Minimalist Mommi

MOVED!

2011-12-11T13:38:00.001-08:00

Hi to all of you lovely readers!I just wanted to let you know that I have officially moved over to my new site: Minimalist MommiThus, if you're an e-mail subscriber or have me in your reader, could you possibly add the new site if it's not too much trouble? Thank you!Can't wait to see you all over there!

Nudity for Minimalism

2011-12-07T13:14:00.000-08:00

I'm sure it's pretty apparent now that I hate stuff. And baby stuff is particularly cumbersome. How do I avoid some of it?

Nudity.

And just how has nudity saved us space and money? Let me count the ways!

1. When the boys eat, they generally do so shirt-less at home. This way, I avoid bibs. Also, I avoid stains on clothes--meaning we don't have to have a "junk" set of clothes and "nice" set of clothes.

2. Painting time is big in our household. If it's warm enough outside, the boys are au naturale with a paint brush in hand. Again, this spares clothes from getting stained. When done outside, I can just hose everything off--children included. Creativity can be added to the list of pro-nudity as the boys enjoy body painting. "Look! Blue's Clues!" You can REALLY turn into anything...

3. Early potty training rocks. Some people call this the schmancy "elimination communication." I call this the "I'm sick of buying/washing diapers, so on the potty you go." If we didn't allow the boys to go "nudey booty" from really early ages, I doubt both would be potty-trained as early as they were. Noah was day & night trained right at two. K-man is 19 months and mostly day time trained (at home he goes on the big potty with no help--awesome for my lazy self). I'm just so grateful that we are almost done with diapers of any kind. Plus, underwear takes up so much less space, less pairs are needed, and cost is lower. And when they're bare-butted, you don't have to worry about them getting the undies off in time.

4. An analogy of sorts, nudity is. If you take things down to the bare bones, it's often easier to find happiness. Such can be the case with physical nudity. When nude, they are as free as can be. They can enjoy the true innocence that is childhood without all of the superfluous in the way. Frankly, sometimes clothes and shoes just get in the way. A shirt snagged on a branch. A shoe with no traction slips on water. This is not to say that clothes aren't helpful at times too, but at-home nudity can eliminate the need for extra sets of clothes. And kids can be kids without the worry of ruining anything or feeling held back. Just go--that's all they need to do at this age.

Less clothing. Reduced diapering stage. Stubborn stains avoided. Uninhibited childhood joy. All brought to you by moseying around the way you came out. Granted, nudity isn't right in every situation, but it can help with the at home necessities.

So let that baby loose and revel in the short amount of time allotted for culturally accepted at-home nudity! And get yourself a margarita with the added time since you have just reduced your laundry duties. You'll probably need it since you're now yelling "LEAVE THAT THING ALONE!" Maybe that extra load of laundry was worth it after all.

The Lie We Believe

2011-12-05T09:42:00.000-08:00

As parents, we want the best for our children. One area all parents are in agreement on is education. I'm sure we can all say that we want our children to get the best education humanly possible. Ok, well our ideas of what the "best" education entails is up for debate, but at the end of the day, we all want our kids to have all the educational opportunities possible.

What a better way to start their education than at home! As much as I agree with this statement, I think companies have taken advantage of parents' helicopter-ness when it comes to education. Buy this! It will increase fine motor skills. You need Y, so your child will develop a healthy imagination and better problem solving skills. Well, we all need well-rounded children. How could we deprive our children of an object that will enhance their intelligence? So we buy and buy and buy some more until our house looks like a preschool or children's museum. The kid just won't turn out right if we don't give them every opportunity for growth possible!

Like most I know, I completely bought into that idea--that our children must have these items to grow up appropriately. Even in my first post about what we own child-wise, I discuss that I keep items under the guise of it being "educational." Through this whole process of practicing what I preach, I had to take a hard look at all the kid ~~crap~~ paraphernalia. After having a long talk with myself, I realized that no amount of fancy educational doodads will increase my children's IQ or make them a better person. At the end of the day, a lot of it comes down to genetics. IQ and personality are both highly heritable. As much as I'd love my children to be the next Einstein, I also have to realize that it's most likely not in their genes. Yet, it also means that more than likely, they will have higher than average IQ's just due to genetics (average is 100, if you graduated high school it jumps to 105, graduated college & it jumps to 115). There goes worry number one that I won't have smart kids. Genetics generally say otherwise.

Then there's the developmental factors. Genetics is just a portion of the picture. Often to achieve our "full potential," we have to be in certain circumstances to increase the likelihood of bringing out a trait. And this is where the toy companies get you. However, what they fail to realize is that every child will utilize toys and items in different ways. Some children are more predisposed to be creative over being analytical, so a toy made to enhance mathematical understanding may not even work for that child's inherent learning style. See where I'm going with this? Not a single toy will achieve everything for everyone. But now you're thinking what the companies want you to think--but what if it can bring that out in my child?! I had those same thoughts too.

But I got over them. How? I took a look around the world and throughout history. My own father who grew up with very, very little (especially in the way of toys), grew up to be a highly intelligent man. If you look around the world and you make the assumption that toys lead to greater intelligence, would you then say that people in South America or Africa are less intelligent because they have less stuff to enhance their natural abilities? I'm guessing we can all agree that conclusion is a bunch of B.S. There are just as many intelligent people coming from less than there are from countries that have more. Thus meaning, the amount of educational crap you fill your house with probably isn't going to do much to educate your children over any other child worldwide.

And from that conclusion is how I am getting rid of the majority of our boys' ~~educational gadgets~~ same ol' toys. Those three ride on toys can help their gross motor skills, but so can tumbling and jumping off their beds. Those toys that supposedly increase reasoning abilities can also be created from items in the recycling. Why house a small library when you can just go to one and return the books when your child tires of them? There's really just no need.

Our kids will turn out fine with three toys or three hundred toys. No amount of coercion and promises from "educational" toy companies will change my child's genetics or make them something they are just not.

So what to keep then? That's up to you to decide. We still have the play kitchen, trampoline, ride on toys, and a whole Expedit bookcase full of toys. Could we deal with less and still have happy, educated children? Absolutely. However, it's a process. The boys are involved in every de-cluttering process. Noah generally decides what stays and what goes. I often find him telling me at stores that he wants to get rid of ALL of his toys just to get one toy. One of these days, I may just take him up on that offer. Plus, I often find that they play with the simplest toys--hand tools, balls, sticks, every item from recycling, sheets, and painting/drawing items. For now, we'll take it a day at a time and hope we come to a place where the boys still have enough to keep them busy playing, but not too much where toys are left to collect dust.

For those already concerned that their children will complain about getting rid of stuff, let me give you some hope. I have seen a significant increase in playing when we have less toys out. I believe that the more you have, the more overwhelmed a child can get. There are too many options. When there are less options, the boys seem to find more creative ways to play and utilize items more. Just some food for thought for those wary of my claims!

What's your toy strategy like? Have you also been susceptible to all of the educational claim of toys? I'd love to hear your experience and ideas!

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Progression

2011-12-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official.

We are owners of a new (to us) couch. And that old sectional is with a new loving family. Our house could now be called bare to most. To me, it's near perfection. If you're new to minimalism or are just on a path to paring down, I'd like to share our progression.

Stage 1: On a bad day...

No surface left uncovered

Stage 2: Bookcases gone along with a lot of other junk

Stage 3: The here & now. Emptiness.

Big difference, right? Some may be thinking that there's a lot of "dead" space. However, what I see is a place...

- For impromptu dance parties
- To stick dog crates for animals using us as a temporary house
- Full of running Wild Boys
- To hold handstand contests
- Allowing creativity in any art medium
- To host friends and family for parties
- With almost nothing to trip over
- That lacks surfaces to house items that should've been put away the first time
- Void of items needing to be put away or cared for

Now that I can breathe more easily, how's your house coming along? Are you in decluttering mode? What does a minimalist space look & feel like to you?

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Want to type-talk some more? Find me on Google+, Twitter, or FaceBook.

If you like what you're reading, care to share? Feel free to snatch the URL and paste where ever you'd like.

When Family Time Ain't Worth It

2011-12-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

I'm warning y'all that this may come off as a total bitch-fest. But this is something I just don't understand.

The topic of my confusion--why families with young children choose to travel.

Firstly, I have to say that if you have the time, resources, and patience to travel with small children, by all means, go right ahead. This is not a post against you, but rather my opinion of why I refuse to partake in traveling with children in tow.

Let's begin...

When I was pregnant with Noah, I had dreams of traveling with my son. Taking him to far away lands. Camping in the mountains. Spending less time at home and more time away. Growing up, we rarely traveled and never did so out of the country. I wanted my son to have a better life than me. Experience more. Be well-versed in other cultures.

Then reality of infancy set in. When Noah was four months old, we took an eight hour car ride to visit GraNana. This wasn't so bad. Except for the diaper changing. And lack of schedule. And having to nurse all the time. And the exhaustion. My goals of traveling seemed possible with a little work. A year later, we took the same trip. This time? Not so easy. Keeping a one year old busy in an eight hour car ride was a chore along with keeping him busy in a hotel room and at GraNana's where every surface was laden with breakable items galore. Add to the fact that I had traveled with just my mom, meaning no extra help from Daddy. Stressful doesn't even begin to explain it.

A few months passed, and K-man was born. Soon after, my mom's side of the family held a reunion in Florida. Despite having the trip paid for, I declined. Who turns down a FREE trip?! Me, the mother of a toddler and newborn, that's who. After guilt set in once the rest of my family returned from their glorious beach trip, we decided to take yet another eight hour car ride to GraNana's. Thankfully, The Hubs was able to go this time. And yet again, we welcomed another bout of stress all in the name of family time.

Well, I've decided no more. As bad as it sounds, I'm slightly glad GraNana canceled on us when we were set to journey yet another eight hours to see her this past month. Taking two toddlers with just my mom for help seemed a bit cruel to me. With yet another upcoming family reunion planned for The Hubs' relatives, I've decided to put my foot down. Maybe I'm selfish, but frankly, I'm not one who welcomes any added stressors.

Now, you may be thinking that this may not seem like a "good" minimalist thing to do--avoid family time for selfish reasons. However, I've created a list as to why it may just fit in line with minimalism.

Why We Won't Travel With Toddlers:

1. MONEY. Traveling is wicked expensive. With Keegan almost being two, it would mean four plane tickets should we choose to fly somewhere. Add in a rental car and hotel room. There goes two grand. Minimalism encourages you to spend your money wisely on things you love. A trip is not fun with young children. I'd rather save that dough.

2. STUFF! Ok, so I know there are people who travel lightly with small children. Kudos to them. However, right now, we require at least one crib or pack & play for Keegan. Add in the stroller if we want to walk anywhere (have you seen The Chariot?! That thing is a beast!). If we fly, then we'd need a vehicle, meaning we'd have to bring both boys' car seats. Oh yeah, and the diapers, changes of clothes, entertainment, blankees, etc.

3. SLEEP. The few times we have traveled with the boys, it meant we got little sleep. It takes them forever to calm down at night. They rise early. And forget about naps! When I hear the word "vacation," I envision lots of delicious sleep. This is exactly the opposite of what happens on a so-called vacation with young children involved.

4. MISSING FAMILY. This is a tough one for me. I love being with family. However, I prefer to do so in the comfort of my own city as long as there are wild boys involved. I figure that most of the relatives are older. Thus meaning, they either have no children or adult children. It makes more sense for them to come to us than us to come to them. So if you're a family member reading this, please come see us! We miss you!

5. MEMORIES. I get this a lot. "Don't you want to give your kids lasting memories." Sure. However, episodic memory (memories of events) doesn't usually kick in until at least two years of age, meaning kids will have no memories of such events. Even with Noah having episodic memory, who remembers trips from when they were three? I know I sure don't. I barely remember much before five. Stick that money into savings, spare the stress, and take the kid to the zoo. It will be just as fun as going to Disneyland at this point. When the boys are actually old enough to remember a trip, we may actually consider going somewhere.

6. FUN FACTOR. Let's be real. When you travel with small children, or any children for that matter, vacations are usually planned around activities they want to do. When I go on vacation, I want to do things that are fun for me. Such things as staying out late, sleeping in, hiking, action sports, and general young adult debauchery. Even with family to help babysit, you never get out of parenting when the kids are with you. Plus, the idea of walking around Disneyland all day makes me want to saw off an arm. It's already become an agreement that my parents will take the boys to Disneyland, while The Hubs and I can go on the real rides at Six Flags. I'm just so not a fan of kid stuff. Period. And thus, what grandparents are for!

This is by no means an extensive list. Just a quick list to give family when they start to yell at me for being lame and not going anywhere.

How about you? Do you/have you traveled with young children? Did you find it stressful? Or are you like me, and avoid traveling with small children as if it were the plague? Let's share!

Just Say No- December's Challenge du Mois

2011-11-30T13:20:00.000-08:00

Thus far I've done extreme couponing, purchased only local groceries, tried to live life without electronic devices, and went down to one car. Five challenges down. Seven to go.

What a better way to start the sixth challenge than with some holiday spirit. And by this, I mean just saying no to the buying frenzy surrounding Christmas. Although we do not celebrate Christmas, both of our families do. BIG TIME. Generally, we give relatives gifts on our holidays while they give us gifts on theirs. However, this year we didn't exactly celebrate "our" holidays, so we're in a pickle. We love our families, and we love to give something back for all the help they give us. Yet, I rarely know what to get people, and in return, they rarely know what to get us. See: gift card exchanging.

Lame, right? Well, while the "adults" generally exchange gift cards, the boys receive a mini toy store every single year. Frankly, this drives me nuts. In order to change the tradition, I instituted a "no stuff" holiday.

What does this mean? Well, I tried to gently let everyone know via e-mail that we would prefer to gift people help with something, food, or experiences. Thus far, the reaction has been pretty good. There have been offerings of meals. There have been talks of how great it is just to spend time together. Yet, I still know there's the underlying expectation that monetary or "stuff" gifts are still expected. Quite frankly, I sort of feel the same way.

What will they think when I don't spend X amount on a gift card or experience? How will I feel when I don't receive Y amount in grocery gift cards that I generally depend on to get us through a week or two? These worries are crazy, right? If you think about how much money you put into gifting versus how much money you get back, you're likely to find a lack of balance between the two.

Instead of letting fear overcome my wishes to stop this holiday buying frenzy, I plan to hold up my end of the bargain. I'll set aside a small amount for immediate family "gifts." For older relatives, charitable donations will be made to their favorite charities. As for The Hubs, we've decided on a new sofa for our anniversary over a trip as we can share more time together on the couch than we can on a short two day trip. Finally, for the boys, my plan is to not buy them a damn thing. I know relatives will gift them things. I know some of the experiences relatives want will be with them. And I also know how bratty a certain preschooler is becoming after having such generous family around all the time.

That's how this month should go in theory. No gift cards, unless it's for a shared experience. No physical stuff that is inedible. More time spent doing things with and for others. Less wrapping paraphernalia to purchase and toss. Little stress about finding that perfect gift. Practically nothing to put away or make room for. Truly enjoying the season and being around those that mean the most to us, not the stuff we are told should mean the most to us.

Are you in? Could you do a holiday season "stuff-less"? What's your gifting strategy like?

This is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to holiday "stuff." Stay tuned for more ideas on how to avoid the majority of holiday shopping, whether it be for gifts, baking supplies, or decorations. Just say no.

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Victory Is...

2011-11-27T22:51:00.000-08:00

When most turn to shopping, I turn to decluttering. And one thing I was determined to declutter? The bane of my existence bookcases.

Yeah, that monstrosity.

Well, if you're up to date, you'll know The Hubs liked the aesthetics of those bookcases in that little random space. This is one thing he stood his ground on. One thing he did not account for is that my stubbornness often outlasts his. So in a fit of frustration, I moved the bookcases. Since he's relatively ~~lazy~~ laid back, he sat on the couch asking me not to. Too late. I had them moved in less than a minute and pleaded for a chance to just try it out. Initially, I claimed I just wanted to see if all of the toys would fit onto one bookcase. I knew he would be skeptical, so he just ignored the situation. Again underestimating me, I got all of the toys to fit on a single bookshelf AND still have it be somewhat organized with only getting rid of one doll and a couple books. With the bookcases moved, and one now emptied, it had been enough time for The Hubs to mentally move on. It wasn't worth the fight to him. A carefully plotted win on my part.

I let those bookcases sit in the middle of the living space over night. You see, I knew I wanted to try out the full bookcase in each boy's room, which would require The Hubs' help. I didn't want to test his patience all at the same time, so again crafted a plan to continue on to a bookcase-free family room. With the arrival of the next day, I was ready. Measuring tape in hand, I first measured Noah's closet. Technically, it should have fit like a glove. In reality, not so much. Of course, this is after I had The Hubs take off closet doors meaning he'd be angrily cussing while trying to get them back on. Welcome my first obstacle to No Bookcased Living Room. After much cussing and wondering if I'd be buying new closet doors, we all took a few minutes to calm down. Surprisingly, The Hubs didn't retaliate much. I even got his help and opinions as to where to officially move the bane. Slowly, I moved. Eventually, victory was officially mine!

Here's how we reconfigured the boys' rooms:

The keyboard got moved into Noah's room, which forced the kitchen into the closet and the ~~ghetto dresser~~ plastic drawers out of the house. You can see Noah's two drawer organizer boxes in the closet now. I love that it's so high up that I can stop re-folding undies and jammies ten times a day.

Keegan's room is now home to the bane. Even with the crib and drum set, the kids still have a ton of space to play. The best part? Less toys are being taken out at a time, and the ones that do generally stay in their rooms.

After a quick victory dance, I noticed an immediate concern. The couch. After moving around most of Noah's first year, we eventually settled into an apartment where we needed furniture. Being the ~~cheap ass~~ frugal gal I am, I couldn't fathom spending about a grand on a new sofa or sectional. Instead, we took a hand me down from a family member. It is far from our style of clean lines, modern, and generally Ikea (because like we could afford anything nicer!). I sucked up my snooty tastes and accepted the couch into our home. Big mistake. Both The Hubs and I have yet to find the thing comfortable at all. It's stiff and lacks what I like to call "butt space"--when the seat cushions are long enough to allow a good slouch without feeling like your ass is falling off. Yep, it's the opposite of that. The back cushions are over stuffed and almost force you to have good posture. Not cool when I want to be lazy and relax.

But we sucked it up and made do for the whole year we were in the apartment. Then we bought our house, and even more problems arose. Since the couch is an L shape, there wasn't a great spot to put it. Plus, the two pieces never stay interlocked. Now that both boys are overly rowdy, the two pieces are apart the second they are put together. To remedy this, we have just kept the two pieces separate, making our decor look even more awkward. What looks most awkward? How we have it now.

The couch & TV used to be on opposite walls but certain monkeys learned how to climb from the sofa through the cut out and onto the kitchen counters.

You see how I put the small piece where the banes used to be? It's weird there. However, I like how much more open our living space feels. What would you do with a space like this? Being a minimalist, I LOVE open space. I hate having useless items, such as the small section of couch (ok not completely useless as Tess uses it, but that dog has two other beds). I love saving my money. I hate spending money just because I'm a perfectionist. At the end of the day, I'd much prefer to have items I love in my home over items that make me scowl. Once that idea pops in, I'm hit with the harsh reality that anything I love will be destroyed by every human fluid.

And the children have struck again! The victory of the bookcases was only glossing over the real war from a combatant I didn't even consider. Sneakily, the children's plot of house domination was completed. Bookcases and toys moved, yet they've still won by essentially forcing us to keep a ho-hum sofa or threaten the integrity of any nice, beautiful couch we choose.

Touché, Wild Boys. Touché.

*Sorry for the bad pictures. Again. It's the crappy lighting, especially at night. Why are our light bulbs so massively yellow? I have no clue!

An Extension

2011-11-26T20:14:00.000-08:00

Four days. That's all that is left of November, meaning that our one car experiment is nearing the finish line. But you never even updated us, you're thinking. That's right, I have yet to write another word about November's challenge. Until now.

Why did I leave you all wondering about this? Mainly it's because it was such a seamless transition that I frankly forgot we were doing it at all. It was not until this weekend when The Hubs was planning to work on Ghetto Car that I remembered.

So did I cheat? Not once. Ghetto car is still sitting unfixed, collecting dust and kitty prints in the garage. After finally looking at parts online, we realized it would be at least $600 to fix-a few hundred more than originally anticipated. I was not convinced that it was worth it. Then, in a harsh twist of fate, Nicer Looking Car started leaking oil and the driver's side interior door handle fell off. Great, even more money to shell out into vehicles.

Instead of working on either car this weekend, we were stuck in a dilemma. Fix one car, sell the other? Fix both cars? Sell both cars and get a good used car that won't need all this work? We own both cars outright--no loans. Trade-in value between both cars is a mere 5k according to Kelley Blue Book. Yet, Nicer Looking car needs about $600 worth of work. Ghetto car needs at least $600 worth of work. And those prices are if The Hubs does all the labor. Plus, each car is at least ten years old and over 100k miles--making them due to continually have problems arise. Weighing the pros and cons of each car and scenario, we felt stuck. A newer car would be fantastic, but I love our savings account a little too much right now. Both of the cars we own have their flaws and features. What's a family to do?!

Extend. After much deliberation, we decided to keep both cars, work on Nicer Looking Car, stay as a one (working) car family, and see how it goes. Since we don't have car loans, we aren't concerned about forking over money every month for a non-functioning car. As for car insurance, it's about the same price for two cars with the bare minimum as it is for one car with good insurance (we feel that if we only have one car, premium car insurance is safer because we have no fall back vehicle to turn to). Gas money is about the same, if not a little less.

All that we miss with having only one car is about an hour of sleep, The Hubs' pride, and being somewhat homebound for 24ish hours. Oh yeah, and the firefighters at The Hubs' station getting to see me at my "just rolled out of bed" best when he's dropped off. There goes both of our pride.

What about you? Could you pull off being a one-car household? Have you ever given it a shot? Feel inspired? Let's chat!

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Want to chat some more? I am usually hanging out at Google+, Twitter, or FaceBook.

Instead of...

2011-11-25T20:25:00.000-08:00

Instead of staying up late or waking up insanely early...

...I laid in bed for as long as possible.

Instead of pushing people out of the way to a "must have" bargain...

...I wielded a sledge hammer and broke up an old compost spot

Instead of shelling out cash I didn't have all in the name of Christmas spirit...

...I switched from Bank of America to a credit union in the name of saving money.

Instead of wasting gas driving from store to store and waiting in never-ending lines...

I moved around some furniture and kept my body in motion.

Instead of coming home from a treacherous day at the mall and loathing the items that need to be put away...

...I spent hours laughing with family and enjoying an even more empty house.

Instead of participating in the Black Friday frenzy...

...I lived a true life not dependent on items and sales and spending.

How did you spend your Black Friday? Did you avoid the stores and enjoy a spending-free day? Did you head to a store for something special? Or maybe you are not a 'Merican, and thus, giddily laugh at how ridiculous our country can be? Let's talk!

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Want to help out in the name of science? Sebastian, with the Dept. of Anthropology at Rutgers University, is conducting research about modern minimalists. All you have to do is answer some questions via Skype or another chat platform, and you give him invaluable information for his ethnography. You don't have to be a blogger, but any version of a minimalist over age 18 is golden. I took part, and it was truly a fun and reflective experience. Plus, it's for science, people. SCIENCE! Interested? Contact Sebastian at sebby [at] eden.rutgers.edu.

And as always, I'm around Google+, Twitter, or FaceBook

A Quickie

2011-11-24T13:28:00.000-08:00

For those in 'Merica today, it is our one day set aside to remember that we are all lucky, lucky people. Despite trying to bring gratitude into my every day, I wanted to stop by and say a quick thank you to all you amazing readers.

Truly, your visiting, commenting, support, and comedy bring a smile to my day. Even though I generally blog for the hell of it, it means more than anything that you have chosen to spend a few minutes of you precious time caring about the nonsense I spew.

So thank you.

Oh and for a quick giggle, enjoy Pilgrim Pup.

Grateful for Guilt

2011-11-23T09:46:00.000-08:00

My favorite holiday is a mere twenty-four hours away. Thanksgiving.

For those who do not live in the States, it is a holiday about the coming together and sharing of the Native Americans and Pilgrims. Since history is my least favorite subject, that's about all I care to know about it. Instead, I prefer to take my own spin and importance on the holiday. Firstly, I think it's my favorite holiday because there is no gift exchange. It's purely about family and communities coming together to enjoy delicious food. Oh yeah, and it's the singular day a year that forces people to verbally spew their list of things to give thanks for.

And something I'm thankful for this year: GUILT.

Wait, you say. I've been reading all of those philosophical minimalism blogs, and they all say that guilt is bad. How dare you veer from the norm!

Let me explain. Guilt comes in two forms- the justified and unjustified. For example, I was instilled with guilt surrounding every single thing I did. I was wrong. My actions, thoughts, feelings--all wrong. Obviously, this is an untrue statement, but I was wracked with guilt because I was wrong. Meet unjustified guilt. But justified guilt? I have a lot of it. Like when I feel guilty for all that I have. By the standards of our country, we aren't well off. Yet to the standards of the world, we live like royalty. Guilt seeps in that we have too much. And you know what, that guilt is right. Comparatively, our lives are bountiful. The guilt allows me to realize this and creates gratefulness.

Thus, justified guilt serves an important purpose. It can lead to a sense of thankfulness. The best part is that it can lead to action to reduce or obliterate the guilt. You see, a lot of those philosophical bloggers suggest that guilt weighs us down. We should be happy with where we are at and what we have. And I agree, to an extent. However, I think it also breeds an unconscious level of complacency. And in worst cases, it can lead to feeling like we don't have enough. Let's take the Occupy Wall Street movement as an example. While I believe there is some merit behind what's going on, I also believe their frustration is somewhat unfounded. If you start getting comparative, one would note that there are many, many other countries and groups of people who should occupy the US. Comparatively, even those who are in medical debt or who are mad that they could no longer pay their mortgage or lost their high paying job are in much better shape to survive than people even slightly south of us. If those people allowed a bit of justified guilt to linger, maybe they would be grateful that there's unemployment benefits or access to health care (even though you pay, you can still go) or places to rest your head if you lose housing. Heck even our toilet water is cleaner than a vast majority of the world's drinking water.

Basically, even though many feel they are in dire straits, in perspective, we are still much better off than most of those even a couple hundred miles south. And for remembering all of this on a regular basis, I have guilt to thank. As most, I could be doing so much more and my guilt only pushes me to do more, to find ways to lessen the burden of the rest of the world. Make the Earth a more even playing field.

So while you sit down and break off that turkey leg, remember the justified guilt you may have for being able to share such a delicious, nutritious meal. Maybe it will make you say thank you more. And maybe it will make you put that turkey leg down and hand it off to someone who hasn't eaten in days.

Happy Guiltful Thanksgiving!

From Scratch- Breakfast Pudding

2011-11-21T20:58:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm pretty lazy at times about making healthy foods, especially in the morning when all I want to do is crawl back into bed. In the midst of trying to find something protein filled that a certain picky three year old would eat, I came up with the easiest breakfast ever. Let me introduce you to Breakfast Pudding.

Breakfast Pudding
Ingredients
-1 container of silken tofu (used the Wildwood organic sprouted silken tofu)
-1/2 jar of peanut butter (used Laura Scudder's organic creamy...cheaper than the non-organic at Target-$2.49 for organic 16oz jar v. $3.29 for non-organic 16 jar)
-About 4 spoonfuls of Nutella or enough until the desired taste is achieved.

Directions:
-Drain tofu and slightly press between towels to remove excess water
-Put all ingredients in blender
-Allow it to blend thoroughly
-Schlep in bowl and dig in!

Seriously, this is one of the best breakfasts for the boys. Loads of protein. Natural & healthy. Tastes decadent. If you want to make it even better, add some fresh raspberries or any other fruit on top. I know most people have a tofu aversion, myself included, but this really does turn out like pudding.

Sorry there are no pictures included. A certain preschooler who generally fights eating at all costs consumed a bowlful in record time. The good eatin' toddler practically inhaled the stuff. Child tested. Mommi (and dietician) approved.

Offing Yourself

2011-11-19T21:18:00.000-08:00

By now, I think we're all aware of how melodramatic I can be. What a better way to end the dramatics by offing myself.

No, not that. I'm talking about breaking the attachment to items that are a direct extension of myself. Made by Minimalist Mommi.

Getting rid of store bought, mass produced items? Cake. Handing over goods made by loving hands you know? Torn, but doable. Pushing out the things made by you? Kicking and screaming.

Well, I'm sure we can all agree that crafts and artwork we make aren't always phenomenal. What about those pieces we pour countless hours into fussing over every tiny detail? How could we ever get rid of something that came from our hands and our minds and our hearts? A physical item that represents all of those abstract feelings. The memories elicited. How can one bear to part with a single "thing" that is her?

The answer is painstakingly. I currently have two ceramic pieces sitting atop the bane of my existence bookcases. One represents my tastes of the time and is easily the one piece I made that was all for me without the theme or suggestion of my teacher. My personality poignantly expressed between clay and glaze. Then there's the bowl--my last ceramic piece made. Unlike piece number one, the bowl leaves less to be desired design-wise, but was a testament to my persistence at the wheel. My perfectly shaped and trimmed bowl. I still swoon over the shape. And I can't help but remember the numerous times that clump of Earth was strewn about, smashed, and stretched until the form of my dreams no longer alluded me but was finally at my fingertips.

Two extensions of me--the perfectionist and creator--now cluttered my home. As much as I enjoy reminiscing, I can't help but remember the mantra of "if it's of no use, let it loose." Other than Blankee, these two insignificant, yet highly valued items, leave me befuddled. In a sense, it feels as if I'm killing a part of myself. Offing a feat of near perfection. Offing my relic of dissipating creativity. I know that items don't make a person, but if they were a person?

Clinging to the past is generally no good for anyone. As initially sad as I may be, to Goodwill my former self will go. Killing that past does not mean forgetting it. Perfectionism and creativity can always be kissed back to life (and possibly by a frog). And I repeat and repeat: I am not an item, I am not an item, I am not an item. Depth of creativity can bring meaning to a piece, but at the end of the day, it's still just another thing requiring care. Instead of trying to escape to the past via fired clay, I can put more care into the present me.

Plus it's two less things to dust. Anything to reduce the cleaning regime is worth a few moments of sadness to reap the added happiness of less housework.

What about you? Have you ever made something and given it up? Are you as torn as I have been? Let's share!

You can always comment here, Google+, Twitter, or FaceBook. Reading about your experiences, thoughts, and opinions are why I stick around.

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BIG NEWS! The new site is close to completion. ETA is the end of the week. This is a quick heads up since you may need to re-subscribe to the feed or add the new site on your reader.

When I Eat My Words

2011-11-18T09:59:00.000-08:00

Buy used. Purchase fairly made items. It's not about what you wear. Clothes don't make a person.

I've said it all before. In theory, it all sounds great. Morality over aesthetics. When it comes down to the boys? Epic fail.

Let's start by saying that little boy clothes are generally atrocious. Painfully bright shirts with overly-cartoonish creatures. Cargo shorts with a bagillion pockets. Plain, baggy everything. I just never wanted to boys like that. How could I be so shallow when I boasted my morals as the opposite? I have a few theories on this one. Firstly, when I was pregnant each time, I begged and pleaded for a girl. The clothing options were adorable. Peasant blouses with tights and adorable gold flats. And the head bands! As much as I lack style and hate accessories, the idea of being able to play dress up with a little girl was too much fun. But then, reality came glaring at me with each ultrasound. Boys it would most definitely be. Well, if I was going to have boys, they might as well look good, I rationed. And by good, I meant not baby-ish or little boy-ish. What did I do? I headed to Dillard's and stocked up on little man shirts and jeans and hoodies (on clearance, of course), so the fetus could come out and immediately be dressed just like Daddy. No onesies or rompers for them. They were going to come out little skaters and musicians. Just add skateboards and drum sticks.

That's what happened for the most part. I shelled out cash for the boys to look my version of awesome. Maybe it also meant they would grow up faster. I mean, they looked like little men. My mother always commented on how old they looked because they were never in baby clothes. Frankly, I liked that. Grow, children, grow!

Reality set in, as it always does. Getting the boys men-styled clothes didn't magically age them any faster. I took a step back and gave in a bit. A few onesies here. Carpenter jeans there. Shopping at re-sale and thrift stores occasionally. Allowing Noah to pick out a few of his own shirts no matter how much I gagged at the design. I had given in and allowed morals to override aesthetics.

Then came this week. The Hubs desired a new sweatshirt and needed a new hat. Since the style he prefers is rarely available second-hand, and if it is, it's still the same price as buying new on clearance, new was the best option. Again, to Dillard's and Nordstrom's Rack we headed. The hats were too pricey or ugly if on clearance. Hoodies were insanely priced. Oh, but the boys section is right around the corner. Let me just take a peek. Wrong choice. Over $100 later, Noah had a new wardrobe. Flat fronted shorts with no cargo pockets--almost identical to Daddy's. A haul of new shirts with the latest designs from Hurley and Quiksilver.Shirts that Daddy wish they made in his size. The sting of failure and loss of money set in. I had once again fallen in the trap of trying to make my kids cool by dressing them "cool" instead of encouraging them to have good personalities to become "cool" people.

What to do now? Do I return it all and try to find decent clothes at a second-hand store? Do I keep it all knowing that the brands I purchased are well-made and will easily last through two children? As of right now, I'm unsure of which direction to take. I still swoon when I see the boys dressing like Daddy. And I know my time of picking out their wardrobe is extremely limited. When we've purchased "lower" brands new and used, they seem to stay stained and easily rip or get holes. As much as I hate to be a brand whore, the brands I generally purchase for the boys have done an AMAZING job of holding up through two wild children. Plus, of the clothes I purchased, Noah is already attached to every item. They are his special clothes--"Just like Daddy's shirt!" The kid likes to be a mini-Daddy. I hate to take that away from him. I'm in a pickle, y'all.

How do you instill the morals and ethics of not worrying about what you wear when you still really do care about what the child wears? I'm unsure of where to draw that line. Today, I'll keep on swoonin' over the Daddy resemblance. Tomorrow may just bring the clothing rebellion.

And really, who doesn't love a toddler in Chuck Taylor's?

Options

2011-11-17T08:30:00.000-08:00

To begin, I just wanted to thank you all for your insight and support on the last post. I was immensely surprised at the kindness of you all--not a single hateful comment. How did I get so lucky to have such open, honest, AMAZING readers?! You all rock.

After sitting down and breathing many sighs of relief that my "secret" was finally out, I needed to figure out a plan. I knew now was the time to move forward in life--work towards something just for me. But what to do?

The Hubs and I discussed and discussed and argued a bit. Neither of us wanted to put our career efforts on hold. For both of us to continue (or in my case, start) doing things we loved, one of us would have to suffer. And we both feel like we've done that. The Hubs worked while I went to school. Granted, he had no clue what he wanted to do back then, but I still consider it a sacrifice. Then, I gave up everything I worked my ass off for in college to stay home with Noah and now Keegan. However, I somewhat expected The Hubs to be hired by now. It is said that it takes firefighters an average of five years to get hired, and it's already been almost four. Things weren't moving as quickly as I had naively anticipated.

So here we are--set on "stuck." Being a graduate student is all I have ever wanted to do. Why? Who knows, but I've always wanted to get there. Due to the fact that my doctoral endeavors are only suited to one university in the world, my only option would be to move. And moving would mean leaving behind a job and an abundance of free babysitters. Well since Austin (University of Texas-Go Longhorns!)is not in the future any time soon, I thought about widening my horizons. Maybe a Master's in Sustainability or in Non-Profit Studies from our local university. Maybe I give up all of my research dreams and just go to work. Maybe I try to burn this resentment and suck up being a stay at home mom. Maybe.

When I got down to the nitty-gritty, I know in my heart that none of that will suffice. My thirst for research will still be there. My interest in animal behavior will not wane. For my sanity, I have to move towards dreams.

So here's the plan as of today:

1. Study and take the GRE (Graduate Records Exam...basically the SAT to get into grad school) by August 2012. Gradate programs generally only take applications in December and most only admit for the fall semester. I'm SOL this year, so graduate school is at least a year and a half away.

2. Do a thorough literature review and form my hypothesis and study expectations. Since I'm no longer a student, I no longer have access to databases. Thus, I will be spending a lot of time at my nemesis-Arizona State University. I will have to hide the blue and red of the Alma Mater by stowing away in a library corner.

3. Once I formulate exactly what it is I intend to research, my *hopefully* future professor will be contacted to give me some direction. I hope that he will work with me to get some simple research started. I also have the benefit of my old professor and contacts through him to also lend a hand.

4. Finally, once I have it all set up and ready to go, the cat rescues will be contacted. My research subjects are cats. Yep, I may just be a crazy cat lady. In order to start on my research, I'll need help of local rescues. I may get started on this early as I eventually want to start/work with an animal rescue. Thus, it would be good to volunteer or intern on the administrative side of things.

5. If all else fails, and it's still taking The Hubs FOREVER to get hired out in Texas, I will work towards the Master's in Non-Profit Studies. At least this way, I will be completely ready to start my own rescue. Rescue first, research later? I may have no other choice.

6. And since this is not enough to keep me busy, I will also be offering locals my de-cluttering and organization services. For now, it will be free. If you're a local, central AZ resident and want some help, let me know. I could use the break.

There you have it. I've got some freaking goals. Now, since I've typed them all up and hit "publish" that means I need to be held to them. Feel free to harass me on a regular basis because procrastination will surely set in.

And again, thank you all for your inherent awesomeness.

Alienating Honesty to Thwart Guilt

2011-11-15T19:48:00.000-08:00

Maybe I come off a little too TMI for some of you. Maybe I come off arrogant. Maybe I come off like I have it all together. Maybe I come off as a loud-mouthed, crazy woman.

One thing that is not a maybe, that is pure truth, I have hid from you all. Rather, I've hid it from every single person on this Earth except for two people. Why now? Why divulge such brutal honesty that will surely alienate the majority of my readers?

That's easy. I need to be me--the full, unedited me or I can't do this blogging thing any longer.

You see, I've tried to see the other side of this dilemma. Cut up the lemons to make lemonade. Visited a therapist when those lemons sat cut on the cutting board refusing to make a delectable treat. Yet, I could never shake the resentment and just move on. At least, that's how I felt until I really sat down and ruminated in the frustration over children and their physical bounty.

What I discovered is what I will share right now: being a mom does not suit me. Being a stay at home mom is killing me. Every. Single. Day.

While you all start dialing CPS, let me explain. I never wanted children, especially not "natural" ones. Before getting married, The Hubs and I had many talks about children. He was open to the idea. I was not. When I was slightly open, I was only open to adoption. This is still how I felt when I got accidentally pregnant with numero uno. And this is still how I felt when I got accidentally pregnant again with numero dos. Frankly, this is still how I feel today two children and almost four years later.

So why have them? Why not get an abortion or give them up? Firstly, I could never get an abortion. Ever. If I was in favor of abortion, trust me, neither kiddo would be here today. As for adoption, I brought up the idea, but no one took me seriously as I was married. I was stuck. And as for why I never wanted children, that's easy. I was never around younger children growing up. Despite babysitting and nannying (which I loved), I still knew being a mother wasn't for me. I was an academic.* I had a brain.* I should be using the gifts I was given over being a mother.* Plus, my own parents never once discussed the idea of getting married and creating a family. We were raised to achieve, achieve, achieve, whether is was academically or career-related. Marriage and babies didn't fit into that equation.

Well, marriage fit into my equation early on and is still something I love (as hard as it is). As for the kids, I'm still not ready. I love them. They're funny. They share my eyes and ears and toes. They share my daredevil qualities. But staying at home feels like I am constantly decaying. Yes, kids can be funny and interesting, but I rarely feel that extreme joy I hear from most mothers--the "how could life be any better!" or "I can't imagine my life without/before children!" or "this is the best job ever!" And the guilt sinks in because I'm not one of those moms. Frankly, I will never be. Only, I am now okay with that.

No more beating myself up for not loving every minute. No more crying over how I just don't fit in with the rest of those "born mothers." No more trying to be someone I am not.

I am me. An accidental mother who needs work and college to maintain happiness. A young woman who stopped her dreams to try and raise two vibrant boys. A person completely imperfect, but perfectly honest.

With that off my chest (finally), I will retreat. The hate will most likely invade my inbox. But I stand strong in knowing that my children will only flourish with my decision to take a step towards my version of happiness. Whether I choose work or school, I feel confident that the boys will be getting a better mom.

*Obviously, there are SO many mothers that love mothering and are academics/brainiacs. This was just a notion I received growing up--Smart women work. They don't stay home.

Q&A--The 100th Post!

2011-11-14T06:00:00.000-08:00

I truly can't believe this is my 100th post! And I have all of you amazing readers to thank for it! Today, I'm answering some questions from you all.

From Joleen:

my hubby and i go without cable and internet(for the house) to save money. what else you think we could go without in the household to save the bucks?

Hmm...It's hard to say without knowing what your bills are. Here are a few things to look at:

-Mortgage/rent: You could try and get your interest rate reduced or negotiate your rent price.
-Utilities: This is easy--reduce consumption. We try to use as little electricity as possible, which works by unplugging everything we aren't using (even TV, modem, etc.). For water, the less you use, the better! Also, some electric companies have programs that discount your monthly bill if you qualify income-wise. We save $17 a month on electricity by falling into the lower income bracket.
-Phone: Since you use your data plan, could you reduce texting? We got rid of our texting plans ($20/month) and use Google Voice (FREE!) for texting instead. You could just leave the Voice tab open on your phone to receive texts that way instead of paying for texting through your provider.
-Insurance: Whether it's car, house, or health insurance, there are usually options. You could shop around and consider a higher deductible to reduce your monthly payment.
-Groceries: Meal planning helps some budget their money better. Coupons are also an option to save some dough.
This is by no means an expansive list, but something to get you started! Hope that helps :)

Christine asks:

My question is about blogging with kids. How do you fit it in? What do your kids think about it? I get a lot of moans and groans when I'm on the computer and I'm trying to figure out how to strike a balance. However, my oldest is fascinated by the blog and wants to read every post.

This is a tough one. I too receive a lot of frustration from children when on the computer. One such small child goes so far as to sit on the computer just to sit on my lap. Generally, I get blogging done during nap or after they go to bed. Otherwise, I have been known to turn on a show or movie to keep them distracted long enough to get my thoughts down before they dissipate and get taken over with what to make for lunch. I'm sure once they are a bit older, it may get easier. But, kids want attention when they want attention. If all else fails, I give the oldest a time limit (because he's old enough to understand), like, "Mommi needs to finish her work. Give me twenty minutes, then we'll go play dragons in your room." This is usually enough. Good luck! It's definitely a hard balance to find!

Through FaceBook, Brandy wonders:

What are your must have beauty products?

My number one beauty must have is L'Oreal Double Extend mascara. Hands down. Mascara is just one of those things I refuse to leave the house without. And for the days I rush out and forget to apply, I keep one in my purse. Otherwise, I try to keep the other necessities to a minimum. Granted I'm no minimalist when it comes to the beauty department, but after years of working in the beauty industry, I've found a few staples. My staples? Mascara (can I advocate for this enough?!), two tones of neutral eye shadow, eye liner, chap stick and/or clear lip gloss, blush, face powder, blow dryer, round brush, hair ties, bobby pins, razors, and soap.

Danita ponders:

How long have you been vegan. Was it hard? What were reasons?

Firstly, I'm just vegetarian. I do eat eggs and some dairy products. I was vegan off and on for a few years, but I was a horrible vegan. As for why I choose such dietary restrictions, it comes down to compassion. I spent my college career researching animal behavior and cognition. Knowing that animals experience pain similarly to humans, I can't fathom putting any being through the pain of death. Plus, I figure I wouldn't want to be killed and eaten, so extend that courtesy to other beings.

Carrie was kind enough to submit not one but three questions:

name the top 3 places you would live & why. What's one of the most embarrassing thing that have happen to you? Do you plan to go back to school or work? If so when?

1. The three places I would live are easy: Austin for school & the beautiful hills, trees, and everything else about that city; Tucson for the mountains, awesomeness, smallness, atmosphere, & nostalgia; Portland for its beauty and eco-friendliness. I would consider other countries, but I have only been to Canada for less than a day and to Rocky Point in Mexico--not enough knowledge, but am open!

2. Hmmm...a lot of embarrassing things happen to me. One I can remember off the top of my head is when I chose not to dress out for dance class in high school and ended up splitting my pants like a good ruler length from the butt to the knee. I had to wear the lovely skin tight dance pants of a friend for the rest of the day. I was mortified to say the least (especially since I was a good 30+ lbs heavier).

3. YES!! I'm dying to go back to school. I'd go back to work in a heartbeat if I could find something that pays well enough for me to not stay home AND is something I love. Unfortunately with my degree, I need a graduate degree, but that's why I chose my major. As for when, the answer is as soon as we can move to Austin. However, I'm already feeling brain-dead, so am looking for options here just to stave off the boredom.

Meredith wants to know:

How do you do with kid food wastage? Do you bring it upon yourself to feel the need to eat the junk they leave behind to reduce waste?

Kids and food. This is a BIG reason children frustrate me--they're wasteful. We work at this from a few angles. Firstly, we initially give them less food. However, since Noah is an especially light eater, there are usually leftovers. Sometimes we'll save half-eaten meals and give it to them later. If not too much is left or it's something I know they won't eat, it goes to the dog (as long as it's safe for her to eat). The Hubs occasionally picks food off their plate, but I never do. I have a rule that I don't eat food or drink things other people have nibbled on or sipped from because I'm a germaphobe like that. I would say the majority of the time, food goes to the dog. And this is about 40% of why we got her.

Finally, we have Heather's dilemma:

If there were a zombie outbreak.. Do you think zombies would prefer the flesh of vegans or meat eaters?

This is a tricky one, but my guess would be the omnivores. Their flesh would probably emit a stronger, meatier scent. Oh yeah, and they probably have more muscle mass. However, I am assuming that zombies prefer meat over veggies. Time will tell on this one!

Have a better answer? I'd love to hear it!

The Key

2011-11-11T20:53:00.000-08:00

It's been a rough couple of weeks.

Things kept breaking down. A dog learned how to hop a wall. Illness struck. Health insurance stopped due to a mere $15 over the limit. Vacation cancelled. And the stress level rose exponentially.

Consequently, I've been a bit aloof from Ye Olde Blog. It's not that a lot wasn't swirling through my head because, boy, it was. I was just filtering. And sparing you all from my pity party. Granted it was hard, and tears were most definitely shed in abundance, but I succeeded in filtering.

How are things now? Still ebbing. A glimmer of hope was needed. Finally, a glimmer came in a literal key towards happiness.

This key to be exact.

You see, life has been ebbing for quite some time. Short flows have been interspersed, but ebbing has prevailed. During this ebbing, we lost a key to the now broken car. The plastic loop hole was broken, and despite trying to jerry-rig it with an industrial twisty tie, it fell off the key ring. Since it's a certain type of key, you can only re-order through the dealer over just going to Home Depot to have a duplicate made. When you talk about getting items through an authorized dealer, it means money. Why are parts so much more from the company of origin? I have no clue. Either way, the new key was well over fifty bucks. With my ability to lose keys in an empty room, we desperately needed that new key. But being the frugal person I am, I couldn't fathom shelling out that sort of cash for a simple key. So we made do with one. And yes, at times, my keys were lost, forcing us to be late or miss events. Yet adding to the strength of the ebbing motion my life has been taking.

Today, the stream of life decided to take a quick, but strong turn towards flowing. All it took was the discovery of a broken key under a car seat while vacuuming out our one mostly functioning vehicle. Will the ebbing take over this short burst of flow? Time will tell. For tonight, I will rest knowing that a spark of the positive has finally entered our life, and hope that spark turns into a positivity fire.

And how are you all, lovely readers? I apologize for my absence, but have missed you all. Comments will be replied to. Also? Since I'm still in a bit of a funk, I'm trying to get together a Q&A post for the next post--the 100th one! Thus, I sort of, kinda need some questions. Feel free to add it in the comments below, leave it on Google+, Twitter, or FaceBook, or e-mail it. Thank you all. Truly.

As Children Grow...

2011-11-08T22:13:00.000-08:00

...so does their stuff!

Did you catch up on my dilemma on "The Bounty of Children" yesterday? Well that post was published exactly eight months ago. Ok, well I thought it had been a year, but either way here's a check up on how we're doing in the kid "stuff" department.

Remember those bookcases? They are still the bane of my existence. You see, The Hubs loves how they look in that space. Truthfully, it is an odd space and those two bookcases just so happen to fit perfectly. However, that leaves me to keep those individual boxes occupied. And that is what I hate--having to keep just enough to justify having the bookcases. The Hubs says it doesn't matter if some are empty, but I personally think it would look weird. All you interior design junkies--what would you do with such a space? Would empty boxes look weird?

Let's move on to the content of those cubby holes. In the original picture, it was hard to know that all four teal bins were full to capacity. As for the non-bin toys, about half of the original items are gone now, like the puzzles, helmet, musical instruments, and books. In order to fill those spaces, I divvied up the bin items into various categories. Also? There are some new toys, thanks to birthdays. In all, I do believe there is MUCH less than the original photo. Yet, it still seems like WAY too much.

Here are the contents of the bins now:
Mish-Mash Bin-

Stuffy Bin (most filled)-

BALLS! Bin-

Vehicle Bin (most of these are handmade by their Great Grandpa)-

As for the boys' rooms, not much changed. Noah's room is void of the large cardboard box due to destruction and has added a tunnel (borrowed from my parents). The rocking horse originally in K's room also made the journey into Noah's room. Keegan's room is now set for a big kid...and a band. The original photo showcased a baby tummy time type toy along with a mirror. Well, the mirror has since been donated, and large plastic toy is back at Nana's house. In their place, the boys acquired a keyboard from their uncle and a drum set for K's first birthday thanks to good ol' Craig's List. The only other addition is a dual step-stool/bench made by their great grandpa. It's beautiful and awesome, but the sucky part is that we have no use for it other than the occasional photo shoot of the boys. For now it stays, unless one of you amazing readers has a great suggestion. Oh yeah, and that art easel I was on the fence with finally made it to Noah's school's yard sale. As much as they paint and draw, those efforts never seemed to make it to the easel.

Then there's the backyard wonderland. Monster trampoline (best investment ever) and slide/playhouse are still loving residents. Otherwise, one tricycle was moved out to make room for Noah's third birthday present--the pink bike he begged and begged and begged for, but has only sat on once. Baby pool was destroyed, so that had to head to the dumpster. Also in the yard is the basket of toys, which was not originally posted. That basket has been significantly pared down, mainly due to high heat and crap plastic joining together to create quickly and easily broken toys.

Finally, we have an area I completely forgot about in my original post: movies. Ok, so these aren't necessarily toys, but are definitely used for entertainment purposes. In the last eight months, we've gotten rid of a handful of movies and returned the majority of those that belonged to relatives. I would love to get rid of more, but I keep a few in the chance the internet or Netflix are out or for road trips. If you have kiddo movies, how many do you keep? I hate keeping "just in case items," but when a kid is sick, a movie day is in order (and often the only thing that keeps them still and resting).

And this concludes our toy update. We've pared down by about 30%. I want to pare down another 50%, but am not sure where to go from here. Truly, it's those damn bookcases. Has anyone else noticed too that as kids age their toys just get larger for awhile? The kitchen. The musical instruments. The outdoor paraphernalia. There may be fewer toys in number, but they take up so much more space. Thoughts on this dilemma? Is this one of those wait it out scenarios? Can you tell that for a parent, I'm not really into being a kid-friendly household? As much as I love our kids, I hate their stuff even more. I am torn.

So help a motha out, would ya?

Comment below. Have more to say? Connect on Google+, Twitter, or FaceBook.

Let's Revisit...

2011-11-07T10:37:00.000-08:00

Seeing as how I'm ill today, I'm going to be lazy and re-post. However, I've been meaning to revisit the "bounty of children" and update with where we are at now. So yeah, let's just say that illness is forcing me to stop procrastinating. For today enjoy the following post from the early days of Minimalist Mommi. Tomorrow, I will return with the updated pictures. Enjoy!

The Bounty of Children

#Occupy T-Mobile

2011-11-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you're all aware of the whole Occupy Wall Street movement. If you're not, Google it. I'll wait.

Ok, now that you're all caught up, I decided to start my own occupy movement. My target? T-Mobile.

Last week, my phone became possessed by the number 5. Press the call button. Number 5 shows up. Press the back button. Number 5 shows up. Press anything on the qwerty keyboard. Nothing happens. I was stuck with a malfunctioning phone. Despite trying to turn it off and on and removing the battery and pressing every key about a million times, nothing changed. I gave up and headed to my closest T-Mobile store.

Two wily children in tow, I broke up the boy fest. I guess that should have been my cue about such a company in the first place--no customers. The employees were just hanging around doing probably anything BUT working. So we come trudging in, and I lay it on them. One of the guys tried everything I tried again to no avail. I was told I could get a replacement. Okay, just give me the same phone, please...and pronto! Well, that wasn't an option. They weren't carrying/making my model anymore. I could choose from one similar to The Hubs' or an upgrade touch screen Droid-esque version of my old gal. Begrudgingly and angrily I went with the touch phone. Oh yeah, and I would be charged $20 for shipping because I didn't have the insurance. Excuse me? You want to charge me a fee to ship me a phone I don't even want when the few months old one goes berserk? Absolutely not. Since there were no customers in the store other than the brood, the manager jumped in and waived the fee when I threatened to cancel. I was getting a new phone on T-Mobile's dime. What I was losing was a week with no phone service.

So I waited and waited for the phone to come in the mail. In the meantime, I called T-Mobile and told them to pro-rate the month because I was unable to use their service while waiting for this elusive fancy phone. They obliged. Well, the day came, and I FINALLY got the phone. Wait, this thing is refurbished? I'm all for used items, but when you're told that you will be receiving a NEW phone, you expect a new phone. I felt duped by T-Mobile. Not to mention that this phone was confusing as heck, and the call quality sucked majorly. I just wanted my old phone back.

More calls were made to T-Mobile. I was sick of the lies. I was again told that I should love this phone. It's an "upgrade". It's more expensive. It has more features. They don't make my old phone. I was stuck. After a half hour between call center employees, I headed to T-Mobile's site. And there it was. The new version of my old phone. A type of phone I was told did not exist. Livid by the continual string of T-Mobile lies, I called back. After yet another employee basically telling me I shouldn't be complaining because this new phone is way better, I got to speak to someone higher in command. Thankfully, this time, it was a woman--the first woman I have spoken to between venturing to stores and calling almost a dozen times now. Let me just say, this woman got it. Within five minutes, I was getting the same version of my old phone sent to me, and I would be able to use the schmancy phone until new, downgraded phone arrives.

And I won. I called and called and complained and argued until I beat the insane "upgrade" cycle and got the oldie goldie back. This is what can happen when you're a ~~bitchy~~ caring consumer. If you fight these large companies, changes can be made, even if they are just at the individual level. The more minimalism thrives, the worse it is for these companies. Take T-Mobile and all cell phone companies, for example. If consumers stop caring about keeping up with the Joneses, there will be much less demand for upgrading phones. Phones may actually be made better, so that their primary function is enhanced. Wouldn't it be nicer to have a phone that makes clear, crisp calls rather than a phone that makes crappy calls, but can get on the internet or take pictures? Granted, I love multifunctional items, but only when all the functions work well. With minimalism, you focus on less and focus on single-tasking. And that can be taken towards phones and how we use them, which gets taken back to companies. All of this will, in turn, force the companies to change their products and business structure.

We can overcome these issues. Whether it be poorly made phones or horrible service or health care or a burrito. The more we minimize our desires and stop caring about upgrading everything in life, the sooner change happens. And today, I've chosen to stop the techno-upgrade train despite T-Mobile's attempts to thwart my goals towards simpler living. I occupied T-Mobile. Victory is mine!

And what/who will you occupy today? Are you sick of being "had" by companies? Make some calls. Be persistent. Don't take no for an answer. You can do it. I know this because I am living proof. Dial away! (Oh yeah, and don't forget to comment too)

Pick Up Those Drawers!

2011-11-03T15:13:00.000-07:00

No underwear talk over here today. I'm referring drawers, like the ones in dressers or kitchen or bathrooms. They are the perfect breeding place for clutter and excess randomness. All you have to do is shove that piece of paper or twisty tie or singular trinket that is rather homeless in the drawer, and everything looks okay. But that's the thing--it's really not okay. Sure, on the surface your home may seem immaculate, but all it takes is that one little item added to the drawer to cause an explosion of the random kind.

Today, I'll expose my kitchen drawers. You will see my devotion to organizers. And my abundance of cooking utensils. Oh yeah, and if you're still thinking this post is about undies, you can go clean up that drawer too. Our dressers are a different story for a different day, but still share the same message. That message? You can never be too organized. Or can you? You be the judge!

Welcome to my five kitchen drawers.

In drawer #1: Spices & mishmash (matches, cupcake liners, hand sanitizers, lighter, citrus/bug-be-gone wipes, and frosting decorators)... and a lone flashlight

Drawer #2: Scrubby ol' oven mitts, chip clips, containers for rubber bands & twisty ties, meat thermometer, silicone trivet, rubber gripper, and popsicle maker with extra sticks

Drawer #3: General silverware and grill utensils

Drawer #4: 2 whisks, colander spoon, rolling pin, two sets of salad forks (sentimental), cooking utensils, can opener, food processor extras, and garlic press (by far the BEST kitchen tool)

Drawer #5: Plastic wrap, wax paper, measuring spoons & cups, cookie cutters, can lid (essential if you use canned pet food), mixer attachments, bottle opener, citrus peeler, spatula, veggie peeler, pizza cutter (works great for cutting brownies or cakes), bread knife, and serving utensils.

And those are our drawers. Do we have more than we need? Probably. Do we use everything? Most of the time. Do I want to pare down? Absolutely. Which items would you fore-go?

So what's in your kitchen drawers? Are they ready to explode? Do you too have a love of drawer organizers? Are you inspired to tackle a drawer or two today? Let's share!

Stranded: November's Challenge Du Mois

2011-11-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

October brought social isolation whether I had hoped it would or not. Without FaceBook and other forms of electronic connectivity, I felt pretty stuck and alone at times last month. However, it was all my doing. I could've left the house more frequently and actually, you know, became a part of the general society.

Well, what a better way to do that than to reduce our vehicular consumption. November brings on the month of being a one car household. And how does this exactly encourage me to become a contributing member to society? Ok, it does and does not. My goal is that it should push me to start walking more. If we're out walking more then we can take advantage of the parks and library within a half mile radius. Yep, we live in a suburban family's paradise--a Starbucks on almost every mile marker (no joke! I Googled it, and we have 20 within a 5 mile radius), four schools within walking distance, every grocery store you could ever need within a 3 mile radius (several Fry's, Safeway, Basha's, Trader Joe's, Sprouts, Whole Foods, farmer's market, Albertson's), and almost every type of restaurant and service just a stone's throw away. Where's the need for a vehicle then?

The answer is simple: laziness. Okay that and about half of the year is over 100 degrees--meaning biking or walking anywhere with two toddlers equates to torture. With the temperature finally below 90 on a regular basis, I figured it was time. Time to take advantage of this suburban "paradise." Time to get my butt out of the house and test the Chariot's full powers. Time to live in the parks. Time to put myself in check and live up to my values.

Those powers that be? I guess there was little faith in me. Maybe they saw my efforts or lack there of for no phone and internet weeks. Maybe a higher deity knows my laziness knows no bounds. Whichever option is truth, we came to find that my ghetto-fied car didn't just need to be realigned like we had hoped. It needs another $400 of parts and is unsafe to drive until The Hubs finds the time to get to work and put the ghetto mobile in child-safe order. So truthfully, week one of One Car Family is said and done. Granted, I hope to prolong this little experiment for all of November, but we'll see how restless and lazy I am.

Ok, so now onto the fun part of the why's. Why go down to one car? Here are some reasons:

If you just have one car...

-You have to try out other forms of transportation. We do have a bus near us, but the only problem is that the Chariot won't fit on it. Otherwise, we've got legs for walking and the trusty Chariot. Currently, we don't own any bikes (other than Noah's PINK twelve incher), so riding anywhere is not an option unless we want to invest in a bike AND trailer. Those will surely cost more than the car repairs.

-You can save money. No extra car registration. No extra car to pay repair fees and maintenance fees for. Then there's the biggest cost of extra gas. With gas costing about $3.25/gallon here, that means it costs $50-60 to fill up each car, which is done about every other week. Potentially, gas alone could save us $100+ per month. Insurance for one car could also be less. However, we have the lowest possible coverage with two cars. If we had just one car, we'd get better coverage since there would be no other car to fall back on, and there would be no price difference (we did this for awhile when we moved back to Phoenix).

-You lose a lot more time getting places. And this is my biggest hang up in it all. On days when Noah has school & The Hubs works, I have to drop him off at work in order to have a car to get Noah to and from school. Thus meaning, I have to wake myself and children up early. And the three of us? We are NOT morning people. When we have just one car, there is much more driving back and forth. Not to mention that walking, biking, and buses take much, much longer than just hopping in your car and jetting off to your destination. Since I'm an efficiency addict, I have a hard time coming to grips with all the time that will be "wasted."

-You get to call yourself a green champion! Cars are often seen as a deep root of the Earth-ruining evils. Assuming we actually drive less and use less gas, we'll be lowering our ecological footprint. And telling the oil companies to shove it (well partially).

There you have it--saving money and the Earth, losing valuable time, and building a stronger relationship and appreciation for our suburban community. All brought to you by a broken car.

So how about you? Are you a one car family? If not, have you ever tried living on one car for a period of time? Let's chat! Leave a comment below :)

The Grinch Struck Again!

2011-10-31T22:55:00.000-07:00

Remember how I boldly stated that I was indeed a Halloween Grinch? Well, I was apparently so horrible that our family warranted a Grinchy attack back. Let's start at the beginning.

Our Halloween night started off simply. I put out this display as we would be out trick or treating and unable to hand items out personally.

A simple design. Pumpkin note re-purposed from a preschool project. The Angry Birds pig pumpkin handed down by my sister (it was part of a work pumpkin display contest), and a bowl full of stickers and temporary tattoos. Not a fancy display, but a minimalist one. And free. You can't go wrong with free.

Display out, my sister helped wrangle the minions into their costumes and off we went in the Chariot.

A stop at Grandma's house to pick up a wagon, then the trick or treating was on. For once I was prepared and made some small fliers and signs to let neighbors know about our trick or treating for charity.

Thankfully most houses were surprised, but helpful. One such neighbor was in such a helpful spirit he even tried to pick me up by offering me a beer. I declined his generous offer, but accepted a can of green chiles instead. On we rolled through the "rich" neighborhood (our old community borders half million+ custom homes). A wagon full of canned goods. Two exuberant toddlers. A tired aunt/sister. And one proud mommi.

The happiness continued to exude through every step until we reached the front door. Something looked off. What was missing? Chair? Check. Sign? Check. Bowl, now mostly empty? Check. Piggy pumpkin? PIGGY PUMPKIN?!

And we had been the targets of another Halloween Grinch. Was it a mad child or parent getting payback for a lack of candy? Was it a foolish teenager giving in to peer pressure? Was it a goblin or ghost or black cat?

We may never know the answer of such a mystery. All I do know is that a certain three year old is crushed. At three, he had to learn what being violated feels like. "Why mean man take piggy pumpkin? Aunt Katie/Mommi/Grandma, you go get pumpkin back! Why there mean people? I'm so sad. I miss piggy pumpkin." His heart was broken. I could not understand more. It's not that an item is missing. It's the fact that someone felt the need to steal it.

Maybe we got what was coming to us for my Grinchy ways. Maybe some family really needed that mini pumpkin for nourishment. Maybe there are just some super-douchey people out there. Whatever the case may be, I now have a son with a vendetta. 38 cans for the food bank, a few pieces of allergen-free goodies, and a faceless enemy.

Will this setback deter us next year? Will the awkwardness of trying to explain our charitable intentions keep us home bound? At the moment, my heart is torn. I'm overwhelmed by the willing participation of the neighbors, but hurt by the thievery. There are 365 days to figure this out and let this fresh wound heal. Tonight, I start healing with some confiscated candy.

How was your Halloween? Did you do an alternative trick or treating method? Were there any shenanigans at your house?

P.S. Does anyone else think candy is not as good as we remember it to be as a child? Now that I'm back on dairy and making up for five years of no candy, I'm finding that the taste is bland. Am I alone in this?

____________________________________________________________________________________

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post--November's Challenge Du Mois!

F-U, FB!

2011-10-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Alas, it's the end of October. A week free of TV & Netflix. A sort of week free of a cell phone. And a partial week void of the internet. Best of all, I was off of FaceBook for the ENTIRE month.

No cheats. Strong withdrawals. Missing Friends. Frantic fingers begging to type in "fac..."

But then the cravings subsided and relief set in. I wasn't keeping up with my eighty or so friends every minute of my waking hour. Frankly, I no longer care. This is not to say that I no longer care about my friends, but I now understand why The Hubs has no desire to do anything on FaceBook. It's easy to get caught up on little things. It's easy to get too involved.

However, I didn't get this the first few weeks of the experiment. I was frantic, to say the least. What if I missed something important? What if I was considered a "bad" friend now because I stopped commenting on every freaking thing, which I felt immensely compelled to do in order to "prove" my level of devotion to the friendship. And conversely, that's how I judged certain friendships at times. Oh Sue hasn't commented on anything I've posted in days, but she's updating her status several times a day and commenting on other friends' posts. She must not like me. My feeling of self-worth was dumbly wrapped up in who did and did not respond to me on a social networking site. Sad, isn't it? Since I removed that source of ego-boosting, I felt lost.

How did I overcome it then? I mean, I've been a FaceBook addict for several years. How can one quit cold turkey and not feel crushed when their daily boost is eliminated? It all came from a FaceBook e-mail. As those of you on FaceBook know, there have been a ton of recent changes. One such change is that you receive fewer e-mails. Now, a weekly e-mail is sent out reminding you of updates and notifications. What totally rubbed me the wrong way in that first e-mail? I was told that I was missing important information from friends, like Sue commented on Beth's picture. Are you f-ing kidding me?! A friend commented on a different friend's picture, and this was Earth-shattering news?! How could my life be going on when I was missing out on friends commenting on other friends' posts?! THE HORROR! Needless to say, a bitter taste was left in my mouth. Then came the e-mails to The Hubs who rarely, if ever, checks FaceBook (or his e-mail for that matter). He was receiving frequent e-mails about how he should sign in because he's been gone for a long time and is also missing out on the most important happenings ever! No need for strike three because that strike two was a double whammy. Seriously, FaceBook, stop harassing your users to check your site out more often. That's extremely daft.

From those two e-mails, I went on no longer feeling my fingers hang over the letter "f". I moved on from social networking. I moved towards finding ways to create and strengthen friendships outside of such a site. I moved towards finding value in friends away from how often they commented on rather ridiculous and overly-abundant updates. I lived life and formed relationships the way people have done for millions of years. Granted, e-mailing and calling people are extremely useful, but I still prefer seeing friends and family in person. I now get why and how so many people can live without the aid of FaceBook. Being with people just feels better.

Will I return? Unfortunately, yes. I'm a part of a pre-school co-op that is ONLY on FaceBook. If I want to attend events or know about them, then I have to be on FaceBook. Then there are the close friends and relatives that I enjoy getting quick updates from since our chances to meet in person are few and far between. Overall, my plan is to be on FaceBook the least amount of time possible. I will allow myself to not comment on every single thing. I will be ok when I don't comment on anything or when people don't comment on things I post. And that posting I'll be doing? MUCH less. Fewer pictures. Fewer status updates. Fewer "liking" of pages. I'm hoping to use the damn site infrequently and continue to move forward with REAL life.

Finally, as for the other two sites I tried, Twitter and Google+, I'm truly not a fan of either. I don't get them. They don't share the appeal that FaceBook has. And I generally feel over all social networking sites as they seem to divert my attention from real life socializing. I'll still keep the accounts, but only plan to use them for blog stuff.

Connecting--I'm learning how to do just that. FaceBook can be a tool just as Twitter and Google+ can be, but I firmly believe they come at the larger cost of not teaching us real, in person social skills. There's often a lot of feelings and emotions wrapped up in who did and who did not say X,Y,Z. When you take away the superfluous social networking sites and take those lists of "friends" to your real life, it's often extremely apparent what level of relationship you have with certain people. Business associate. Acquaintance. Friend. Relative. To have all of that in one site hinders our ability to filter ourselves and share ourselves exactly how we want. Why not leave that for phone calls or e-mails? Or you can always avoid putting anything on those sites or create intricate lists to only share certain information with certain people, but that's a lot of work. For me, I'll just plan to put myself out there via Ye Olde Blog. Want to know what I'm thinking or feeling or what's happening in my life? Read here. Otherwise, I'll see close friends and family on FaceBook as a simple means to keep in touch with weddings and babies and to be a part of our co-op group.

Conclusion: Real relationships win in this growing battle between virtual and in-person relationships.

What are you thoughts on social networking? Do you have a favorite site? Do you over-share? Do you avoid sharing anything? Let's chat!

How the Grinch Stole Halloween

2011-10-29T11:03:00.000-07:00

You're a mean one, Minimalist Mommi.
You won't give kids candy.
You're a grump at Halloween.
You are nothing but a Grinch.
Minimalist Mommi!

Cue musical interlude here.

Can you tell that I'm not a big fan of Halloween? Well, this wasn't always the case. In fact, I used to look forward to Halloween every year. I had a dedicated pillowcase for candy. Over-thought costume ideas all year long (the best over-thought one? A dead punk rock cheerleader). And I was such a trick or treating addict that my mother made me sign a legally binding document stating that, at 15, this would be my last year of accumulating mass amounts of candy for free. I think I came away with twenty pounds of candy that year.

So if I was such a lover of a glorious free holiday, why do I despise it so much now as an adult?! Oh, where to begin! I think once I became a poor college student, I wasn't a fan of feeling like I had to buy candy to hand out to kids who didn't need it. I'd rather be eating that candy myself. Candy glutton, thy name is Megyn. Then The Hubs and I went through a pretty religious phase where Halloween was evil. Wiccans practicing their faith en masse a solitary day per year. The devil's work! Once we came back down to reality, I started considering why we celebrate anything. What are the origins? Why are these traditions important? I couldn't come up with much for Halloween. Generally, trick or treating was done by the poor in return for prayers or to appease the dead to keep them from harassing the living. Knowing this, I didn't see much of a point in my kids taking part in such an activity. We didn't need to barter food for prayers and had no concern of paying off the dead with candy. So why take part? Tradition! Said in my best Fiddler on the Roof impression.

Tradition. Everyone is big on good ol' traditions. Myself included. Once we had these kiddos, our families were quite unhappy with our choice to avoid Halloween. "But it's not religious," they touted. "They're so cute in costumes," they begged. "Think of all the candy I could eat," I pondered. But three years came and went. No Halloween for us.

Since The Hubs has been getting more lax on these sort of matters, I convinced him to allow the boys to trick or treat. Be part of the system/peers/country. Slowly, he agreed. What he wasn't so happy with was that I would not allow the boys to trick or treat for candy. "What's the point then?! Can't they have ANY fun?!" he angrily asked. I was confused. He wasn't a fan of participating in Halloween, but as soon as I mention doing it for a cause, I'm the bad guy?! I didn't get it. But again slowly, he came around and agreed it would be okay with him. He was working that night anyhow, so it's not like he would have to help out. My Grinchy heart was opening.

Now, I'm sure you're all wondering what's the deal then. Why no candy? Here are my reasons:

1. Most candy is full of crap I don't want in my kids' bodies or in anyone's body, for that matter. Even organic candy is full of sugar. Toddlers + loads of sugar = pure chaos. To help other families avoid such a scenario, we are giving out temporary tattoos and stickers.

2. Gluttony. There, I said it. Most I knew when growing up were competitive with how much candy they could gather. This event is more about who has the most and less about the experience. I'm trying to avoid teaching the boys to "keep up with the trick or treating Joneses."

3. Trash. All of those miniature candies come with a lot more trash than food. And those little wrappers are far from biodegradable. I'd like to not add to the problem under the guise of tradition.

4. Expectations without work. Trick or treating implies that you complete a trick in order for a treat. Heck, we make our pets go for this. Operant conditioning. On Halloween, kids just expect that they should be able to knock on anyone's door and be handed a treat for no reason other than that they look cute. What is this teaching kids? That they are owed such things because it's a certain day of the year? I remember trick or treating and being mad when a house wouldn't answer or lights were off. Where was my damn Reese's cup?! I really don't want my kids to grow up with that sense of entitlement that I had.

5. The fair-trade debate. You see, most chocolate companies do not purchase fair-trade cocoa. Thus, most of the chocolate being handed out comes from child-labor. So little kids are put to work so that more privileged kids can go door to door and demand yummy treats harvested by the poor kids. Doesn't seem quite fair, does it?

With all of the Grinch-esque beliefs around trick or treating, why did I fight to participate? I want my kids to have a fun life. I want them to feel included and not ostracized for being "different." And really, kids are freaking cute in their little costumes. Even I still love to dress up. But the best part? Getting to know your neighbors. It's the one day of the year where people are friendly and talk to one another. Granted I wish this happened more frequently, but I'll take one day over zero days.

So what is our plan if I'm so anti-candy then? We are trick or treating for non-perishable items to donate to the trusty food bank. The boys (ok, Noah) will have small little fliers to hand neighbors about our quest. My sister will be pushing the boys in the chariot while I pull the wagon of donated goodies. To give the Elephant and Dragon/Firefighter (waiting to see what he'll put up with) some incentive, they know that they get to pick out their very own treats once done. To Whole Foods we shall venture for fair-trade, allergen-free, reduced to no packaging deliciousness.

Morality and ethics in hand, we shall conquer Halloween.

What are your thoughts on Halloween and trick or treating? Are you participators or Grinches? Let's share!

99%-No Internet Week

2011-10-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

I SURVIVED!

Okay, I survived on 1% of the interwebz. Let's just delve right in, shall we?

I should preface this by saying that I love to plan things, events, parties, etc. I suck at planning out details of my own day-to-day life. That being said, day 1 was a bust from the start. I awoke and curbed my immediate desire to hop online as I always did. Wake up. Stumble out to the couch. Get kids drinks. Open the computer. And live online for about an hour or as long as kids would let me. I resisted that temptation initially. But then I looked at the calendar and noticed the date. Crap. I had to pay the water bill. And since we opted into receiving our bill electronically, I couldn't just write a check and pop it in the mail. Begrudgingly, I logged on. In the midst of bill paying, I then remembered that all this cooking and baking I had planned to fill my days with required recipes--recipes which I had found through Googling and had forgotten to write down. Diversion number two. Thankfully, my day one cheating took all of ten minutes. With that done, I was able to stay offline for the remainder of the day.

Day two came, and I was slightly hopeful. I was expecting an important e-mail. The Hubs, the team player that he is, was kind enough to check my e-mail. No important e-mail today, and I stayed off Webby. Well, day three came and The Hubs wasn't home to live vicariously through. Again, with my lack of planning skills, I had forgotten to map a friend's address for a birthday party that day. My sister cheated for me and texted me directions. Two days of cheating by association. Day four was a complete success with no one at my beck and call. I wasn't perfect thus far, but it was better than expected.

Welcome, day five or the day or toddler mayhem. You know how a certain little someone thwarted my no phone week by plummeting off the trampoline? Well, he thought he needed to thwart my efforts yet again by slipping in the shower at such an angle that a resident comb impaled his upper eye. Blood flowing, I grabbed the little guy, threw on a towel, cleaned it up, and called The Hubs. This is when having an EMT for a husband comes in handy. The phone photo didn't show up too well, and I didn't like his initial response of head to urgent care, so I called the pediatrician. The nurse advised us to head to the ER. I liked that option even less. A half hour had passed, and this flesh wound was still a'flowin'. I could head to the urgent care or ER and wait forever. I could head to the fire station where The Hubs works. Or I could get out the camera, take a picture of the ghastly sight, e-mail it to The Hubs, and get a faster, easier professional opinion. Option #3 it was! After showing the photo around the station, it was determined by the house to take the little bruiser to urgent care. Thankfully, our urgent care has call ahead, so I had to use the good ol' web yet again to get their number. One e-mail and one phone-number. Caving in yet again, but at least this was for a just cause.

The arrival of busy, but calmer day six was more than welcomed. One check of the e-mail because super important e-mail finally came in. The rest of the day was spent visiting relatives, freaking out about money, and cursing my car that is always broken. Finally, day seven emerged much faster than expected. I officially said F-it and gave in to my addiction. I was home alone. There was a pile of work needing to be done with the use of the internet. I was stressed to the core. I needed ~~a smoke~~ perusing my e-mail. Granted, I spent less time on the computer for day seven than I generally do in one hour, but the addict won over.

Is this a success? My sister says not. In my oppositional manner, I disagree. You see, I'm a (slightly) recovering internet addict. I have been known to have my computer open from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. E-mail checks? Over 100. Refreshing pages? Hundreds of times. My name is Megyn, and I'm an internet addict. See, I've got that first step down. This whole "no internet" step two was severely needed. My good friend ADHD became obsessed with its relationship to Webby. It was a match made in heaven. Constant change available. Constant opportunity to redirect attention. Constant flow of information. Constant updates. There's always something new up Webby's sleeve. And my ADHD brain stared in amazement. As much as my ADHD has helped me, this Webby relationship was not working in my favor. Wise Mind had to step in and order a break up. Obviously, it wasn't a complete cold turkey break up, but reducing my Webby consumption by 99% is pretty damn good for one week of work.

As you can tell, this little experiment wasn't to see if I could live without the internet. It was to see if I could stop that addiction to form a healthier relationship. I think I got that. I spent my time singing randomly made up songs with toddlers, snuggling on the couch giddily watching Greek, baking my ass off for the guys at the station, getting goofy with a petite pup, and just enjoying some tidbits of life that often go ignored.

Tidbits like this gush of lovin'...

Or a gift from a preschooler...

Or beautiful littering of my favorite tree.

Besides a sense of relief that comes from stopping an addiction or compulsion, I came to realize just how heavily I rely on Webby. The internet is basically a one-stop shop for everything I need: a bank, cookbook, friend, school, news source, workplace, radio, map, phone book, doctor, store, photo album, phone, book, and community. With all of that enclosed in my little laptop, it's even more apparent how I was able to spend so much time in such an application. Despite it serving a multifunctional purpose, I realized that the majority of what eats up my time is trying to keep up some semblance of human relationships and life. When I want to avoid my real life, I turn to my virtual life. It seems much better than what's actually going on. So I worked on that this past week--changing my real life to resemble this more "perfect" virtual life. Real, in person relationships were much harder to mold than what I've "created" online. I missed my readers and e-mail/IM pals. But growing those relationships with my kids and husband will surely pay off in greater amounts in the long run. A bloggy pal in Australia is harder to get to in a crisis than The Hubs is. Right now, as hard as it is, real life is trumping Webby. It has to.

But I'm still back. Still using the crutch that the virtual world has to offer (and thankfully so!). Just trying not to rely on it as much. As much as I love you all, some rowdy boys require some attention. Webby, you're on the back burner. And just know, all you amazing readers, that despite me not being around as much, I love you all. I'm still listening/reading. Pinky swear.

Stay tuned for a post on my Grinch-esque Halloween and a No FaceBook recap.
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P.S.-- Thanks for all the help on the phone situation! We ended up ditching text messaging. I'm going to miss it, but paying for health insurance (a story for a different day) is trumping my qwerty keyboard.

The Other Half- Q&A post

2011-10-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

In my quest to create a few posts for "No Internet" week, I asked all you lovely readers to ask some questions for a Q&A post. Despite only one question being asked, it is an amazing topic worthy of a post devoted entirely to the subject. So what is this question?

Asked by Bec B: How do you get the hubby to join you on your minimalist journey? Has it created problems? Brought you closer?

The relationship between husband and wife is a delicate balance. The Hubs and I are two extremes. I'm the bossy, dominant one. He's the laid-back, relaxed one. For years, I was willingly handed the reigns. I had my whip handy at all times and kept this coach a movin'. In this coach, minimalism sat. I drove it around as my trusty stead obliged and followed orders.

And this is the story of our relationship from the time we moved in together until almost a year ago. Due to The Hubs' apathetic nature and my overwhelmingly loud voice, I got quite used to getting what I wanted. My goals towards minimalism were rarely questioned. I bought what I wanted. Kept what I wanted. Got rid of what I wanted. And the only time I received any bucking from that trusty stead was when it involved his stuff.

Let's discuss The Hubs' "stuff" strategy before we delve any further. When we met my senior year of high school (and his year of "going to college" aka ditching class), The Hubs was still living at home in his childhood room. You were fortunate if you opened the door and could see a speck of the floor. Typical college boy to say the least. When I visited his house, I was often found picking up his room. Big mistake. Let's just say that this man still has yet to learn the phrase "clothes hamper." Fast forward to our marriage a year and a half later. Right after getting hitched, we moved a hundred miles away to our first place truly together. Pre-marital counseling didn't quite cover decorating, but thankfully, we were pretty much on the same page. Our tiny apartment could've been right out of the Ikea catalog. Plus, seeing as how we were both living at home right before getting married, we didn't have a lot to take with us. Minimalism was easy in the beginning. We didn't have a lot. We were the usual poor college kids. And I had almost full control of the house.

So what changed? Kids. Our minimalist house became instantaneously cluttered with everything "baby." I got overwhelmed. Life got overwhelming. More "stuff" commitments. More time commitments. More arguments. More money worries. Marriage, as we knew it, had changed the instant that little guy came screaming out of the birth canal.

With all the stress the kids bring (unplanned children nonetheless), our relationship needed to change. Our extremes were becoming more pronounced and anger-inducing. Things had to change or we had to move on. This is when my inherent need for minimalism was questioned. His aesthetics are different than mine. I could live in a sleeping bag. He requires a mattress and frame. I got rid of the throw pillows. He claims our house looks bare and that of a "poor" person. The real feelings finally emerged. I gripped the reigns tighter, not willing to compromise. I pushed on. Told him he had to get rid of X amount of things. Told him to suck it up, it's my house. I'm the one home all day cleaning, so I get the say unless he wants to start taking the initiative to clean. I wasn't used to this sort of resistance from the surfer-esque dude.

Welcome today. We're working on respecting and accepting the other person's needs and feelings when it comes to stuff. I took a back seat and said okay to him keeping the snowboard and books that haven't been touched in years. He agreed to give me almost full control over what we do in the bedroom (not like that, y'all. Furniture). And we talk a lot. This is probably my doing, but he's finding his voice and opinion through it all. We both seem happier. Balance seems within reach.

Other than the what stays and what goes dilemma, there's the money. This, well, this topic is still sort of a big deal. You see, The Hubs was never taught money management. I, on the other hand, have had money management shoved down my throat as soon as I could pick up a shovel to scoop poop and earn my keep. Again, two very opposite extremes. When we met, The Hubs was living the good life of partying, skipping class, and spending money like there was no tomorrow. That money, an inheritance from a deceased relative, was taken back by his parents once they saw that it might of well been toilet paper to their son. Jobless and with no direction, I took him under my wing. I willingly let him spend my hard-earned money for a bit over six months. I paid overdue phone bills. I gave him a place to live. I paid for all of our dates. I was a sugar mama.

Eventually, he shaped up and got a job. Moved back in with his parents. Started paying his own bills. Marriage happened soon after all of this, and the question of who would control finances was never disputed. Despite me paying all of our bills from his paychecks, his spending was rarely curbed. He loves to buy things on a whim and ends up coming home to a furious wife. Remember all those balancing changes we've been making? Spending is one of them. Finally, I got him to look at a chart of how we spend his income. After seven years together, I'm happy to say that he's getting it. He's consciously trying to spend less on silly things, like random gas station purchases. However, he is trying to teach me that it's okay to spend money every now and again. He over indulges. I under-indulge. Balancing each other -- that's why it's working.

And that's our ~~little~~ long story. A frugal, loud-mouthed, minimalist lady meets a spending, quiet, messy guy. Our extremes, when honed, help to make up for what the other lacks. Or as the old quote says, "You complete me." Granted, we are nowhere near completion, but hey, we're working on it.

What's your minimalist story in your relationship? Has it been hard to get your partner to jump on board? Do you have a trusty stead that grants you full use of the reigns? Let's share the ups and downs of minimalism's effect on relationships.

For Your Entertainment

2011-10-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

Adios, Interwebz. As you are reading this, I'm probably a ball of nerves fighting the urge to type in a few letters and check my e-mail/blogs/Google/etc. In my absence, I'll leave you with some other great blogs to check out!

If you're interested in reading from some other minimalist mamas, check out Minimalist Moms for recent posts from a dozen or so bloggers.

If you're into paring down, 365 Less Things can help anyone! They give great weekly challenges and often link to other related blogs dealing with the theme of the week. 100 Things 100 Days is also a massive inspiration.

If you're into more philosophical minimalism, check out The Minimalists, Zen Habits, Becoming More With Less, Miss Minimalist, and Becoming Minimalist.

If you're looking for ideas in frugality, you can't miss out on posts by The Non-Consumer Advocate, Ex-Consumer, and The Frugal Girl.

If you're in the mood for some eco-friendly ideas, Live Renewed has a weekly link up to other blogs featuring "greening it up" posts.

And here are a few that I just love in general: Minimalist Packrat, Annienygma, Baby Rabies, Rage Against the Minivan, Heir to Blair, So Much More Life, Oh Hell, I'm a Homemaker, Tasmanian Minimalist, Minimalist Woman, Little Green Village, and Unbridled Existence.

This is a short list...you should see my reader! I hope you enjoy hopping over and (hopefully) finding a new blog to love! Enjoy!

Going Steady

2011-10-19T15:54:00.000-07:00

Remember when I pimped myself out in the name of minimalism? I've been going on "dates" with the winner, Heather. I'm pretty sure she would agree that we are now "going steady."

I'm not one to philander, but I sort of enjoying messing around with Organization and De-cluttering. And Heather has been the BEST date a gal could have when it comes to these two.

If you didn't know her story, here it is. She is the mama of a three year old little guy and due with a little girl almost any day now. Her goal was to clean out her son's room to move him into their third bedroom or self described "large closet" and give his old room to their soon-to-be little gal. Add to the stress of being pregnant and needing to switch rooms, she recently found out that she if full of gallstones and has been experiencing tremendous pain. What a perfect time to step in and help!

Due to the the super-bad gallbladder pain, we had to reschedule a couple times. Two weeks ago, schedules aligned and our first date commenced. I stepped in the door and was thankful she wanted to tackle the play space first. Like most homes I know, there were toys galore. But Heather? She's a trooper. In the two hours of our first date, she filled up four trash bags full of toys to give away along with a couple bags of trash. Her head was in the game, and I have to give her serious credit for being able to make some great, quick decisions. Let's see the first date before's and after's.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

What a HUGE difference, right?! I have the strong belief that kids actually play with their toys when they are organized, easily accessible, and aren't overwhelming in amount. It's quite possible that we give our kids too many choices when it comes to toys and do so under the guise of such toys being educational. When you have less options, it forces you to be creative. When you have less toys, you allow for more concentration because you aren't distracted by all that's around you. Kids need relaxing spaces too in order to thrive. The best place to teach them to focus is at home. Heather did an amazing job creating that space for her two little ones!

Well, that first date went so beautifully that we scheduled another. Date two rolled around, and this time it was to tackle her little dude's room or soon to be little gal's room. Again, Heather might of well been a Navy Seal of De-cluttering. She owned that room. I'm pretty sure more went out than what stayed. However, unlike our first date, items in the kid's room were harder to part with. There were meaningful crib bedding sets. A stand that she spent a lot of energy and love pouring into to make it just right. Lamps given to her by important people in her life. It meant saying good-bye to the baby phase of her baby who was a soon to be big brother. As a mom, I get it. I hate realizing that life has flown by and my little seven-pounders aren't such a mini size any longer. But she fought through those tough emotions and prevailed. Again another four or five bags were put out on the curb for donation and a couple more for trash. Want some more pre & post pictures? Well here you go!

BEFORE:

AFTER:

It's amazing what people can accomplish in five short hours when they put their minds to it! Heather and I are still going strong and hope to get as much done as possible before sweet little girl makes her entrance. Doesn't she just inspire you?! If a very pregnant woman with severe gallstones who has to care for her household of fur and boys can do this, anyone can!

If you're in the Phoenix Metro area and want some help too, hit me up on e-mail (address is in the right side bar). Remember tomorrow (October 20th) starts my week of no internet. Don't worry, I'll read every email and comment once I return. And if you see posts pop up, it's because I've scheduled them. Or maybe I'm cheating. Let's hope for the former.

Enjoy this next week. Should I survive, I can't wait to catch up with you all!

Curbing Impulsiveness-No Phone Week

2011-10-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

I asked. You all obliged.

And I received some amazing feedback on the phone dilemma. If you read this post, you'd know that I was failing at giving up my phone for "No Phone Week." I had convinced myself that this phone was necessary. What was unnecessary was the fear I had about giving up my phone. FaceBook was already gone as a means of communication, and now I was taking my phone away too! What if I needed to get a hold of someone? What if someone needed to get a hold of me? What if there was an emergency? WHAT IF??? I could go down that path all day.

Since I'm trying to tackle my mental hoarding situation, I had to pitch that fear and anxiety. So, as much as people agreed it was okay if I failed, I went the other direction. This time I planned better. I sent an email out to all family members. I ignored calls and texts. I left the phone at home when I left the house. And I took a break from feeling the need to be constantly connected with people.

How did I do? Partially won. Partially failed. On day 1, I received a phone call from a weird number. I had The Hubs answer is it because we were still getting some house work done and the company was supposed to call and verify the time. The Hubs, with the phone etiquette of a donkey, just answered and shoved the phone in my direction. In one of those typical "I'm trying to be quiet so the person doesn't hear me but I really want to yell at you right now" scenarios, I tried to figure out who was calling and for The Hubs to field the call. In a surprising stubborn turn, The Hubs won and I took the call. Appointment made, the bitching commenced. I won round two.

With that over, I set the phone down and walked away. And I walked away for three whole days. E-mailed family when I needed to get a hold of them. Went without communication with The Hubs for over 24 hours when he was at work. Ignored the list of phone calls I needed to make. Anxiety and fear stayed in the trash can.

Then came day 4. With the lack of communication and having to live with only the communication between me and toddlers, I was jonesing to talk to any human adult. The Hubs returned after his day away at the ~~adult frat house~~ fire station, and for some reason (ok, exhaustion), the arguments surfaced. In a fit of anger, The Hubs bolted. And in my typical "I still have the reactions of a 15 year old girl", I broke down and tried to call him. After even more anger spewed in my direction filled with painful, but unintended words, I broke down and called my mom in a flurry of tears. Like I always do in these situations. Of course, the mama bear comes out, and my whole family quickly turns into the "let's shelter baby bear" mode. This means more calls and texts. The Hubs eventually came back. After a few days of even more exhaustion-filled arguments, things are on the mend.

I ended the rest of the week with only texting/calling The Hubs for "important" things, like when I had to drop off his pillow at work. Other than day 4 phone calls, I resorted back to e-mailing, even with my parents. This was much to my mother's chagrin as she understandably wanted the details of the days that passed after that frantic phone call. Yet, not divulging every tiny detail in those post-teenage-like-drama days felt relieving. I had time to choose my words. I had time to think about my actions. I was doing that whole growing up thing where I nix emotionality and replace it with reason and thought-out conclusions.

This is where failure works. If I hadn't broken down and used my phone, I may have never come to the realization that I need to curb my emotional impulsiveness. Pronto. It's always been known in my family that Megyn is the emotional one. And I accepted that label and just thought that's how it is. My family would have to deal with my emotional outbursts. Well, no more. Emotionality isn't bad. It allows for strong empathy skills, but it can hinder. The issue is trying to find away to allow myself to be emotional without it leading to impulsive, and often regrettable, actions. All of these life changes from making a couple phone calls. I guess you could say my little experiment worked, but with unexpected consequences. These curve balls, y'all, they're worth it.

Now that the phone is back, I'm trying to decide what to do about it. Right now, we're on a family plan with T-Mobile. 750 anytime minutes. Unlimited texting. $86.47 per month. It's still cheaper than what we were getting at Verizon, and we just found out we can get 250 more minutes a month for a penny less. But, I'm finding that I don't need all those minutes or unlimited texting. I'm even waffling a bit on whether or not to have texting at all. Some days I could do without. Other days, I gravitate to my tiny keyboard because I have to get information to someone and prefer to do so without having to yell over the screams of small children. Plus, I'm sure so many people love having a conversation with me when I'm yelling things like, "Are you done pooping yet?" or "Stop slapping your penis," or "Choking your brother's neck can kill him!" I'd like to spare everyone from that when they just need to know what time to stop by.

What are my options then since the ability to text is immensely useful? We are on the lowest minutes plan at T-Mobile. We could get rid of the texting package ($20/month) and just pay for all texts individually. We could pay to get out of our contract and move to Cricket or a pay as you go plan. All I've realized is that my phone is not worth that kind of money every month. When you leave the fear and anxiety of the "what if's," you find these companies are gouging you out of your hard earned money. I'd like to take a stance against that.

Suggestions? What cell plan do you have? Do you feel wallet-raped every month when the cell phone bill arrives? Do you experience the anxiety and fear of not being able to get a hold of someone? What's the level of importance of your phone?

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Have you left a question yet for next week's Q&A post? I'm offline starting Thursday, so bring it on!

Winner & A Hop

2011-10-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I'd like to congratulate Cookrl for winning The Portable Pediatrician by Dr. Sears. I'll be sending an e-mail soon to get your details!

Next up--I've been fortunate to write a post for Miss Minimalist's "Real Life Minimalists" series. You can check it out here. If you haven't checked out her blog yet, I suggest you do. She always brings up great topics, like religion and minimalism. Seriously, Francine and her blog are pretty amazing.

Lastly, in preparation for the soon to be "no internet" week, I was hoping to get a blog or two scheduled for that time. And I'd like to answer YOUR questions in one. Feel free to ask pretty much anything, and I promise to be completely truthful, no matter how embarrassing an answer may be. You've possibly read a lot on here, so you know I'm okay with poking fun at myself. Feel free to leave a comment below or shoot me an e-mail (minimalistmommi [at] gmail [dot] com).

Ask away!

A Break Up

2011-10-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

It's not you, it's me. Okay, let's not lie, it IS you. We're breaking up. For good! You're manipulative. You can't make me happy. And, well, it's just over.

Why is it so hard then? Why can't I take you off my mind? I miss you. But no, you have to go. Leave the death grip you have on me and go torment someone else. I swear, this time I'm moving on. Go on, now, GO!

And I left that sorry S.O.B. I finally broke off my relationship with Money.

You see, money and I have always had a very close bond. My parents instilled a strong sense of the value of a dollar. I ran with it and became immensely frugal. Extra chores for more cash to save. Predicted and actual Christmas spending logs at age twelve. Two jobs and $10K to show for it at the end of high school. I loved my dear, sweet Money. It's the one item I was comfortable hoarding. I didn't have to physically have it with me and gave it a proper home in a bank. I could continuously collect more and not lose physical space. It was a match made in heaven.

Or so I thought for the majority of my twenty-five years on this Earth. In this whole path towards a stronger sense of minimalism, my problem has never been the typical "I just can't get rid of my stuff!" That, for me, is my number one hobby. Seriously, I would go to sleepovers in elementary school and tell my friends that it would be fun to go through their rooms and reorganize and get rid of things. I'm sure you can imagine just how popular I was. Since the whole physical "stuff" was never an issue of mine, I quickly learned that all my baggage was mental. I reassessed how I spent my time, the people I had relationships with, and how I handled where my money went. This is when it got tough--the money. My hand gripped tighter on that visualized wad of savings. How could I give up my frugality? It's not to say that frugality is bad, but when you let Money rule your life and happiness, that's never good. I knew I had to loosen my grip.

In theory, it sounded easy. Just forget about the money and not focus on spending it or losing it or how much is still in savings. Just be happy that you can pay your bills and have a little saved up. That's all that matters. My brain disagreed with those statements. Ugh! I could've saved $1.47 by getting gas at Costco instead of Fry's! Those crackers were on sale at Whole Foods for $0.50 less a box! I just bought that shampoo, and now, there's a $2 off coupon! I couldn't help but obsess over those miniscule differences. I wanted to save it all! And do what with it? Just save it in that precious account watching the digits climb steadily. Hoard it forever. But the that Minimalist Voice that was growing stronger every day would not let Ol' Brain win this one. So the voice kept fighting. I donated items I might have sold. I tried to ignore all sales fliers. I tried to move on from a life where money was the main focus. Progress seemed steady, but it wasn't until this weekend where this new voice and state of mind was tested at full strength.

I had an item for sale on Ebay. A vintage, genuine python coat to be exact. My sister and I's inheritance from our deceased grandmother. A unique item that perfectly embodied my grandmother's spirit. Nostalgia faded quickly. Neither my sister nor I could fit into the coat properly. Oh yeah, and we live in a state that lives half the year in over a hundred degree weather. The need for a warm winter coat was negated. I contacted some re-sellers in our area to find that they wanted a BIG cut. Craig's List produced no hits. So, to Ebay it went. Well, I rarely do anything on there. I was an Ebay freshman. After sifting through the posting process, we waited and waited. Very few bids came in. We weren't too hopeful of meeting our minimum goal. With only ten hours left, we received an e-mail to pay us a certain amount. Granted, it was almost half of our "buy it now" price, but it met our minimum requirement. Back and forth my sister and I went. End it early? Take the gamble ad possibly get less? The sure thing it would be! We accepted the bidder's offer and ended the sale early. Apparently that was a huge mistake. I received e-mails from other bidders, well watchers at the time, of how they would have paid significantly more. My old money-lovin' brain was in a tizzy. It's not like we couldn't use the money. And the difference meant a few weeks more of grocery money. Fretting, I contacted the agreed upon buyer about the situation. Meanwhile, another possible bidder kept e-mailing, begging me to sell the coat to her. And the difference in tone between the winning bidder and the procrastinator bidder was drastic. In the end, I decided to take the significantly lower bid due to the kindness of the buyer.

Good Ol' Brain? She was hatin' on this decision. Minimalist Voice shut her the fudge up. Like for good. When I chose kindness and honesty over money, I won. I know Money's arms are long and strong. I have no doubt that Money will lure me back. But Minimalist Voice, she's a bitch. And she doesn't take no for an answer. Happiness is a much stronger motivator than money, so that will be a great addition in Minimalist Voice's arsenal.

Today, a win. Tomorrow, I expect Money to move on taking Ol' Brain with him. And if you meet Money or he has already graced your life, tell him to keep moving. It's truly the only way we can move toward better lives.

So, what's your relationship like with Money? Do you squeeze every penny or let those pennies go faster than a hummingbird's wings? Or are you balanced--keep Money in your life, but don't love or hate him, just letting him be? Let's talk!

That One's TOO Big!

2011-10-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

When we were house hunting last year, we had many things on our must list. 3 bedrooms. 2 bathrooms. A decent sized yard. A garage. No pool. Good counter space in the kitchen. The one aspect I didn't really care too much about? Closets.

Maybe I should have cared about them because we were dealt an odd hand. Our master closet has been remodeled. The thing takes up almost a quarter of our room. On top of that, whoever completed the work did a shoddy job. We knew it was an area that would need renovation. It was at the top of my list. The Hubs? Well, he doesn't share my disdain about it. It holds our clothes and such. We have room for our bed. But to me, our diamond shaped closet is an omen for clutter. Three sets of shelving. Four poles for hangers. And enough floor space to add even more furniture. None of which we need. And here's why...

We don't even come close to filling it. It's sheer dead space that could be back in our bedroom. Our bed could be moved away from the awkward spot it is now. I could put our dresser in the closet to make even more free space for playing, dancing, yoga, or whatever else. I'm a minimalist stuck with a consumerist-sized closet.

So what would you do? Live with it? Tear it down and rebuild it to the original layout? Thankfully, the labor is generally free thanks to overly generous family. All we would need to pay for are the building materials, which wouldn't be much at all (like between $100-300 depending on how fancy we wanted to get). Thoughts?

P.S.- I'll go into the organization in a later post. Like the rainbow order of clothes and special colored hangers because I'm OCD like that.___________________________________________________________________________________

Hey you! Yeah, YOU! Have you entered to win a copy of Dr. Sears' The Portable Pediatrician? The answer is probably no, you have not. How do I know? Because there are TWO entries. This means your chances are pretty dang good. You should go enter, like now, before it's over.

Perspective

2011-10-12T15:38:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about our closet today, but instead, I'm taking a little detour. I recently read this post by Katy over at Non-Consumer Advocate. I entered a simple comment. What came after was completely unexpected.

I battled with typed word, trying to keep my ground. I couldn't, wouldn't back down from my stance. After all, I was pretty sure I wasn't the demon/monster/mooch/lazy-ass person I was being made out to be. So I typed and typed and typed some more. Them fightin' words. Inner B could be held back no longer despite trying to keep her hidden. And then, after a brief discussion with The Hubs, I got it. I understood their anger and frustration. Granted, I felt it was a bit misplaced, but still I saw their point. Let's further discuss this topic because I firmly believe all of our opinions matter. And go...

Ok, so a little background if you didn't read Katy's post. She kindly asked for sneaky/creative ways to add some income. Many people wrote how they did odd jobs or resold items. I added in a part in my comment about government-funded programs. You don't necessarily get cash, but you do reap some sort of benefit that will save you money or in our case, increase home value. I further went on to discuss how we had been accepted into a weatherization program where the goal was to help low-income families complete some simple money saving projects to continuously reduce their electric bills. I didn't think much of it at the time. Maybe we'd get approved, and even if we did, it probably only meant a few sunshades for the windows, weather-stripping, and CFL bulbs. What we received went above and beyond all of our wildest dreams. Duct worked replaced. A new air conditioner with heat pump (a necessity when you have 100+ degree weather almost half the year), sunshades, extra insulation, and a jumper duct system. Shock--that's how to explain how I felt when we were told by the program's assessment team what they would be doing to our house. It felt like too much, but I also didn't want/know how to shoot a gift horse in the mouth. So we very graciously accepted while still believing this could NOT be true!

Work is now almost complete, and we're still in shock. I commented about this on Katy's post because I truly wanted to help others. If we were able to be so fortunate, all I wanted was for others to benefit from such programs as well. What I received in reply were a lot of comments on how our family is mooching off the system or how it's a waste of their tax-payer dollars or how could I even be calling myself a minimalist! Bring on shock stage two. However, unlike the first experience when I was left speechless, I had nothing but words to spew this time. And I did.

This is where the discussion comes in. Initially, I thought the responders were just acting in mean, hateful ways. I tried to sift through it to get to the core of the issue. The money. Many felt that using tax-payer money was a misallocation of funds. If they couldn't afford a new A/C why should I get one for free because I'm poor? Why do I even need air conditioning when it's not even a necessity? Why was I such a free-loader and living a good life off of other people's dime? I tried to answer their questions honestly, openly, and with Inner B on a tight leash. I tried to explain that where we live, A/C is pretty much a necessity. Every summer we hear of heat-related deaths when power goes out. It's sad, but true. I know there are many people in other countries and in the distant past who live/lived in similar climates and survived just fine. However, here in the US, we are used to a higher standard of living and want to ensure every single person, no matter their income, can live comfortably and without the threat of inclement weather. Thus, I understand that ideal of it not being a necessity to some. However, I didn't quite comprehend how our family having air-conditioning made me any less of a minimalist.

As for the tax-payer money, this has been and probably always will be a heated debate. I thought and thought and thought about this one. I have a couple answers. Firstly, the general reason why we all pay taxes is because we, as a whole, are selfish and do not give enough to ensure everyone is fed, clothed, and sheltered. Harsh, but sadly true. I also find it interesting that the people who give the most in terms of percentage of what they bring in and what they donate are those who are poor. Also, if you think about it, we have been paying state taxes for over ten years each. If you added up all that money, it may cover a huge chunk of what we received for "free". In essence, we are paying for our home improvements, but in a roundabout manner. Finally, the whole issue of my tax-payer dollars. We have little to no control over that. I highly doubt this program is funded by much, if any, direct tax-payer money. A lot of it comes from grants (and many grants are funded by companies despite being under a governmental guise). Another large portion comes from the privately owned utility companies. I find it interesting that we are all so worried about where our money is going when we pay taxes, yet very few of us (myself included) take any action to see where they are going. Very few step into the political arena as a protestor, lobbyist, or politician to enact change. And that's the part that pisses me off the most. Stop complaining and take action. Our country tends to be a bunch of selfish whiners who spend a lot of time and energy complaining and little doing anything about the issue at hand. Harsh again, I know. But as the old adage says, the truth hurts.

On a final point, I had a lot of people insinuating that our family was just mooching off the system. I like to call these people Republicans or Conservatives. Maybe they are far from it, but that's generally what I hear from those groups of people (not a Conserv-Repub hater, just a trend I noticed. There are good Conserv-Repubs out there, I'm sure of it. I just need to actually meet more). From what I gathered, a lot of people have had it hard. It often seems unfair when someone gets a leg up and you've had to work your butt off for everything you have. What I don't get is why others assume we are just lazy because we received an overly generous gift. If you've been a long time reader, you surely know that my husband works his ass off as an EMT. He has a gruesome job that pays nickels and takes him away from home for long hours. I doubt the majority of people would like to put themselves in his shoes. Being an actual hero is a hard, thankless job, so to have others naively call our family lazy leaves a painful mark. This is why I was extremely hesitant to write the Upper Poor Class post. Disdain and hate fills the air when people mention that they are receiving help. I'm unsure why others feel the need to belittle some for getting help, but all I can imagine is that it comes down to selfishness. It's a hard rope to walk--help others or help ourselves. Hopefully, our society can get to a point where we just become happy that ANYONE is getting help, that our government is doing ANYTHING to help those lower on the financial totem pole. That's how I feel anyway. Call me a socialist or whatever, but I'm just thankful that people who need food, clothing, shelter, and improved shelter have options.

And that's the tale. I get their frustration at the system. I get the envy and jealousy of another getting something for free that you want, but can't afford. I understand how hard the majority of us work for the little that we have. I get what these people are saying. But is it right to take it out on the messenger? Is it right to take it out on someone who did their homework and found a way to help their family? Personally, I think not.

To end this, I'll leave you with a bit of possible hypocrisy. Whilst I was being alluded to as a huge mooch and lazy and someone feeding off the good of others, I found many who said they would easily resell goods for a decent profit. This, to me, seems a bit amoral. From my perspective, buying an item at a dirt cheap price then reselling it for ten times more is playing another human being for a fool. The Hubs tried to convince me that this is just the way the system is. Yet, at a direct level, people are buying into it. I know I did. I've purchased a few items to only resell them later for a profit. Truthfully? I felt pretty miserable every time I did this. Every single time, I felt like I was scamming people. Items have value, even monetary value, because we allow them to. When we buy things super cheap and resell them, we are essentially buying into the idea that someone other than us is dumb enough to pay an exorbitant amount of money for a silly product. Thus, the cycle continues of consumerism and buying into hot commodities. Make sense? A bit hypocritical of the people saying I was devious when they were acting in devious ways themselves (at least in my eyes)?

Let's talk. What are your thoughts on these sorts of partially government funded programs? What are your thoughts on reselling items? As much as I LOVE reading all the different perspectives, let's all agree to try and keep our Inner B's at bay and keep this thing as civil as possible. And go!

When the Demon Emerges

2011-10-10T23:21:00.000-07:00

I'm warning y'all--this post is intended for female audiences. Only brave males need to read on. As for those with prudish undertones or those who are my family members, be aware this may just qualify as TMI. And with that, my non-emo post shall begin.

Women. We all know that "time of the month" chat. How our bodies will change. What to expect. Special "tools" to get us through this treacherous week every single month. From the time we are about ten years old, we are told to fear this week, consider it war, and clear our minds of any thing we may say or do during this battle. And we buy into it, myself included. Often, we use our periods as an excuse to eat junk food or act bitchy. Frankly, I'm sort of okay with that. What I'm not okay with is the other demon lurking for women in regards to their monthly cycle.

The big ol' O. OVULATION.

Well, most of us ladies are well medicated by the age where hormones and boys are raging. Thus, we never get to really experience what our cycles are like in the real world. I know I sure didn't. I happily swallowed a tiny synthetic hormone pill daily just to make life a little bit easier. I didn't want to claw out everyone's eyes a certain week every month. I didn't need to stay in ball formation in order to avoid intense pain. I didn't cry uncontrollably for no reason. I was just a normal gal secretly winning the hormonal battle. And I was winning that battle for years until my body started another fight deciding birth control was indeed the enemy not the savior.

So I stopped taking it. Miraculously, I felt better. It seemed in line with my whole natural, holistic approach to life. I could add in the minimalism part by saying I had one less thing to spend time and money on. But then, in a surprising turn, my body turned on me again. I had never really experienced a normal menstrual cycle without the aid of drugs while being married. Oh boy, was it life changing. Literally.

In my first month sans meds, little man started gestating. How could this have happened, I pondered? We were always so careful. I never found an answer. Almost two years later and still drug-free, and woops! It happened again. This time, I wanted an answer and I wanted it NOW. Why the hell was I such a Fertile Myrtle? A lot backtracking and memory digging came into play. What could it be?

The answer, my friends, is what I like to call the ovulation demon. You see, when women ovulate naturally, their bodies go into a hormonal frenzy. It's quite animalistic. And that's apparently what I became- an animal on the quest of fulfilling my evolutionary duty. Makin' babies. The Hubs claims it was all my doing. I'm to blame. As much as I like to avoid accepting a shred of evidence, he's sorta right. Don't blame me, blame my hormones. They made me do it. If they had a gun, they would've been pointing it at my head (or rather at the nether regions). Here I sit with two kids silently sleeping and alive thanks to some terrorist lady hormones.

Terrorists, these ovulation hormones surely are. Monthly, the battle continues. They throw hormone bombs. I retaliate with cookies and Cheezits. They shoot the hormones out of a rocket launcher. I stock up on condoms at Costco. When they attack full-force with thousands of molecular men infiltrating my brain, The Hubs just so happens to pick up extra work or stay late or not feel well. To keep fighting this intrusion (since the Hormone Terrorists don't take "I'm too tired" for an answer), food of any sort is ingested at magnificent speeds and amounts. Even though we're a terror threat of orange, I have great hope that the threat will dissipate and move on.

For now, I will fight the good fight. Sex ed. classes will be cursed under my breath for the lack of real information these kids need. I'm sure girls can figure out where to stick cotton things when they start flowing like the Colorado River. Plus, if they've gotten to that time of the month, chances are great that there's no baby in the ute. Wouldn't it be better to teach our youth the warnings signs of the Hormone Terrorists of Ovulation country, so they can prepare for attack? Isn't it better to be prepared than to falsify a sense of preparation with medications and shots and devices? All I'm saying is let's not get into the whole hiding information thing. Our country is already good enough at that, so why follow in their footsteps? Use whatever guise you want, whether it's trying to avoid synthetic hormones or minimizing your budget, let's get the truth out there.

The demon is alive and well. What will you tell your daughters or nieces or granddaughters?

I think it's time to start Ovulation Awareness? Who's with me?

___________________________________________________________________________________

Hey you! Yeah, YOU! Have you entered to win a copy of Dr. Sears' The Portable Pediatrician? The answer is no, you have not. How do I know? Because there are NO entries. This means your chances are pretty much 100% in your favor. You should go enter, like now, before it's over.

Success & Failure: Weeks 1 & 2

2011-10-09T22:59:00.000-07:00

If you haven't been tuning in to my previous posts, I'll quickly update you--this is freaking hard. I've been off of FaceBook for nine full days. I nixed Netflix/TV/Movies for the full seven days of week one. Then came the "turn off the phone" week, which is in progress. Before going down the road with week two, let's talk about week one.

I unplugged. Literally. I took the power strip containing the cords for our television, DVD player, and Roku (to play Netflix), and hid it in our entertainment center. When the boys awoke on day one, they were baffled. Where were the remotes? Where was the special red button? Why didn't the TV do anything when the buttons were pushed? Lots of running and pointing to the screen followed by shouts of "Caillou! Big, Big Friends! Gabba! BA!BA!BA!" followed. But nothing happened. One young child even went so far to bang on the screen while dramatically falling to his knees, throwing his head back, and producing enough tears to fill a swimming pool. All over a 24 inch box that displayed colorful creatures singing and dancing and teaching life lessons. Their world was shattered. And I had shattered it purposefully.

But the pool dried up and distractions surmounted to a point where life went on. Once reality set in, life got a bit easier. Kids stopped begging as much. Dramatic monologues ceased. Play happened. And I survived without my free on-call 24/7 babysitter despite my dramatic monologues that came and went. I have to say, though, that this week was only made possible by a generous gift from Mother Nature. You see, we've been in 100 degree weather for months with no end in sight. All of a sudden, the weather dipped to a cool 80 degrees during the day and a chilly mid-60's at night. Thus, we were actually able to play outside all day every day. Parks were frequented. Fields were run through. And non-air conditioned air was breathed. I think these kids were just so happy to be outside without turning beat red within a minute of opening the door that TV was finally over-ruled.

Frankly, this is how it should be for kids (and the rest of us). When we can enjoy being outside, there is little else we need to entertain us. So we succeeded for week one. I even got through The Hubs' first 24 hour shift without the aid of Netlfix, which is saying a lot because that's how I fall asleep when he's not home 98% of the time. Although we won this first mini-challenge, we still decided to keep TV in the form of Netflix and movies in our lives. I got rid of the converter box about a month ago, so even if we wanted to watch normal programming, we wouldn't be able to. The benefit of this is that we can avoid ALL commercials. It's worth spending $8/month for Netflix when you know your child is only watching a single show with no added advertising. Plus, since there are no commercials, shows are shorter. Instead of sitting in front of the boob tube for a full thirty minutes, we get to sneak past children by saying they are allowed one show. Finally, The Hubs and I get to use Netflix for snuggle/relax time. It's cheaper than going to the movies, and we can pause when we want to grab a snack or pee. To us, Netflix is worth every penny of that eight bucks we spend monthly. However, we now also know that if we had to get rid of it, we could survive...as long as the weather also cooperates.

As week one was a great success, that brings us into the throws of week two: get rid of the trusty phone. Let me just say that we are two days in, and it's already an epic fail. I was ready for this challenge. I didn't think I used my phone that much. I've certainly lived without texting, so that wouldn't be a problem. And then life happened to prove otherwise. The first day of the week, little man K walked right off the trampoline...and fell straight onto his head, forcing his neck to wrench ninety degrees to allow his body to fall rather than stay in headstand position. Needless to say, I was panic stricken at first. I cooled off once I realized he didn't seem badly hurt. He walked fine, stopped crying, and even wanted back up on that ol' trampoline. I watched and waited. When he would sporadically keep losing his balance and have to sit for a minute or two and his eyes jutted back and forth for a second, I knew it was time to head to the ER. This is where the phone comes in. Daddy (aka The Hubs) was at work, but thankfully I got a hold of him to ask for his EMT expertise. Was I overreacting? Do we need to go? Do I call 911? Thankfully, he's trained to be cool and collected in these situations because I was surely not. After some short deliberation, we decided he needed to go. Phone in hand, we headed to the ER with the pediatric ward. Daddy got to stay in touch via text along with relatives who had to step in to care for Big Bro. Gratefully, he only came out of the ordeal with a sprained neck. And I had to admit failure for day one.

Day two emerged looking bright. I had forgotten to turn my phone off as I use it instead of an actual clock. Big mistake. It rang and buzzed and beckoned to be tended to. I obliged. In my haste of no phone week, I forgot about the numerous commitments I made the week prior--all requiring me to be call-capable. Crap. I caved in and responded to these semi-urgent matters. And then it hit me. Is this challenge even possible? I'm sure people are out there sans phone. But what about those of us who do a lot of business and connecting through a phone? In the midst of this thought cloud, it became abundantly clear that, generally speaking, I only use my phone for "important" matters, like if I need to contact a relative about babysitting or touching base with a person I have a later appointment with. Oh yeah, and to deal with emergency situations like the one above. I do use my phone to talk to The Hubs when he's working a 24 or to my mom when we just want to bitch about our days, but those, to me, are real, human connections. You can hear emotions without having to assume a tone of someone's words. I'm often amazed at how I can feel supported by just talking to someone without having to be physically near them. There's something about the typed word that can't fill that void the way the sound of a voice can.

And this is where I am conflicted, dear readers. Do I continue to try and go phone free? If you have done it, how did you do it? Suggestions are GREATLY appreciated as day three quickly approaches, and my to-do list is filled with agencies to call.

Degree Free Doctor!

2011-10-08T15:57:00.000-07:00

With the aid of the internet, who needs to go to college to be a doctor these days? Mayo Clinic. Web MD. NIH. There's an immense wealth of information and misinformation on health issues. I know I have used it to diagnose myself with a plethora of possible diagnoses. None of which came to fruition, but at least I got a good worry in. Well, I'm trying to change that. I'm trying to avoid using the interwebz as a means for real medical advice.

And how does one do that? Either by talking to a real, in-person doctor or via books written by accredited doctors. Granted there's some real doctor information online, but you often have to sift through a lot of random advice to get there. Well, here's the deal happy readers, I was recently given a great book for parents called The Portable Pediatrician by Dr. Sears and family. I can almost guarantee that if you're a parent, you have heard of the infamous Dr. Sears. He's a pretty big deal in the baby world. How would you like to join in on the Dr. Sears lovin'? That book I mentioned above is up for grabs. I read through most of it, and it's a great resource to have on hand when you have little ones. The book is ripe with pertinent information about many illnesses, causes, and most importantly, when to call the doctor. That last bit is where a lot of us parents get confused. Finally, there's quite a bit of information on home remedies, which I love. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment below.

Happy reading and worrying less!

*Open to humans 18 years +. Giveaway closes on October 15 at midnight AZ time. A winner will be chosen at random and announced on the 16th.

P.S. Update on No TV/Netflix week coming tonight. Little Man took a major spill off the trampoline, so I got to spend the morning in the ER. At least this happened a few weeks before we are left without health insurance. Oh yeah, and we are more than elated he came out with only a neck sprain. Boys! Whatcha gonna do?

P.P.S. Sorry about the far-ly indented first words. Blogger is being a B.

A Step Forward

2011-10-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

Grim. That's a fair way to put how life has been portrayed over here at Minimalist Mommi. Negativity consumed my brain this week, as is evident in the previous posts. Truthfully, that's ok by me. I'm a lover of honesty, and truth be told, life is not always rainbows and unicorns. This blog and writing in general are my release of the mental demons begging to eschew my sense of a rational reality. In my quest to a minimalist mind, I often forget to stop. Breathe. Run through the emotions. Let them be. And move on.

And this is the brunt of what I really needed to say these last few days, beautifully constructed into melody and lyrics:

Ok, so maybe this three minutes of musical beautification slightly diverts from my no TV/Netflix/Video week, but it was needed. Plus, I can't just add the song from my Pandora station to share; thus leaving YouTube as the best option.

Those carefully sung words are minimal. Only a few words are needed to convey the pain and truth and needs. Turn off the words, and you're left with an inspiring three minutes of perfectly crafted instrumentals. This sort of thing, better known as music, is what helps me snap out of a funk. It's hard not to be happy or relaxed when a piece just speaks to you. The artist took the time to intricately piece words and instruments together to share thoughts and emotions. The rest of us reap that reward. And from their creation, more creations can become. Painting to music. Cooking to music. Dancing to music. A simple three minutes of my life became transformed into something uniquely mine and beautiful.

Without fault, every single time I hear the above Sia song, I can't help but dance. Movement oozes from my pores. Limbs begin moving independently as if octopus tentacles. A leg up. Arm bent and down. Fingers splayed. Foot pointed. Modern dance is my medium. Poorly danced, but lovingly so. At that moment, my body has no other option. Dancing is a priority despite children grabbing my hand or toys under my ever-moving feet. Hope must be breathed back into me by way of random poetic movement.

And this is what saves me. Creation catalyzed by a different creator. All allowed due to minimalism yet again. Less mess in the house means less to trip over as my body uncontrollably moves in every which way. Desire for less means I don't turn to shopping or food or anything else when in a rut. Finally, the best part is that trying to achieve a minimalist mind means that the more work I put in, the easier creation becomes. The easier I calm down. The easier I can appreciate and find beauty in tiny details. The easier I can remember the truly important aspects of life. When you're in a physical and mental state of clutter, how likely is it that a blip of music in your day will help dissolve your stresses and worries and sadness? Not very likely. When you remove it all, there's room for the smallness of creations to exude happiness, which then takes over your being.

For those that stuck around this week, I'm truly grateful. I hope I can provide a shred of evidence that working through mental clutter IS possible despite the tumultuous turns it may take. Remember to find those blips of beauty whether it be a song, a photograph, or nature. Find the real creations that hold meaning and forget the rest.

What are the creations that bring meaning in your life? What lifts you up when in a downward spiral?

Antithesis

2011-10-06T15:15:00.000-07:00

I hate to be one to spoil the grieving party, but I have to say, this whole Steve Jobs thing doesn't really sadden me. The first thing I thought was "THE DEATH OF APPLE! HOORAY!!" Ok, so I should preface this post by stating that's it's sad for anyone to lose a family member to any horrible disease. That being said, I don't get what all the hype is about.

This is how I get every time someone famous dies. It's like the whole world knew this person and their passing is the worst thing ever. Remember when Michael Jackson died, and people were balling their eyes out and holding long candlelight vigils for a possible child molester? Yep, didn't get that. I'm not one to follow celebrities. I just don't get what all the fuss is about. We choose to spend a lot of time figuring out every minute detail of another person's life who we've never met and probably will never meet. This, in turn, allows us to focus on everything BUT the physical people in our actual life. I understand death is a hard pill for most to swallow, but when people get more upset over a middle-aged man who possibly gave us too much technology than their grandma, there's a big issue there. While on the phone with my mom last night, we were discussing the death of Steve Jobs. She mentioned that she felt like she needed to call and console my brother, one of the biggest Apple advocates I know. What?! I hope she didn't do that. I know for many they look at the impact he's made in the technological world. But what I'd like to ask all of you is were these "advances" necessary? Do they add great value to life? And this is where I differ from about 99% of the human race. I don't see Steve Jobs as some computer god. I see him as someone leading to the demise of community and true human relationships.

Riiiiight. You're all thinking. This from a girl who is writing all of this on a computer to connect with people thousands of miles away via the internet. Sure, you hate technology, you hypocrite. I understand those sentiments. I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with technology. I choose not to own any Apple products. I choose not to buy into the "must have new gadget/device/software" craze that our technologically "advanced" society buys into. I just won't. Simple living isn't about finding the easiest way to do everything. It's about finding how you can live on much less, even technologically, and live a more meaningful life. One full of real human relationships where you actually meet people in person and talk not through a screen. You know, like the good ol' days. It's hard because for my generation, the internet is about one of the only ways we know how to connect with the outside world. That's pretty sad. It's not to say that I don't enjoy connecting with people from around the world because that is a true bonus. But I spend so much time doing just that when the real people in my life could possibly use some attention. Even The Hubs has major issues with how technology uses his time. He is rarely found without his Ipod Touch within reach. It's sad and depressing as his wife to have to beg him to put it down, so we can have quality human interaction.

What I'm finding is that people don't want to put down their virtual connections to create real ones. Why? What's the importance of having real people in your life when you can stare at a screen all day and envision these "perfect" people you are e-connecting with? And there's the answer. Reality is too harsh a mistress. It's easier to talk to people when we get to make up their voice, sometimes how they look, assume how they act and spend their days, and thus create these avatars, so to speak, of perfect friends and lovers. The internet allows the imagination to run so rampant that the desire for true human connections is dwindling every second of every day. Even now as I sit here writing this, I know I love my virtual friends and readers, but I'd much rather have the love and time of my husband and family. (That's not to say I don't admire and deeply appreciate everyone venturing here...just, well, you know the whole unrequited love thing is hard).

Here is sit, looking at the hypocrite in the mirror trying to decide her next move. Leave the virtual world and support from it? Delve into real, in-person relationships? Or try and find a balance between the two because technology is what it is these days, so if you can't beat them, join them?

No answer yet. As you can tell this connectivity challenge is having many unintended thoughts permeating my mind, eagerly awaiting to be delicately and deliberately typed into a jumble of random ramblings. Something to think about at least.

Reference Point

2011-10-04T14:26:00.000-07:00

I took a little poorly written poetry detour yesterday. It made sense to me. I was feeling it big time. However, once I had The Hubs read it, he made it abundantly clear that he had absolutely no clue what I was trying to say. Ok, so I guess I should explain. Add a reference point so to speak.

If you're one of the few who read yesterday's crap for poetry. Firstly, sorry. Secondly, I tried to allude to the theme of which I was discussing. Not so clear as I've been told. I was writing in regards to how I'm feeling with FaceBook and TV/Netlfix out of my life. Frankly, I feel as bare as a baby at birth. Naked, covered in goo, and entering a new, foreign world. It doesn't quite seem like a great way to enter any situation. Yet, here I sit. Bewildered. Naked from my electronic addictions being stripped away. Covered in the goo of stress and extra time I don't know how to handle. And entering the new, foreign world of true life--like where I actually have to live in the present and not through a screen.

And it hasn't even been a week. And it's not even my internet free week! This all from two measly things exiting my to-do list. Insignificant they may seem to the untrained eye. To my brain, it is utter chaos. Addictions are hard to break. They increase the happy neurons firing, but leave you feeling with a bit less; thus always wanting to re-achieve that initial high. That's what FaceBook did for me. Ever-changing as it is, I was always re-seeking the high from the minute before. Who will comment on my status? Who posted new pictures? Who did what and went where today? It's a never-ending cycle of being in the know. Someone is always doing something, so you always have to play catch up. And this is what I've been doing for almost five years--feeding an addiction by playing catch up.

Even as I sit here, I still desire to go back to FaceBook. I often have to stop myself as I unconsciously type "F" into the URL bar for FaceBook. I miss my friends and virtual relationships. I hate feeling out of the loop. Nothing has stepped in as of yet to take the place FaceBook filled for me. Add to this the fact that my calming technique for myself and the boys has also been stripped from our lives. I have an addiction I'm quitting cold turkey, which leads to stress. When stressed, I turn on the Netflix for it's mind-numbingly soothing qualities. No Netflix equals added stress. Stress from killing a habit that can not be soothed leads to even more stress. And also to horribly created poetry, as the case may be.

I'm only four days in. The urges are still there. I miss being around a virtual community daily. My days feel void and empty. Hurriedly, I'm trying to find ways to fill them up, but nothing seems to fit quite right. My experiment is working, but only to expose the brutal honesty of what I need to fix. So here I'll sit, typing some more, and praying for anything to enter my day and bring me joy to erase the grief.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Since I'm so obviously desperate to connect, I'm on Twitter, Google +, and AOL Instant Messenger (minimalistmommi [at] gmail [dot]com).

Stripped

2011-10-03T16:37:00.000-07:00

Everything is off

I'm left naked

Standing cold and in shock of the truth

Wondering why I've allowed myself

to be left in such a space of bareness

Stripped

Shivering without the cloaks

of time wasters

I'm lost with nothing

but myself

and the reality of what I've created

Nudity forces transparency

Clear as day, I can see

This is what I have needed

Force the skin of life to show

Leave the clothes that hide the flaws

and allow a life of denial

Stripped.

Raw and uncovered

is how I need to be

to find the right clothes of life

The ones that fit just right

Give and hug where needed

Leave the stains and sags behind

Stripped

of what was

to allow what needs to be

Challenge du Mois: Connectivity

2011-10-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

Welcome, October! A new month, hopefully cooler weather in sight, and the end of food-related challenges. What's there to explore then? Connections. The food connections have been discussed in detail, so I felt it was time to move on to more meaningful connections: human relationships.

If you're an avid reader, you'll likely notice that my goals in reducing physical and mental clutter are means towards stronger, more meaningful relationships with humans, animals, and good ol' Mother Nature. Focusing on all of those relationships at once is quite overwhelming, so I'll be spending all of October focusing on relationships of the human kind.

How does one do that? Well, I have a lot of ideas about this one, and obviously a few experiments to challenge my ideals. Firstly, I will explore how technology has changed human relationships. I will be nixing FaceBook for the whole month, but will be exploring other social media venues such as Twitter and Google+. Why give FaceBook the ax? Is it an overreaction to the changes? No. You see, FaceBook used to be a place where peers could come together to plan parties and form study groups. Then, it opened up to the world. It transformed as a means to stay in touch with distant relatives and friends, but also to keep up with your current circle. Fast forward a bit more, and you'll see FaceBook turning into advertising central. Skip to today and look to the future changes, and it's crystal clear what FaceBook's new intentions are--to use it's clients as free advertising tools. With FaceBook teaming up with big name companies like iTunes and Netflix, we, the physical people, are being blatantly used to sell more product. FaceBook tries to disguise these new partnerships as connecting friends through movies, shows, music, and games. Frankly, FaceBook, how dumb do you think we all are? It's quite pathetic. What used to be a hub for hanging out is becoming a constantly updating virtual billboard. I'm choosing not to be used as a money-making scheme. Thus is why I want to explore other social media sites. I still desire to connect, and the internet is a fantastic place for it, but I don't want to be in the midst of the marketing frenzy. I just want to connect with real humans without trying to be talked into buying a DVD. So good-bye FB, hello Bird and +.

Other than exploring new means to connect with humans on the world wide web, I plan to discover how these technological connectors may be negatively impacting my real life relationships. It's hard, though, because as a stay at home mother, those technological advances can be what keep me sane. Yet, I find myself so engrossed in said activities that I often fail to live my present life. I will be hopping out of the digital world one item at a time for a whole week at a time. For the first week, we will go TV, Netflix, movie free. No more free in-home babysitting for me or mindless programming to end a day. The second week will be a phone free week. I'm not the hugest phone or texting person, but I'm quite interested to see how I can still maintain contact with loved ones without the aid of my trusty cell phone. Week 3 will be the absolute hardest--no internet. This one already makes me queasy, but in order to truly understand the impact internet has on my time and relationships, it needs to go for awhile. Finally, the last week will be what I like to call Moderation Week. I will set limits on texting, internet usage, and Netflix time. I hope that by setting limits, I will use my time more wisely and come to appreciate what I often take for granted.

So that's how this month should go. No FaceBook. Twitter & Google+. Phone, Netflix, and internet deprivation periods. And hopefully, I'll find how to live more in the present in order to find the types of relationships I feel void of.

Could you do it? What's your technological vice? Want to connect? Look for MinimalistMommi on Twitter, Minimalist Mommi on Google+, and MinimalistMommi on Instant Messenger.

Eating Arizona: Challenge Overview

2011-09-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

Well, friends, it's that time of the month again. Time to say adios to one challenge and hola to the next. In comparison to my first challenge of extreme couponing, I found true love in September. Finding passion is key to finding happiness, so any passion found is a blessing. You know when you think of your ideal self and what all that person encompasses, and actually make a step towards that, how amazing it feels? This, in a nut shell, is what eating locally has done for me.

I've always been one to tout the idea that eating locally was the right thing to do. When it came down to where my dollar went, my ideals and actions didn't mesh. I was a bit lazy and a lot bit frugal, so easily rationalized my non-local food choices. Then came the buying local challenge. I had to live up to my ideals. I had to say good-bye to bargain hunting and hello to early morning grocery shopping. Despite the downsides of such a challenge, I firmly believe that this challenge was a push in the direction I needed. Let's discuss some of the costs and benefits to such a lifestyle below.

Week 4's bounty. Those cheese curds are AMAZING! And? NUTS (pecans to be exact)!

PRO's:

-Shopping at the farmer's market put some money back into my state. Like every other state, our economic woes are large. By shopping for food locally, I'm ensuring that the money is going back into the hands of the residents. Plus, when you buy your meat from a local rancher and fruits from a local farmer, you're putting money directly back into the food source. You're allowing them to continue to feed you and also feed their own family. You can't put that money back into the community any more easily.

-When you shop at the farmer's market, you pay no tax. I consider this a huge win. Since our taxes keep getting hiked up to cover the bureaucrats' asses, the residents take the hit. Our food budget is small enough, so saving that 5-10% every week helps tremendously.

-Food packaging be gone! Ok, so we weren't package free, but purchasing mainly fruits and veggies drastically reduced the amount of packaging and subsequent trash pile. Less packaging also saves time because you don't have to fuss over opening that stupid plastic ring with no tear mark or waste water rinsing out everything in order to recycle it. You can just rinse, cook, and eat. More time, less trash--exactly what I wanted.

-Grocery shopping became a fixed time every week. Initially, we found ourselves trekking to various farmer's markets and stores to figure out what we needed. By the end of the month, we had a system hashed out. I only had to go to one market on Sunday and possibly make a Whole Foods run mid-week if things became too dire. Having a set time and place to grocery shop is a godsend! I tend to procrastinate things, but when you know you only have three hours to grocery shop, time constraints become a great motivator. Also, since the market is smaller than most grocery stores, you spend less time walking around and avoid more temptation. Penciling in our weekly food shopping is definitely a win!

-No more bargain shopping! I spent so much time in August looking for the best deals, so local shopping brought a sigh of relief. Farmer's markets don't have ads or coupons or special membership programs. You just go, buy your food, come home, and eat. I found it much less stressful and so much more relieving to shop for food when I wasn't constantly worrying if I could've saved a few bucks by purchasing the items elsewhere. In a sense, the farmer's markets allowed me to live life without allowing money to rule my life. It's amazing how such a small change as to where you shop can have such a drastic effect on your relationship with money. This is likely my biggest gain from September's experiment.

-Look, Mom, I can cook! Ok, so probably not well, but I'm learning. Shopping locally forced me to learn to use new ingredients. I had to be inventive and brave to try foods I may have otherwise passed on. I'm learning to make do with what we've got. This is not only good for food, but is also a lesson in minimalism. In the US, we are spoiled. When we want food, we can get it, even if we're poor or homeless. Often, we take for granted the wide array of food at our fingertips. When we lived on a smaller selection, we had to learn to appreciate what we had more. This only solidified my love of minimalism because it taught me another area that needed improvement. I don't need all the food, but I can surely appreciate and make do with what's available today.

-COMMUNITY! Can I say this any louder?! I've shopped at the same few grocery stores for years, and rarely has a worker remembered me. I go to the farmer's market for a few weeks, and I'm already making friends. I partly want to continue shopping at our local Sunday market just to see the same friendly faces. It's safe to say that there are more smiling faces at a farmer's market than you'll ever see at a big box grocery store. There's nothing more contagious than that happiness either. Thus why I already can't wait for Sunday to roll around!

CONS:

-Price. Okay, so the first few times we ventured to the farmer's markets, I had near heart attacks. How much for meat? You want $7 for a bag of cheese?! Local food can cost more than the grocery stores. No doubt about it. However, we found that we saved money almost every week because our packaged food intake reduced so drastically. Plus, we learned how to use our WIC checks more effectively to make that food count rather than buying even more food on top of the WIC food.

-Oh the legalities of labels. I'm sure you're all more than aware of my love for organics. However, most local food can not be called "organic" due to USDA labeling laws and standards. I found this quite tricky. I wanted to buy organic, but without the label I was quite confused. Most of the farmers or vendors were quite informed about their products, so I did get answers about how the food was grown. And although I'm a label lover, I learned that food can still be healthfully grown without that stamp of approval. At the end of the day, I had to shove Little Ms. Organic over and accept that no label, but pesticide and herbicide free are ok too. (not sure Little Ms. Organic is buying it, but we're trying).

-Limited selection. This was the hardest part for me. I like what I like and have certain food staples in my life such as flour and peanut butter and avocados--all of which are not exactly grown in AZ. The lack of selection was definitely the hardest aspect of this whole ordeal. I looked into buying mesquite flour, but could not justify spending $20+ per pound. Instead, we just ate a lot of bread and rice to deal with my intense carb cravings. Maybe after reading this some farmer will delve into these other foods and get some locally grown, but for now, I'm going to cave on a few items for my health and sanity.

-Hello, morning! My family is not one of early risers. Let's revise that. My family does not have parents who enjoy rising early. The kids would like to think otherwise, but we parents could always use a few more hours of sleep. Due to this, getting up and out the door early to head to the market was a daunting task. We're getting used to it, but we have been completely spoiled on stores that are open nearly 24/7. Not quite the case with farmer's markets. Adaptation is key on this one, but I'm more than open to the possibility of a late night farmer's market...you know, so I can go when kids are sleeping and enjoy the market experience. Just a thought.

Conclusion:

I think it's fair to say I've changed this month. Shopping and eating locally was a bit of a chore, but 100% worth it. I love the experience of attending the markets. I love the quality of the food. I'm learning to accept the price. It's a shift, but one that I wholeheartedly intend to keep in our lives.

Will I "cheat"? Absolutely. As stated above and in previous posts, I just can't get everything our family needs from local sources. It's damn near impossible. When it is possible, it's completely impossible to stick to our food budget. It's all about moderation. We will continue to get what we can at the farmer's market. We'll still utilize WIC. And we will also allow ourselves to indulge in a few old favorites (because seriously, I'm a peanut butter addict). It's fair. It's moderate. Frankly, it just feels right.

Now to the part you're all really wondering about: the cheating for September. In previous posts, I mentioned that we used WIC checks. I also mentioned that we got some free food from coupons. What I failed to mention was that family members helped us out for the boys' sake. Grandmas donated peanut butter and had us over for dinner. Pantry shopping was done at my parents' house a time or two. Gorging on junk at relatives' abodes was inevitable. At the end of the month, though, we didn't spend a single penny of our own on non-local food. I'd have to say that would render this experiment successful even if we did get some freebies along the way.

Ghetto container gardens. Just add soil, seeds, water, & bling

Finally, do you recall the last part of the challenge? Starting our garden? I have some pictures of the minute accomplishments in that department. I truly would have loved to plant food, but with the temperature still well over 100, I retreated to our air conditioned quarters and vowed to complete this aspect as soon as the weather decides to cooperate. I'll keep you all updated on how that goes, or rather how it possibly dies as I'm a well known accidental plant killer.

That's it for September. Stay tuned for tomorrow's post as I announce October's Challenge du Mois. Trust me, you're going to want to stick around for it. A good laugh will ensue, surely, for those that know me well. Enjoy today, and if you just can't get enough, look below for more ways to connect.

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Let's connect! I've added the e-mail subscription on the top right of the page, an option to add via Friend Connect, and there's always Google+ (Minimalist Mommi) and FaceBook. Oh yeah, and I became a bird enthusiast and joined Twitter. Hope to see you around :)

Support Rewiring

2011-09-29T14:39:00.000-07:00

Brains. Those tricky S.O.B's. They are a requirement for life. They control all of our bodily functions. Often times, they are our best friends. However, just as frequently as they befriend us, they also become our worst enemy. Interconnected neural pathways are so minute yet intensely significant. A Utopian molecular world or War of the Synapses? What happens when those connections and pathways are broken or dead end or lead to the wrong places? Mental chaos.

Truth be told, almost 100% of humankind will experience some form of mental chaos in their lifetime. Grief. Loss. Anxiety. Depression. Fears. Phobias. Delusions. All are set to destroy at various points. Some may have more intense bouts with the bearers of chaos. Others may get off easily with a small blip of "the crazies." Any way you slice it, though, we are all bound to reach a breaking point where we need help. What's a person to do?

As a Psychology major, I am ready with my arsenal of therapeutic suggestions. However, what it comes down to is support. Support from yourself, friends, family, therapists, doctors, or groups. Just take it from which ever source is willing able to truly give you the type you need. To make it easier, I've added a few suggestions below on how to obtain and give support. Why? Shouldn't it be an obvious thing? If you need help, just ask? Well, yes and no. When most people are going through rough times, it's hard to ask for help and often embarrassing. Asking for help often leads to a person wondering why the help is needed which then in turn forces the asking party to admit to their inadequacy. For example, I'm currently struggling with orthorexia and emetophobia. I got so desperate I almost went on reality TV to get help. When it set in that I could find support sans cameras, I quit. Is it embarrassing to admit these issues to all of you right now? Absolutely. But I often find that honesty leads to support. I hope I can inspire those of you traversing the rough neural seas to get the support and help that is right for you. Mainly, my goal is to show the majority of you amidst calm waters what you can do to support those who are bracing their personal hurricane.

For the rough seas crowd:

-Get over the embarrassment. Of all people, I truly understand how hard it is to tell people what's truly up. However, people tend to be much more empathetic if they understand you're suffering from depression and aren't just mad or grumpy or avoiding everyone for no reason. It can also be extremely cathartic to say, "This is what I'm going through. Take it or leave it." It leaves you less vulnerable and more readily available to heal.

-Don't live by the label. When we're given a diagnosis, its easy to become the walking stereotype of such a label. This sets back the healing process as you are just trying to live up what you believe you are. That label you are given is not permanent. It's only when you buy into it that it does become permanent. A complete self-fulfilling prophecy. Understand the label and what makes you fall into that category in order to better understand yourself, but never allow the monster attached to said label take over.

-Know what or who is helpful. Once you fend off the embarrassment and open up, the flood gate of supporters awaits you. However, not all supporters will give you what you need. Look to yourself and figure out what exactly you are looking for in terms of help. Do you need a third party's perspective? Do you just need a hug rather than listening to everyone's stories in a support group? Once you understand what type of support you're more inclined to accept, it makes the healing process that much easier as you can seek out exactly what you need.

-Understand you may not know. Remember how I said look to the support you know you'll listen to? It's quite true. However, you also need to be open to the possibility that other forms of support may aid in your recovery. Be open to other possibilities. You can always try one and turn it down if it doesn't help. Yet you may just find that someone or something was extremely helpful that initially seemed pointless. Be open to other possibilities.

For those in calmer waters:

-Don't assume. Frequently, we just assume that people are fine because we don't hear from them or they don't say anything. Worse yet, we may assume people are mad at us or we did something wrong when a close friend becomes distant. When we assume we know what another is experiencing, we often find we are dead wrong. If you're concerned, ask. Ask politely, though, because as stated above, these situations tend to be extremely embarrassing for the person experiencing them; thus quickly opening up may not happen. Give it some time and know you did the right thing by asking over assuming.

-Listen non-judgmentally. This is probably the biggest point. It's easy to listen. It's massively hard to do so without imposing judgments. If a friend comes to you to say she's experiencing agoraphobia, stop the immediate judgments of things like, "Really?! Just walk outside the front door!" Remember that your friends and relatives are trying to rewire their brain. Think how long it would take to rewire an entire house. These issues are not just like turning on a light switch. When you realize this, listening openly and being empathetic is much easier.

-Be patient. Just like I said in the last point, rewiring is a long, tedious process. To outsiders, it seems like progress should be easy and fast. It's easy to think that way when your house is perfectly wired. Try and put yourself in their shoes. If your house needed a complete rewiring, I'm sure you'd beg others for patience as they sit in your candle-lit house for dinner because the overhead light's wiring is frayed. Giving people the time to heal with no time stipulations can be one of the hugest forms of support.

-Know you may not be the answer. Everyone knows what works for them and what doesn't. The same goes for support. Unfortunately, you may just not have the answer for your best friend in her time of need. Instead of trying to become what she needs, give her space to find what will work. A dear friend of mine lost her mother over a year ago. I desperately wanted to be there for her. However, I knew I just couldn't provide her the true support she needed, so I backed off. Offer support, but never be angry or upset if the person graciously declines. Giving the other space is still being supportive even if it's not your idea of what support looks like. Your relationship will only grow because you backed off.

And those are my quickie suggestions. I hope you can find value in it no matter which ocean you're on. Am I forgetting anything? Which ones have you tried? What worked for you? Let's share and support each other!

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Let's connect! I've added the e-mail subscription on the top right of the page, an option to add via Friend Connect, and there's always Google+ (Minimalist Mommi) and FaceBook. Oh yeah, and I became a bird enthusiast and joined Twitter. Hope to see you around :)

First Date and Updates

2011-09-27T21:44:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I'd like to congratulate Heather L. on winning a date with me. This Friday, we will be purging her soon-to-be daughter's room. I'm pretty excited. Heather is probably a bit scared. For the other entrants, your kindness towards Heather was amazing. For that, I'd like to offer you all a quickie--a 4 hour decluttering session. If interested, let me know by e-mail or commenting here. Let's just say I like to get around!

Secondly, some changes are happening here at Minimalist Mommi. A new site is in the works that should hopefully be more user friendly and, well, prettier than this old Blogger blog. Don't worry, I'm not just going to up and ditch you all. You're likely to be over informed of the process. Maybe it'll be too much, and you'll just ditch me. Time shall tell.

Lastly, it's been one of those days. The Hubs got some amazing news at work about a new shift. However, that doesn't go into effect for over a week. Thus, a lack of thought out, insightful posts is to be expected as my brain is fried from the sheer amount of never-ending preschooler questions, non-stop bathroom trips thanks to potty-training a toddler (and a big brother who now purposefully Bogart's the toilet), and the rotation of mess begging to be cleaned. Please bear with me as I'm just trying to stay afloat this next week.

And just so you don't all get grumpy, here's a quick From Scatch recipe....

Crunchy Cake ( a.k.a. Chocolate oatmeal brownies)

I found this recipe in a carb panic. Our ingredients were limited, but these things turned our surprisingly tasty. I took this recipe, but edited it to fit what we had. Here's what I did:

Ingredients:

-2 C Oats (1/2C old fashioned & 6 packets of plain instant oatmeal)
-1 C Sugar
-1/3 C Cocoa Powder
- Pinch salt
- Dash Almond Extract (out of vanilla)
- 1/2 C Canola Oil (kids broke jar of coconut oil)
- 2 eggs or equivalent egg replacer (used Ener-G egg replacer)

Instructions:

-Grease an 8x8 pan & set oven to 350F/180C
-Combine oats, sugar, cocoa, and salt
-Add in remaining ingredients and combine well
-Place batter in pan
-Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean

We loved the flavor and cakiness brought on by the instant oats. For a smoother texture, stick the oats in a food processor. They could also be made into cookies, but I'm lazy and generally just stick everything in one pan and just cut after the baking. The best part about this recipe is that it's flour free and possibly gluten free too! It you can to make it super decadent, add chocolate chips. Enjoy this simple, easy treat!

(Sorry, no pictures. We gobbled them up too quickly along with all of the aforementioned stress taking me away from my trusty camera. Pictures next time. Pinky swear.)

Curbing the Inner B!

2011-09-26T23:27:00.000-07:00

I have this problem. I am inherent B. Okay, okay, I guess I should rephrase that to say I'm an inherent rebellious individualist who turns that quality into what most would consider a "Super B (itch)," to quote The Hubs. This fact may or may not be apparent when we first meet. However, put me in a group, and you'll notice Super B rear her ugly head the instant someone suggests an idea like matching shirts. A twitch of the eye. A clenched jaw. A woman dying to blurt out, "Oh please, for the love of everything that is holy. NO!!" The worst of it is that this quality is so innate, it has taken me over twenty-five years to discover. Let's delve into some examples, so you get a better understanding of what I'm dealing with.

I'm unsure of when the rebellious individualist developed. I was known by my parents to be a handful from a very young age. Extremely stubborn. A mind of her own at three. Fighting the establishment that is bed time since birth. Yet, I can remember many circumstances through the elementary school years when I was quite compliant in group settings. I complied in Girl Scouts. I rooted for my gymnastics team. I touted the idea that my school was the best. But then middle school came around and Super B decided to completely take over and come to the forefront of my being. I became anti-everything. Everyone who listened to NSYNC. Lame. Everyone with school or team spirit. Lemmings. Everyone who watched Oprah. Losers. I was such a peach. You should have seen me in cheer- a sport where the athletes are known for and expected to have immense spirit. I was the Daria of our cheer squad. By the end of middle school, I definitely had my reputation--the girl who hated everything and was ready to tell you why the popular things you were into were dumb. JNCO's, crazy socks, borrowing my brother's (much too big) ska shirts, wearing twenty sparkly bracelets and one very worn pair of Van's daily...now that was cool.

High school started, and I realized this overt individualism didn't cut it. I changed clothes. Started to attend football games. Attended a different club every day of the week. I started to fit into the "one of us" category. However, I still had my loud voice, which frequently spouted off anti-everything ideas. Rebellion still kicked in at times, and even though I participated, I did so begrudgingly. Next was college where I regained the Super B mode. I was in college to become educated and learn, so you can imagine my thoughts on all of my peers who really didn't share my mentality on academics. No parties or drinking or tail gating. Just focusing on my classes and gaining as much experience as possible to up my chances of graduate school admission. Well, if you know my story, you know a certain child surprisingly thwarted my graduate school dreams and what I had spent many years working my tail off for. These were great conditions for Super B to grow to Godzilla-like proportions. Enter motherhood. I wasn't going to be that mom. Onesies. Cutesy talk. Fancy baby gear. Cartoonish decor. I detested and fought against everything "baby." Again, I was such a peach in mom's groups.

Life happened. I kept wondering why I just couldn't make many friends? I was giving. I was nice. I was helpful. But I never really got "it" --this hidden tidbit that was keeping me from experiencing friendships and community. Then I started this blog, desperate for human interaction and connections. I explored my love for minimalism. My house was looking sparse and fantastic. I moved on to my mental clutter. Bam! The discovery of the Super B. My clear, thinking, rational self decided to butt in for a second, just long enough to make such a life-altering discovery. Once my alter-ego was uncovered, I knew something had to be done. But what? How do you change something that comes so naturally and has lived with you your entire life?

Conscious thinking. It sounds easy. Really, it's quite difficult, especially for an impulsive person like me. Acting before fully thinking is eerily natural to me. Thinking before I act is almost a form of torture. But it works. Super B is shrinking. I'm able to be in group settings without wanting to make a complete U-turn and avoid anything that may appear "popular." I'm accepting people more despite what I may initially think of their past-times. It's amazing how a simple act of analyzing your actions can completely change how you view people.

But why am I writing this, you ask? Not for the "look what I can do" factor. Or the "minimalism is the answer" suggestion. Rather, I am trying to lead by example that the traits we believe to be inherent and as much a part of us as our eye color or height, are malleable. I'm not going to lie. It's not easy. You will slip up. But change is completely possible. Maybe, like me, minimalism will lead you to that change. Maybe it will be a flying two-legged alligator. Whatever the case may be, find what works for you.

So what is your version of the Super B? Do you feel everyone has an inherent trait that leads to their demise? If you've changed a personality trait, how did you do it? Let's share. I promise not to call anyone lame. Super B's at bay...well at least most of the time.

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Let's connect! I've added the e-mail subscription on the top right of the page, an option to add via Friend Connect, and there's always Google+ (Minimalist Mommi) and FaceBook. Hope to see you around :)

A Major Inconsistency

2011-09-25T20:59:00.000-07:00

You see, I'm pretty much a big research and science nerd. I love facts and figures. And using words like "validity" and "chi square" and "confidence level" all in the same paragraph. Mostly, I adore reading journal articles (a.k.a. those boring sources you have to use in college and make you want to stab your eyes out) and looking for where they went wrong. Did they really test what they were hoping to? What are the confounding variables? If this is a correlational study, why is their discussion rambling on about cause and effect? I like to consider myself a scientific sleuth. But most consider this trait nerdy. I'm quite okay with that. I am, however, not okay when inconsistencies arise in my own life. Such an example arose that I have been forced to write this post in hopes of getting some answers. I'm encouraging you all to join the nerd bandwagon to become a detective of sorts.

Here's the dilemma: animal killing.

Oh here she goes again, you're all thinking. Vegetarian nut job! Ok, so it has something to with vegetarianism. Mainly it has a lot to do with where we draw the lines on where death is ok and where it is not. Here's an example: I'm a vegetarian for moral reasons. I don't eat meat because animals have the same pain receptors and consequently feel pain similarly to humans. Thus, when I think of how a cow was slaughtered, I'd consider what it would feel like for me. I'm guessing it would hurt badly. Since I don't want to be injured or killed, I don't want to put that pain on anything else. This is also the reason I'm against the kill shelters or use of leather or fur or abortion. It's that whole "do unto others as you would have others do unto you" stuff. I can't get over it. The inconsistency in all of this? I willingly and enjoyably kill insects, like ants, black widows, and scorpions for their perceived and real threats they pose to the kiddos. So I'm not little miss "I love everything girl" after all. I'm a living, breathing example of hypocrisy and what I strive not to be.

But how does one remedy such an inconsistency? Do I stop killing insects? Do I just allow the ants to take over my kitchen and continually attack our whole family because all of the nice, non-hurtful deterrents fail? My scientific sleuthing has yet to discover a solution other than to make it abundantly apparent that my words and actions are incongruent.

This is the part where I ask for your skills. What are your thoughts? If you eat meat, but are against kill shelters, how do you remedy that in your mind? If you're a staunch vegetarian for moralistic reasons, but are pro abortion, how do you rectify that? What makes a cow okay to kill and eat, but not a horse or dog or cat or chimpanzee or bald eagle? Where do you draw the line between right and wrong and come to a solution that the choices you have made are sound and consistent?

Ok, this is a lot to think about. I get that. Feel free to take it all in. Comment if you'd like. Please remember to try and be as judgment free as possible. We are here to grow and learn, not to say I am right and you are wrong. I'm just curious as to how people form conclusions for themselves. That's it. Eat meat or don't. Eat a cat or don't. Kill insects but not orangutans. All I ask is that you consider the consistency of your words and actions. Maybe you'll find they parse perfectly. Maybe, like me, you find some errors and need to revise your thesis.

Let's get started!

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There are new ways to connect! I've added the e-mail subscription on the top right of the page, an option to add via Friend Connect, and there's always Google+ (Minimalist Mommi) and FaceBook. Hope to see you around :)

Local Lovin': Week 3

2011-09-23T18:37:00.000-07:00

Remember this time last month? I was dying for the challenge to be over with. I felt miserable about it. I begged for the end of the month to come as quickly as possible. This month? The exact opposite. To say I'm loving this challenge would be an understatement. Yes, there are still items I miss, but overall, going local is winning big time. Let's take a look at this week...

Week 3 Bounty

The whopping total for week three is $93.14 meaning we're left with $6.86. What's the breakdown? $23.75 on fruits and vegetables, $13 for a whole chicken, $12 for 3lbs of beef ribs, $15 for 3lbs of ground beef, $5 for a pint of goat's milk gelato, $6.74 for 1.5 gallons of organic milk, $0.25 on a honey stick to appease a certain three year old, and $17.40 on beer to appease a certain adult toddler. Were there any "cheats" like last week? Yes. WIC was used once again for peanut butter, eggs, cheese, and milk. The majority of that was consumed by The Hubs. My only other non-government funded cheat was on a thing of organic peanut butter from Sprouts. I got it free because I won a $5 coupon from a FaceBook promotion. Still cheating? That's for you to decide. None of our money put into groceries was spent on anything other than local food. To me, that's a huge win!

For the aspiring beer connoisseur

With all the good this week brought, a very, very sad thing happened. We ran out of flour. I had planned on making so many carbs to make up for the ones we didn't buy, but after making the aforementioned honey lemon cookies, we were out. I was frantic. This girl needs her some carbs. I made squash pancakes with the few tablespoons of leftover flour. Still didn't feed my carbalicious desires. I roasted red potatoes. They tided me over for one meal. My body was yearning, screaming for something full of simple sugars that would give me an instant high, but would surely knock me on my ass rather quickly. I often purposefully forget the fall because the high is so much more fun. I dug through the cabinets and sifted through recipes until I found something that would work. Flourless chocolate oatmeal cookies. I only had about a half a cup of old fashioned oats left, but I did have the instant oatmeal from WIC--not my first choice, but desperate times called for desperate measures. I whipped up the few ingredients, schlepped the batter into an 8x8 pan, and waited 20 minutes. I forced myself to do the dishes as they cooled. That way I knew I deserved such a tasty reward. Dishes done. Fork hurriedly shoved in the cookie-cake. Pure heaven. Google search saves the day again.

This is the lesson I learned this week. Not that I have an intense carb addiction or that I rely on Google too much, but rather that we can make do with the little we have. I was proud that I didn't just run to the store, as I usually do, and grabbed the biggest bag of organic flour available. I stopped. Put effort in. And found a creative and tasty solution. I'm enjoying this experiment in shopping as it's forcing me to experiment with cooking and baking. I'm excited to see what the next week's finds will be and what new dishes will be created.

So what did you cook this week? Did you try anything new? Are you likely to run out and purchase a simple ingredient or do you like to find alternate solutions? Has your local shopping increased this month? Let's talk!

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There are new ways to connect! I've added the e-mail subscription on the top right of the page, an option to add via Friend Connect, and there's always Google+ (Minimalist Mommi) and FaceBook. Hope to see you around :)

Out of the Landfill. Creating Hoarders.

2011-09-22T15:21:00.000-07:00

I used to hate getting rid of certain things. I'd hold on to them in tucked away locations praying that I would eventually find a use for them. That rarely happened, so I was left to eventually toss the items in the trash and have them sadly carted away to add to the never-ending landfills. My green guilt surfaced. My heart sobbed for adding to the problem. And I was completely torn over a handful of twisty-ties or scraps of wood or bags of half-used pens. Goodwill wouldn't take them. Family didn't need them. What was option was left other than toss them? There often was no other choice, at least not until a couple years ago. A single website lightened my house and my heart--Craig's List.

Oh, my dear, sweet Craig's List full of haters, sweet elderly people, young college kids, homeless neighbors, and your run-of-the-mill suburbanites. I've met them all through my journeys traversing the free section of Craig's List. That's an especially neat part of Craig's List--you become connected to your community. You buy things from another mother three miles away only to find out your kids go to the same school. You sell things to college kids who barely have two nickles to rub together, but appreciate the affordable and well cared for Ikea furniture. You giveaway random items to families with little, people with talent and skill to re-purpose items, school teachers who can't afford even more supplies for their classrooms that the school won't cover, and so many more interesting community members. Through my postings, I've seen the good, the bad, and the extremely rude. But at the end of the day, Craig's List has been my savior to get rid of items and give them to people who may be able to use them instead of allowing them to sit in a landfill for eternity.

What's the problem then? I can't help but wonder if I'm giving items away for people to hoard. Although I can't use the items, will this person really be able to use them instead? Are they just going to fill up another person's yard or garage or drawers? Of this, I am unsure. I often wonder that if we were all to re-home our random items, would they really go to use or would we all come to a place where we just have too much? Is keeping items out of the landfill serving ourselves or is it encouraging us to find value in items for fear of ruining the world? As you can tell, I'm pretty torn on this. On the one hand, I love that I can give items a new home, but I hate to think that I'm adding to the idea that we need many items. I've been trying to consider what the world would be like if we re-homed and re-purposed all of our items. Took them all out of the landfill and redistributed them world wide. Even with spreading all the items through out the world, I have a sinking feeling that everyone would have more than would be needed. And companies are continuing to produce and produce and produce. Where's the solution? We don't want to add to landfills, but we don't want to encourage taking more than one needs. There's also the problem with items being made poorly and technology evolving so rapidly, that there's almost a need to upgrade frequently. Solutions? Anyone? Anyone?

I'm unsure of the absolute solution, but I have a few ideas:

-Buy used
-Learn how to re-purpose items
-Give items away through Craig's List, Freecylce, etc. (and pray they will be used!)

But truthfully? STOP BUYING. Stop buying into the "new" technology, "new" formulas, trends in clothing, housing, design, etc. It's hard. It truly is. As I write this, I'm battling with wanting to finish our home renovations when truly no renovations had to me made. They are purely aesthetic. I'm trying, though, to lower our list of home renovation tasks and be ok with the here and now. I often feel that if we can just find contentment with what is, this drive for bigger, better, and newer would slow down. Buying would diminish, and therefore, companies would stop producing less. We are slightly seeing this trend in the US, but there's still a lot of work to be done. And all I can do it sit here, try and avoid buying for the aforementioned reasons, and ponder this Catch 22.

What are your thoughts? Do you think it's better to re-home or chuck in the trash? Any other solutions you can think of?

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There are new ways to connect! I've added the e-mail subscription on the top right of the page, an option to add via Friend Connect, and there's always Google+ (Minimalist Mommi) and FaceBook. Hope to see you around :)

From Scratch: Honey Lemon Cookies

2011-09-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

A lot of you asked, so here you go! I'll have a weekly post of a recipe from scratch. Do you ever find that when you search through recipes, some are not from scratch? Like use this cake mix and add to it? Or had a jar of alfredo sauce? I'm not huge fan of those. Isn't the purpose of buying those products so you don't need a recipe?

Anyhow, that's why I'm calling this series From Scratch! This week's recipe was sent to me by my sister. When she made them, she had to call me right away claiming she made animal crackers! Um, YUM! The best part? There's not too much refined sugar in these! We made our first batch this week and will be making them again. They remind me of graham crackers...and they were gone within a day! These aren't super sweet, but make a great snack when left unfrosted. You can dress them up with a frosting or glaze of your choice. I chose a lemon glaze made of lemon juice, lemon rind, and enough powdered sugar to thicken it. Enjoy!

Honey Lemon Cookies

1/3 C sugar
1/3 C shortening/margarine/butter (I used vegan margarine)
1 egg or equivalent egg replacer (used Ener-G egg replaced because I like to eat the dough)
2/3 C honey
1 tsp of lemon extract or lemon juice (I used the juice from 1 whole lemon)
2 3/4 C flour (used organic unbleached flour-haven't tried whole wheat)
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt (used sea salt)

-Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 C)
-Mix sugar, honey, shortening, egg, and lemon
-Stir in remaining ingredients and mix well
-Roll out on floured surface to desired thickness (dough doesn't have to be chilled, but can be)
-Cut shapes out with cookie cutters
-Place on cookie sheets and bake for about 7 minutes

The vegan glazed version for some amazing friends/pseudo sisters

VOILA! It's really that simple! They will seem a bit hard at first, but we put ours in a sealed container overnight to soften them a bit. I hope you enjoy this simple snack!

Tools for the Tools

2011-09-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

Handy men, I like them. The fact that The Hubs knows how to fix cars and household things was a big attraction point for me. Granted, there are many attributes I find attractive in the opposite sex, but being handy is near the top. It's just so primal, and well, sexy. (Don't you agree, ladies?) The only problem with having a handy husband is that it generally requires an insane amount of supplies and tools. Sure, The Hubs could have a lot, a lot more. His dad does contracting type stuff, so I've seen first hand what The Hubs could turn into. Thankfully, he's not even close at the moment. Yet, what he does own is schlepped anywhere it will land, and that landing spot is our garage. There's an overflowing tool box, supplies for current (a.k.a. "I'll get to it soon" ) projects, and leftovers from mostly completed projects. You can surely see how this would make one minimalist a bit on edge. And on edge I have been for over a year in this house. I've been granted authority to organize the tools, and I was even fortunate enough to go through them all and have Hubs find some to donate. Still, things are all over the place.

That ended this week when I finally buckled down and got down to business. Ok, so I only did about half the garage considering the other half is just building materials and not much can be done with them. However, the bit I did obtain control over looks stunning. Will it stay so organized? Probably not. For now, I will enjoy the beauty of organization and pray that even a few things will stay in their proper place. Enjoy some before's and after's!

BEFORE:

This makes me shudder and convulse a little

Our main storage area

The project supplies area...and The Chariot

AFTER:

Slightly tidier

Look! The lid can shut! It's a miracle!

Space for some of the currently in use tools


Wrenches for my monkeys

How many wrenches does one man need? Apparently, many.

Mishmash

Needle nose pliers are one of my favorite tools

We've got a lot of screwing to do!

The worst drawer...all the random extra pieces to items we own

Lots of caulk. You know men, came up with these tool names...and their innuendos

What does your garage look like? Do you have tools galore? Don't the pretty drawers make you swoon or am I too in love with organization? Let's share! Comment below if you'd like.

Letting Go

2011-09-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

Something has been switched on inside of me, yelling "GO! MUST PURGE! MUST REORGANIZE!" I listen and follow orders. Hall closet reorganized. Boys' bedrooms reorganized. The Hubs' tool box reorganized. A trunk full to the brim of items dropped off at Goodwill. A few new bags of giveaways accumulating. I was doing the job the voice commanded me to do. Then, the voice poked me towards a box. I ignored. Then it shoved me over. Begrudgingly, I conceded. The lid came off, and I warily dove in. Nothing was going to leave this box, I told myself. I was just going to look.

I did look. I reminisced. I cried a little. I laughed a lot. And surprisingly, about half the box contents disappeared into those giveaway bags or the recycling or in a bag to give to my mom (her request) or in a pile to sell. What was this box filled with anyway? Memories. Hand written notes. Journals. Awards. Toys. Clothes. Pictures. My life encapsulated in clear plastic. Does that mean then that I got rid of half of my life? No. It means I decluttered my history in order to remember only the important and meaningful. Did I get rid of some meaningful things? Yes. Was it difficult? Absolutely, but necessary.

You see, sometimes we hold onto items because we want to hold onto a person or we want to hold onto our young lives. The problem with those thoughts is that items won't bring people back or our youth. They clutter our lives, and we allow them to because they elicit strong emotions and memories. However, those strong emotions and memories will last long after an item leaves. This means that you may have to put in some effort to retrieve those memories, but it's better than letting an item collect dust due to ease of memory retrieval. Obviously, I didn't drink all the water I've been serving because the box is still half full. Let's see some of what was kept and what left....

Girl Scout paraphernalia is headed to the parents' house for my mom's sake

Agendas from high school through college years recycled

The sign that began it all is staying. My heart shouted too loudly to keep it.

(Side note: the misspelling of "hungry" is because he's homeless. I didn't know homeless people lack the ability to spell correctly)

A wedding invitation and necklace for my marriage that never happened. Invitation stayed, necklace went

(side note: Th necklace still works as The Hubs has the same birth month as JTT, and his birthday is a day before my first love's. Also, the date of the wedding in the invite is only a couple weeks off my actual wedding date. A bit too eery)

An exact engagement date. Journals are kept as my personal herstory books.

A painting for French class from a painter with no experience. It stays because I like it no matter how poorly painted it is.

Overall, I kept a mishmash of items like my journals, creative writing class papers, a super old bear, yearbooks, meaningful cards, funny old notes between friends, and a few awards. What left then? the majority of toys went to the boys to play with, which was maybe five small stuffies and a doll. Autographed gymnastics books will be sold (hopefully). Drawings by my Grandad, Girl Scout vests, and a porcelain carousel horse to my mom's house as she is much more sentimental than I will ever be. Gymnastics leotards, jewelry, and nick-knacks are headed to Goodwill. Agendas, gymnastics ribbons, random papers and cards, and a few awards are sitting in the trash or recycling.

Best of all? I gained a massive sense of release. Said good-bye to things that won't bring the "old me" back. Remembered who I used to be and still am. Found comfort knowing that I've known my true self for a very long time and had the guts to show it all throughout most of my teen years- a time when most are fighting to just fit in. I read old papers and comments from teachers and friends. It's hard for pride not to seep in when words like "non conformist" and "you are so strong" and "your voice is powerful and intelligent" are constant themes. Those memories in item form are needed at times like these when it's easy to forget why I write or who I'm writing for or who I really am. Thus, they stay. A powerful herstory to share with children and possibly grandchildren. Your mom did things, accomplished things, spoke without concern of ridicule. Your mom was pretty badass. And that's how I want to be remembered and remember myself. Maybe I'll purge even more. Maybe the box will amass even more as time leaves. Today, I'm glad to let go of faded hopes and items that don't replace memories. Mainly, I'm relieved to have memory-inducing items to frequently remind me of the love filling my life, the voice I've always had, and the passions I can still develop.

Do you have a memory box? Have you gone through it recently? Are there items you could never get rid of?

Minute Accomplishments

2011-09-18T16:05:00.000-07:00

Weekends come and weekends go. Rarely are things getting done around here other than the general cooking and cleaning and child-patrolling. This makes me go a bit berserk. I'm one of those "let's get things done!" people. To do lists scattered around. Items to complete projects stockpiled. But then all of that stuff sits, stays untouched, and nothing gets crossed off. The worse part? The vast majority of the "to-do's" are in The Hubs' arena. I could re-tile the kitchen floor and tub surrounds. I could replace some doors and baseboards. Granted, they may not turn out so pretty, but I could get the job done. However, both Hubs and I enjoy having things done "right," and unfortunately, I don't have those skill sets at the moment. So things sit around waiting and waiting and waiting. The "To-Do" list grows as does my frustration.

I can't say "hose holder" without giggling a little

Well, that frustration bubbled over this weekend. I had the flu (still!), but by Saturday I felt well enough to contribute more than holding down the couch. Meanwhile, Hubs wasn't up to doing much. Surprise, surprise. In the midst of frustration met with overcoming illness, I exploded into the typical wife rambling of, "You never do anything! I do blah blah blah blah..." so on and so forth. We all know this lecture. It was slightly warranted considering I was trying to rest and recover, but ended up doing a hell of a lot more than I should have been because Hubs was mopey. So yeah, let's slip some anger in there too. But much to my astonishment, he listened.

Secured

Although we only got a few things crossed off the list, those tiny accomplishments still feel like I've conquered Mt. Everest. I tend to be such a big picture person who also focuses on all the details that I often forget that little things getting done matter. This week? The screen for the patio door was replaced, the hose holder was anchored on the wall, the trampoline netting got screwed on, and the brick on our patio roof was finally rescued. It's not a new tub surround or kitchen floor, but it helps. Every tiny ounce of effort in the right directions should be appreciated. It's hard when you focus on the big stuff because those little things often get ignored. Today, I am choosing to enjoy those minute victories. A hose beautifully looped. A screen to provide intimacy. A safety net securing my boys. Those small things can surmount to much more if you let them. For me, it's a sense of serenity.

A tidbit of privacy

What about for you? What small accomplishments have entered your life today? Do you often forget about those little things and only focus on the big stuff?

Week 2: Money Saved!

2011-09-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

Going Local: Week 2 is well over by now, and might I add rather successful! We actually came out under budget by spending only $86.31! What did we get? At the farmer's market, we got fruits & vegetables ($19.25), cheese ($7), pita chips ($6), 1lb ground beef ($5), a whole chicken ($13), and a bottle of water for $1. Otherwise, I spent $4.35 on 3/4 gallon of local,organic whole milk at Fry's, and $30.71 at Whole Foods on local, organic pears,tomatoes, and hummus and some non-local electrolyte powder (needed it thanks to the flu!). If you take out the electrolyte powder since that's more of a medical thing, we saved even more!

How we roll...Noah just can't bear walking any further. If only The Chariot wasn't out of commission

Farmer's Market Bounty

However, I have to admit to a bit of a cheat. You see, because we are a member of the upper poor class, we more than qualify for WIC (Women, Infants, & Children). Basically, you receive monthly checks for certain items for the kiddos (under 5 years) or for pregnant or nursing mamas (but they'll only cover nursing moms up to a year boo). What do these checks include? A voucher for fruits and veggies, a voucher for certain proteins (eggs, milk, beans, cheese, and peanut butter), and a voucher for more milk and carbs (bread, rice, tortillas, juice, and cereal). It's not a lot of food, but it definitely helps out. For example, each boy gets $6 a month to spend on fruits and veggies. The best part? That voucher can be used on organic items AND at certain farmer's markets (this is the reason we applied for such a program). However, the rest of the food is the cheapest, but trying to be healthiest options. Another check example is each boy gets a dozen eggs, a pound of cheese, and a pound of dry beans or up to 16 oz of peanut butter. Ok, so I think everyone knows by now that I'm not about to put hormone & medication-laden dairy or eggs in the boys' bodies. That's where The Hubs enters. He's not a stickler about healthily raised animals v. the cheap stuff. He just loves his proteins. So eats eats the "junk" protein, and we save that money for the good stuff for the rest of us. Also, for the carb vouchers, we usually end up donating most of the cereals as they are full of sugar and corn (meaning N-dog can't eat them due to allergy). Anyhow, we used a couple of those checks this past week for non-local items. Despite the peanut butter not being organic (only the natural/ needs-to-be-stirred & refrigerated kind), it was still AMAZING. I am definitely missing all the nuts and nut products not available locally made. At the end of the day, in spite of WIC check using, I'd still call the week a success. We saved some dough, were grateful for another government funded program, and enjoyed every second of peanut butter bliss.

Are you shopping locally? If so, what do you buy? If not, what's stopping you?

Desiring

2011-09-15T22:32:00.000-07:00

Does being a minimalist mean I never desire things? Absolutely not. I don't believe desiring or wanting to acquire certain things is inherently bad. Can it be bad? Yes. It's all about where you are finding value in the items you are lusting after. Is it really going to be useful? Do you want it because it's the new, latest thing? Are you trying to keep up with a trend? I ask myself these things frequently as I mull over my list of wants (yes, I'm so analytical that I keep a list of wants put in various categories). I find my list of wants changes from time to time. I love to add things whenever they pop in my head, but end up crossing off a lot when I'm purging my wants list. But why a wants list, you ask? Mainly because I'm freakishly organized. Also because I like to know for certain what I truly want when possible gift getting scenarios come up. I'm not going to lie, I do love getting gifts. However, since I'm as stubborn as a mule, I like them to be exactly what I want. I know, I know, beggars can't be choosers. I've gotten a bit better with age. More accepting. More grateful. But at the end of the day, I hate extra crap sitting around that I know realistically I'll never use. Thus the wants list. You want an example? Here ya go!

Uber-Wants: Items that could really help out
-Money for bills

Would Like: Things that would be helpful, but I could technically do without
-Braces (as the last child, I got the shaft)
-Hand crank can opener
-Good blender
-Items for house renovations/ HELP with house renovations
-Meat thermometer

Just for fun: Items that truly aren't necessary, but I would thoroughly appreciate
-Car fixin' (body work, paint...oh yeah and for it to pass emissions)
-Classes (Latin dance, Modern dance, guitar, drums, voice, pottery, yoga, skateboarding)
-GRE prep books
-Gardening supplies (seeds, soil)
-New flats (as in shoes)

This is the part where people either say, "Wow, you have high hopes, Ms. Piggy," or "Really, how daft of you to give people a list." And I agree with both of those statements--to a degree. You see, you can't change people. We all know certain people that will give us gifts whether we ask/expect/want them to or not. My theory is that by giving them a list, maybe they will choose something I can actually use rather than something I will turn around and re-gift or give to charity. Plus, they can always choose not to get anything off the list, but at least I've tried.And if they choose no gift? That's perfectly ok too! I'd rather receive nothing than something I really don't want or can't use. Save your money, people.

Finally, I find my wants list is a way to keep me in check. When you are constantly writing down everything you want, it keeps you from just buying it initially. It forces you to sit and mull over these items. For example, I had a flat screen TV on there for well over a year. I yearned for it. Researched many. Almost bought one. Then, I got bored and moved onto something more important. We really don't need a new TV. All it's used for is Netflix and the occasional DVD. It works fine, although lacks a digital tuner. So why was it on the list for so long? A few reasons: they are pretty and sleek (and consequently take up less space & could get a smaller TV stand), they have digital tuners, and 90% of everyone I know has one. Somehow, I overcame all of that and accepted our 24" big ol' box television. Granted, I wouldn't turn down a flat screen if it magically appeared on my doorstep, but I won't be asking for one. And I definitely won't be spending any more time researching and pining over one. So maybe after all, a wants list isn't so vapid and shallow. It's a window into our immediate desires and forces us to look at them sternly to ensure we are following our own goals and aspirations of who we want to be and what's important to us. You can share it with no one. You can share it with the world. You can ask for the items as gifts. You can keep it as a list of what to save up for. Whatever the case may be, a wants list can be an invaluable tool towards dealing with desires without giving into them all.

Do you have a wish list? If so, what's on it? Do you ever find yourself longing for an item, but get over it the longer you wait? Let's share!

Closeted Mess

2011-09-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

We all have those spaces that we shove every random item when the doorbell rings unexpectedly. A kitchen drawer. Under the bed. Closets. For me, it's our hall closet. When I don't want to file things, they are placed in the closet. When I have items to sell, they go in the closet. When I have items to give away, they go in the closet. When there are things that don't really fit in anywhere, they go in the closet. It's pretty obvious what the state of this closet is like- a disaster. I try to tackle it a bit at a time. However, this last week while in a reorganization frenzy (while battling the flu no less), I got it done...at least until we have people over again.

Here's a look at the before:

A cluster-you-know-what

Yep, I just throw everything in & hope the door still closes.

And the after:

Breathing room

Books smooshed to one shelf. Hubs & his books, ugh

A little space was cleared out. Items were actually put away in their proper homes. And lots of things were reorganized. The top shelf for gift wrapping supplies. The shelf below for games. Next shelf for kid art supplies. Below is my entire office. And finally our one shelf of books (or should I say The Hubs' books, the family photos, and my ONE book). It looks clearer. Feels clearer. And hopefully done for now (although I'm aching to get rid of more books!)

P.S.- Sorry for picture quality. The closet is in a narrow hallway with horrible lighting. Also, the other side I didn't show? Just a vacuum, mop, step stool, and safe up top. Nothing new, different, or changed there unless you count tying the cords up all pretty and neat.

What's your messy spot? Have you tackled it yet or are you waiting?

Vagueness

2011-09-11T22:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie. I hate things that are vague. No clear cut answers. No end line. No stopping point. Definitions vary. Frankly, they suck. I majored in research-oriented majors for a reason. Facts. Support. Figures. Math. Statistics. Also known as things that avoid vagueness. But an area where you can't escape being vague? Labels. Like, "I'm a minimalist."

What the hell does that mean exactly? Am I a minimalist? Are you? If I am, but you're not, what's the difference. If you're not, but she is and has 20 more items than you, how do you define that discrepancy? Truthfully, there's really no answer to that. Most labels we give ourselves and others come from check-off lists we create based off stereotypes. Like me, most humans like to define things, give them labels. We like to organize and categorize things to better comprehend them. Thus, labels aren't bad per se. However, the trouble comes in when we get caught up in the labels. The things we list as the definition don't fit a particular person, so where does that leave us? Confused.

I'm finding this confusion a lot with minimalism. So I'm sure you all know by now, that I enjoy reading a good many minimalism blogs. No doubt about it. However, what I'm finding is a bunch of well intentioned advice about how to become a minimalist with a lot of vagueness. The suggestions are amazing--great jumping off points. But I'm always left wondering, where is the end point? Great, there's a lot of advice to get you started but little to none to tell you when you're done or when you've done "enough" to fit into this minimalist cookie cutter. And why is this important piece left out? Because that answer is up to you. I know, vague right?! A final truth too is that you may never be "done." People don't like that answer. As I said, we are drawn to things with completion points. Just like life, minimalism is about ebb and flow. Sometimes you will have more than you feel comfortable with. Other times, it will feel just right. And there may also be points where it feels like not enough. It's all about adjusting to those times and trying to reduce big dips in between. Like I said, just like life.

How does this self-labeled minimalist do it? Honestly, I'm in the process of learning to minimize the roller coaster dips and trying to make it more like sailing on calm waters--to only slight ups and downs over large ones. For me, it comes to guttural feelings. Does this feel like too much? Not enough? If so, what's causing that? I find I'm constantly reassessing where I'm at that a balance is never achieved. I think that's partly because I like change and have somewhat of a disdain towards the monotony that comes with balance. It's also probably because I'm young and am going through the whole transitioning into adulthood and figuring out where my values lie. However, I think these issues come up frequently in our lives depending what the current events of our lives are. Or maybe I'm just way too analytical.

My advice? Pare down until it feels right for you. Make sure you truly challenge your own beliefs about items. I find that is the hardest part. Few of us like to challenge ourselves like that. It's uncomfortable to be questioning what you believe at the core of your being. If you don't want to do that, ask someone who will AND that you will listen to. The listening part is most important. You know your mom will challenge you, but you also know that you're least likely to openly listen to her advice. Not a good choice. This is the main reason people hire professionals-they will push you but are unbiased. After you've gone through all the uncomfortable stuff and pared down, live life. See how it feels. Is it right? Is something still off? Just go with what your gut is feeling. Know that you are likely to feel good one day and uneasy the next. This is where knowing yourself well and being aware of your thoughts come in handy. It allows you to recognize the unease and solve what is causing it. And that's how it goes.

Pare down. Challenge yourself or get someone to push you. Know that there is no right number of items. Know that the right number for you will likely change your entire life. Know that minimalism doesn't come with a clear-cut definition. Know that it's a life long process and becomes a complete way of life.

Vague, it can be. Hopefully, I cleared this up a bit more. Now just to remind myself this, so I stop beating myself up over how much we still have...

Thank Goodness!

2011-09-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

Every morning I awake to a preschooler begging for "something crunchy." And every single morning, I have absolutely no clue what that would be. We ask him what that might be. We tell him to go look for it. Nothing is ever found, other than a tantrum. This is our daily routine at every single meal time. I kid you not. My kid has a food texture obsession. Oh joy.

This morning, we had to venture to our local farmer's market to keep up with the "going local challenge." It was early. I'm so not a morning person. Kids were unhappy. It's still hot and now way too humid. I just wanted to get this little expedition over with as quickly as possible. Hurriedly I walked with a stroller covered in bags and filled with a grumpy toddler and a sad-faced three year old slowly shuffling behind. Grabbed the fruits and veggies. Snagged the only chicken. All I heard was, "Maaawwwwwwwm! I NEED A DRINK!" over and over and over again. At least it wasn't him begging for something crunchy. All right, fine. I stopped and purchased a bottle of water since I was the rushed mom who forgot to bring the usual arsenal of child-specific supplies. I took a swig, so that he wouldn't spill it all over when he took a sip. Wrong choice. That made it my water. Not his. He couldn't drink it. Would not! After much deliberating, we walked on. Child still dying of thirst, but full of stubbornness. The cheese people. Yes, free samples! Not what these children wanted. I quickly made small talk, bought some cheese, and off we went. Hummus dude next. "Look, Noah, pita chip samples. No corn! You can eat them!" Begrudgingly, he took it from my hand. Stared at it angrily. Took a nibble. And another. And another until the whole piece was gone. "Crunchy chips! MOM! SOMETHING CRUNCHY! I WANT CHIPS!!" Usually, I don't give into demands of the tiny terrorists. But today? I had to. This over-priced box of pita chips was my ticket out of arguing every single day. Give a kid a pita chip and no more screaming. Hallelujah! You'd think we just solved the world hunger epidemic. We did, however, just solve the grumpy preschooler epidemic of this household. That's worth something.

Holding "something crunchy" that he paid for all by himself!

We solved another little problem today too. We got that kid to like going to the market. In fact, he's now begging to back. No more angry shuffling behind me (at least for a few hours). He got something crunchy. Both boys got samples. Vendors ooh'd and ahh'd over these boys, which led to even more samples. I guess all it takes is big blue eyes set to puppy dog mode to get what you want. And lots of something crunchy.

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Have you entered the "Win a Date with Minimalist Mommi" contest yet? No? I promise not to embarrass you in front of all your friends. I won't get mad when you roll your eyes at me. And you can even turn on the radio to a station you like. And because I'm that cool, I'm even on FaceBook too.

Win A Date With Minimalist Mommi!!

2011-09-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm not buying you dinner or taking you to a show. But I'd love to volunteer a day to help out a reader in the Phoenix Metro area.

Are you interested in minimalism and don't know where to start? Do you just want to pare down? Have a closet you've been meaning to tackle?

If so, I'd love to help! One reader will "win" a day of my paring-down services. You may choose to do a guest post about the experience, or I can write one up for you. If you'd like to enter, please leave a comment below explaining what you need help with! A winner will be chosen on September 27th. Unfortunately (or fortunately if you're a local), the contest is only open to residents of the Phoenix Metro area....unless you know, you'd like to pay my airfare and such. I'm open to that too ;)

Comment/beg/plead/laugh away!

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With What Is

2011-09-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a bit uninspired this week. There's a lull filling the space around me. Minor changes came and went. Life is just happening as it should. Contentment still, however, seems distant.

I've been reading quite a few minimalism blogs, and the theme of the week seems to be about slowing down and finding contentment in your current life. Slowing down? I'm trying, but it's hard when you live in a very fast-paced environment. I'm in no way a city girl, other than not liking having to drive hours to get places. Other than that slight convenience, cities are not a place I want to reside. Granted, I live in a suburban area, yet it's still very citified. Strip malls on every corner. Block fences for the track homes. Manicured fake landscaping everywhere you look. This is not a place I want to call home.

So why do I stay? Family. Friends. Money. There are many days where I dream about just throwing some shit in my car and driving far, far away. Not looking back. Just driving into the depths of trees and the song of the wind. Getting lost in a place that feels more like home. As it often happens, these daydreams I get lost in take a turn towards reality. That voice of reason rears it's ugly head and just has to ruin my fun by reminding me things like, a place like that costs $$$. Property is not cheap, especially if you want it to be far enough away from people, but close enough that it doesn't take two hours to get to the grocery store. Oh yeah, and I'm not a one-person family, so I sort of have to deal with the desires of the rest of the household. The Hubs? Not really a small town guy. Here I sit with a head full of dreams avoiding eye contact with that brick wall and knowing that my ideal contentment is far out of reach. The voice of reality is yet again winning this never-ending battle over desire and what is. What's a person to do?

Deal with what is. Look for the pros. Try and ignore the cons--or better yet try to make the cons into pros or neutrals. Today, that chore is a bit easier sitting in the cool breeze of a rare early afternoon shower and listening to the grumbling of the clouds hungry for more rain. Not so bad today, but tomorrow when the sun ropes us under it's unstoppable rays, I'll mentally run to the hills. When you're not where you want to be, make where you are okay for today. Life is completely malleable. It's true. Changing and contorting it to our liking is the hard part. Let's just do that when the time is more suitable. Until then, I'm trying to find those bits of contentment. Forcibly trying to slow down in a sped up town. Finding value and meaning in the current life I'm leading. And knowing that I always have the ability to change this reality when it's best suited for me and the rest of the household.

Are you content with today? Do you find yourself stuck daydreaming, then feeling frustrated when reality and the daydream don't match up? How do you plan future contentment while living contently through the process?

Quick Update

2011-09-07T10:18:00.000-07:00

I just switched to using Disqus comment platform. That would be why is looks like there are no comments. I assure you that all comments from the old Blogger platform are still there. I've read them all and appreciate them all! Disqus just allows me to reply to your comments more easily, so the switch occurred. Keep the comments coming! I love reading your stories and input.

And as always, thanks for reading :)

The Upper Poor Class

2011-09-06T21:43:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie--the topic of this post is mortifying. In this society, it's frowned upon to talk about being poor or how little you are succeeding financially. No one ever wants to admit that they get any form of government assistance. Rarely do people openly admit that they keep falling short every month. A happy face is slapped on while writhing inside from the financial pain. This phenomenon is becoming even more prevalent due to the economic collapse. I'd like to introduce you all to what I like to call the Upper Poor Class.

You see, the middle class in this country is diminishing at rapid rates. Even some who used to be considered Upper Middle or Rich are now falling far below. Those of us who were in that Middle Class are now dipping into this Upper Poor Class category. Let's see if you are a member. Do you own your house? Do you make your bills but barely? Do you own a vehicle? Do you utilize any government assistance program? Are you staying afloat, but barely? If you answered yes to these questions, you are a card-carrying member of the Upper Poor Class. And that includes us.

I think about this label a lot. On the surface, you may think we have it well off. We own our house. Have two cars. One child is in preschool. We have cell phones and Netflix. But what you don't see? We're struggling. Every single month. The Hubs' hours have been reduced forcing him to scrounge up any overtime shift possible. Preschool was added into the mix, so we have to find a way to add that into the budget. Why not just reduce some of your bills, you wonder. Surely preschool isn't a necessity and neither are Netflix, internet access, cars, or cell phones. You're right. Those aren't "necessities." However, they do add ease to our lives. Even with all of this, our bills tally a bit over $2100 each month for a family of four. What all does this include? Mortgage, cell phones, car insurance, food, gas for cars, electricity, water, preschool, Netlfix, internet, and random extras (i.e. going out, car issues, household supplies, etc.). You'll likely notice two things: no car payments and no health insurance payments. I hate borrowing money. I hate debt. That being sad, I choose to have a "ghetto" car just to avoid car payments. It needs some work and it ain't pretty, but hey, it works. Remember when I noted in the qualifications for Upper Poor Class members that one would utilize a government program? Ours is health insurance. Go ahead and make your socialist jests now. The Hubs does pay for health insurance, and we get dental through his work. But to pay for health insurance for our whole family? It's outrageous, like half our mortgage outrageous. Unfortunately, it's just not something we can afford at this moment, and we feel eternally grateful for all the taxpayers who are helping us out. So if you pay state taxes, thank you. This is how we relatively make our bills every month, a little help from some fellow residents and the rest by trying to reduce our budget as much as we can.

But do we have to live this way? Are we choosing to keep ourselves down? Yes and no. I worry about this issue a lot. I feel guilty for using government funded programs. I don't feel poor, and there are surely poorer people than me. However, we also can't afford another option. Some may be thinking that I should just buck up and get a job. I've thought the same thing too. I could get a part-time job for when The Hubs isn't working. I could get a full-time job and put kids in daycare. We already calculated out what my take home pay would be if I worked full-time, and frankly, they might as well pay me in beans. Childcare is understandably expensive. That leaves part-time work. If I were to take that on, it would mean that I get virtually zero time to be with my family. Also, that would put us in a higher income, and we would lose our health insurance. Thus, whatever money I would bring in would go straight back to paying for health insurance. Ain't that a bitch. It seems like no matter which way you look at it, we just can't get ahead. Money rules our lives, and we are, in turn, slaves to it. We know these years are hopefully limited. Kids will eventually be in school. The Hubs will hopefully get hired in his career path as a firefighter. I will hopefully make the leap and continue on to graduate school. But for now, things are hard financially. Looking in, we have it all. Look closer, and you can see the struggles emerge to the surface. And this is the tale of the Upper Poor Class.

What class do you belong to? How has the economic downturn affected your family? If you've had to reduce your bills, what did you give up? Would you choose to be poorer financially if it meant you would be richer in family and friends? Do you despise those who utilize government funded programs?

Caveat: Although things are tough money-wise, I'm immensely grateful for being able to stay home with my kids. They drive me nuts frequently, but these years are so limited before school. If it means a struggle for a few years in order to be the type of parent I'd hoped to be, it's worth it in the long run. That extra savings or "stuff" we could use extra money for with better incomes is nothing compared to the quality time I get to spend with my family by being a member of the Upper Poor Class.

New Method: Check It Out!

2011-09-06T13:17:00.000-07:00

I just added a new feature to ye olde blog: e-mail subscription. Check out the box on the right and feel free to subscribe by e-mail. Basically, this means you'd get an e-mail every time there's a new post. It's just another way to stay updated without having to check a reader. I know I check my e-mail much more than the reader. Join or not. I'm glad to have anyone here but whatever means work for them. So thank you. Truly.

Surrogates

2011-09-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

I was only a few months old when my surrogate safety net entered my life. He snuggled me every night. Attended sleep overs. Comforted me when I was down. Traveled across the country. Moved from house to apartment to apartment to house. He was the only one ever really there for me. 24/7. No questions asked. But this surrogate? He was just a blanket. Yellow and white crocheted in waves. Only slight pilling even after 25 years of washing and drying, washing and drying, washing and drying. Colors mildly fading. His warmth never stops. His care never stops. His security never stops. His comfort never stops. My infant surrogate turned childhood surrogate turned teen surrogate turned adult surrogate. One single item supplied a range of emotions that are expected of humans. Welcome to our early learned attachment to stuff.

Today, I was again looking for items to purge from my life when I happened to spot Blankee (yes, he has a name and gender) splayed on our bed. I looked at this mass of intricately placed yarn and realized where my attachment to "stuff" came in. This single thing catapulted me into a life of placing value in inanimate items. Giving them emotions. Giving them meaning. Allowing them to stay in my life because I believed that they were all I had to fall back on. When everyone else left, who was there to stay with me? Who never left unless I asked them? Items. What was I really wanting? Human relationships. And the vicious cycle continued until today when I chose to give up my best friend who has been through everything with me. I gave Blankee to a small strawberry-blonde haired boy with a gappy-tooth grin. Someone who was small enough to benefit from his warmth. But was I just setting him up to go through the whole process of being attached to stuff all over again? Of this, I am not sure. And so I thought and thought and thought some more. This is what I came up with...

Unconsciously, most of us want our tiny babies to become attached to items. When pregnant, moms are often asked what they will attach their baby to. A pacifier? Blanket? Stuffed animal? You must have something. Every child needs to be attached to some thing. And I bought into it. All of it. I bought the pacifiers and blankets and stuffed animals. Worked and prayed to get my kids to attach to something, anything to just calm them down and make my job easier. What I am now realizing? I was replacing myself willingly. You see, animals don't become attached to items. How often do you see a chimp running around in the wild with a stick all day? When do you see a wolf pup taking a bunny carcass to bed every night? Rarely. It does happen on occasion, but it's not the norm like it is for humans. Why? It's not that they couldn't attach to something, it's that they don't need to. They have their mothers there 24/7 to supply all needs of comfort. Surrogates are only used when an infant animal is abandoned or the mother dies. So why don't us humans do the same thing? I think it comes down to two things--selfishness and patience. I am, without a doubt, someone who wants and needs a lot of personal time. Any parent will tell you that this is near impossible when you have kids, especially young kids. How do you then remedy a strong desire for a lot of personal time with being a parent? Frankly, I'm still trying to figure that out. But what I'm realizing? In the process of trying to figure that out, I've started the train of item attachment for my children. One has Blue Blankee. One has "Deeeee" or better known as pacifiers. I use them when I don't want to spend three hours laying in bed trying to coax them into slumber. I use them when they are sick or scared or angry or tired. Instead of dealing with those needs, I've given them stuff to love. No wonder we adults value items so much--we were conditioned to at extremely young ages.

Is there a real solution though? This is no endorsement of the whole "attachment parenting" theory. This is all about what we want our children to value. I want our children to feel secure that their parents will provide them the emotional support needed. However, I also want them to be independent and learn how to deal with negative emotions on their own. But is giving them a pacifier or blanket really teaching them independence or more reliance? And reliance and value in "things"? I'm truly starting to believe I've gone about these goals a bit wrong. Granted, I can't force them to not be attached to items, but I can try everything to give them a sense of independence that comes from within rather than from an inanimate object. Plus, I will be forcing myself to decrease my selfishness and increase my patience. It seems like a tricky situation--be an available parent, but not too available where they can't learn independence...but available enough that they won't seek out comfort from random objects. A fine line, no?

I can't start over, unless, you know, I decide to get knocked up again (hahahhahha NO!). What I can do is try to foster their independence, attend to their emotional needs, teach them how to deal with emotions. And slowly start pulling away the items. It sounds great in theory. Let's see how this plays out in practice.

Have you given your child an item to attach to? If not, did they find something anyway? If so, how do you handle it? Let's share.

Going Local: Week 1

2011-09-04T15:30:00.000-07:00

Week one of the local-only grocery shopping is almost complete. And boy, did I learn some lessons. Take a look at what we purchased for $89.

-Grass-fed, locally raised beef (ground, roast, fajita strips): About 4.5 lbs for $43
-Shamrock Farms organic milk: $4.29
-Shamrock Farms organic sour cream: $1.99
-Crow's Dairy original chevre: $5
-Doctor Hummus vegan spinach artichoke dip: $7
-9 baby apples, 6 peaches, 2 monster carrots, 5 plums, 1 head of Romaine lettuce, 20ish cherry tomatoes, 1 onion, 1 cantaloupe: $20
-Made By Bees Black Cherry jam (not pictured...oops): $8

Yeah, so that's not a lot of food for four people for an entire week. We still have yet to get our eggs for the week, so will have $3 left over. What did we leave out? Carbs. What do I generally buy at a grocery store? Carbs. Thankfully, we do have bread in the freezer, a couple boxes of crackers and tortilla chips in the pantry, and the general pasta and rice. All of that should hopefully tide us over until next week. Plus, I can always make tortillas or cookies or bread or any other carbalicious deliciousness I desire. You'll also notice that we didn't get much in the way of veggies. Firstly, there wasn't much of a selection today. Since our summer decided to extend well into the 110's at the end of August, the crops have suffered. This is reality when you shop locally- you have to deal with weather-induced crop issues. Plus, we have a stock-pile of frozen veggies to get us through the week. However, I was surprised by the available fruit, so stocked up on that instead of veggies. And I know my kids will actually eat the fruit. Veggies? Not so much. That's toddlers for you.

My main issue with this local buying? The price of meat. As a vegetarian, it's something I never thought about. Since my car needed work this past weekend, I had to go at it alone at the farmer's market. I highly suggest never leaving a vegetarian in charge of meat shopping. I had no clue if the beef was a good price or not. As for the cuts of meat? Yep, no clue about that either. I purchased some things I had actually heard of and knew could be made into simple meals. Still, that tiny amount of meat almost cost half of our food budget. Not cool. Thankfully some mom friends led me to cheaper, local grass-fed beef vendors, so hopefully we won't run into the same problem next week. Other than the near heart attack from the meat buying experience, I did decide to shell out a pretty penny for some vegan spinach artichoke dip and jam. I know these things are over-priced. But I'm hoping that by reducing the processed foods we buy and making more, it will cover that price hike.

Are there foods I already miss? Yes! The Hubs already said that we'd have to make some exceptions this month, like for avocados, bananas, and peanut butter. I obviously didn't think this challenge through because we ran out of all three by day two. My mom was gracious enough to give us the rest of her open organic peanut butter jar for the boys. Truthfully, I'm not quite sure how people could be healthy vegetarians back in the day when they had to buy everything locally. The only non-meat protein sources I found were eggs and dairy. Eggs are great, but what about beans, nuts, and soy?I already miss them dearly.

We're barely one week in and already know this little challenge means a huge change in diet. Albeit, a good change, but drastic nonetheless. I guess it's time to start cooking...and rationing out the few crackers left. Goodbye carbs, hello veggies! Let's see how this progresses...

Challenge du Mois: September

2011-09-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

It's a new day. A new month. Thus, it's time for a new challenge. And what better way to finish off the last challenge but to veer in the complete opposite direction. Ok, so you might be thinking that I focus on food a lot. And I do. Why? Food is an absolute necessity. It nourishes our body. It eats up a big chunk of the budget. It's something that has to be consumed. Last month, we discovered how we can all save a few bucks buying some natural and organic processed foods. However, these come at the price of being low in nutritional value, requiring shipping, and containing lots of packaging. So how to avoid a lot of that?

Buy local.

And that is exactly what I will be purchasing for the whole month of September. 100% of what we purchase will be locally grown or made. We are striving to buy the least amount of pre-made local foods as their ingredients aren't usually locally sourced. What's left to buy and eat then? Lots of fruits, vegetables, dairy, eggs, and meat. You know, the healthy stuff we all know we should be eating. I imagine this will be a tricky challenge. We love bananas. And avocados. And sugar. None of which I have yet to find at any farmer's market or in Whole Foods with their large, bright "LOCAL" sign attached to it. However, we will allow ourselves to eat what we already have in our pantry. This should help a bit. Although we tend to keep a pretty bare fridge, freezer, and pantry, we generally keep staples like flour, pasta, rice, and beans.

In this challenge, not only will I be supporting local growers and companies, but I will be forced to abstain from laziness and make food. Part of what drew me to the extreme couponing challenge was that I could find ways to buy more processed foods --the foods I crave and adore. I am now forcing myself to escape my comfort zone to try new foods and cook more. The old school housewife duty. Bringing it back old school style. Like in the time of our great grandparents who didn't have an option not to cook or buy local foods.

But what about your meager $100 week food budget, you're all thinking. It can work shopping locally. I've tested this theory a few times over the last year. It just means you have to put more work into your grocery shopping. After attending a few, I've found that the processed foods are the priciest. We typically spend the majority on protein sources. The fruits and vegetables seem pretty comparably priced to the grocery stores. Plus, you often get the option of buying a small amount instead of a whole bag of pears, potatoes, etc., allowing for less food waste to amass. Since it's hard to know what will be at any farmer's market, it makes menu planning near impossible. Instead, I get a few different things and Google search recipes with said ingredients once home. It's a fun endeavor, but can be costly if a recipe is crap.

If shopping locally wasn't challenging enough, I added to it. Why shop at a farmer's market when you can grow the food in your own backyard? I've always wanted my own garden-- in theory. The few times I've tried to garden, everything ended up dead or a cat would decide to use that area as a litter box no matter what we did to avoid it. Well, I'll try, try again. This month will also be spent getting our own little garden planted and cat-proofed. Fortunately, our house came with empty gardens. All we need to do is replace the soil, plant some seeds, and water. And continually remember to water it--that's the part I typically fail on.

So there you have it. A new month. A new challenge. Food again prevails as the topic du mois.

Want to join in, but don't want to dive in? Why not get your toes wet by visiting a local farmer's market. Try a few things. Maybe you'll like them. Maybe you won't. But at least you've tried something new and helped out your local economy.

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Like what you're reading? Want more random ramblings? "Like" Minimalist Mommi on FaceBook. There are also free coupons from the previous challenge. Please let me live vicariously through the great bargains you'll get on food I can't buy this month.

Back to Life: Challenge Overview

2011-09-01T18:15:00.000-07:00

In case you're just tuning in for the first time, I was challenged to become an extreme couponer for the month of August. I chose to purchase only natural and/or organic products, spend $100 of my own cash, and donate every single item purchased to the St. Mary's Food Bank Alliance. Here are the results...

226 items. $102.70 total. Average item cost $0.44. Retail price $450+. 78+% savings. In the words of the oh-so wise Charlie Sheen, WINNING! And I did. Let's take a gander at the pros and cons of such a challenge, shall we?

PROS:

- Throughout this process, I was concerned, SUPER concerned, that I would not be able to get enough coupons for natural and organic items. This was not the case. I was fortunate to find two great blogs that linked to coupons. Also? They linked the coupons to deals at various stores. Granted, I occasionally found the sales to be different in my neck of the woods, but they led me to stores that I hadn't considered looking at. Thanks to them, I am now a huge fan of Sunflower Market, a place I may have not ventured to otherwise.

-In the month, I also learned where the best deals in the valley are. Which stores carry X item at the best price without a sale. Some extreme couponers make a spreadsheet for this sort of information. I just clocked it all mentally. Now I know where to get some of my regular items much cheaper.

- I found that some companies live up to their "good company" hype. Ok, so just because a company didn't send me coupons doesn't mean that they are a "bad company." I was just happy to find some very friendly companies, like Barbara's Bakery and Clif Bar. It shows me that even big names can still have a sense of community and friendliness.

- As I suspected, I was able to support my claim that natural and organic items CAN be just as affordable as those similar "junk" items.

CONS:

-TIME! Seriously, extreme couponing takes a LOT of time and dedication. I was always scouring for new coupons. Then they have to be printed and cut. Finally, you have to trek to various stores to use said coupons since nothing will all be at one store. There was a lot of driving involved. And hauling two small children in and out of cars in 110 degree weather. Not how I wanted to spend my time.

- Processed food, whether organic, natural, or otherwise, is still processed food. I think we all know by now that processed food generally has very little nutritional value. Yet, it is the majority of most people's diets in this country. I tried to get more nutrient dense foods, especially towards the end of the experiment. The last $15 was spent solely on dried beans and brown rice. Even without coupons, these items average $0.70 a piece and will provide healthier meals and more meals than that box of cereal.

-GREED. In the end, extreme couponing is greedy. I often read extreme couponers' blogs who encouraged readers to "take handfuls of coupons." I complied while at Sunflower Market. It felt icky. I still feel icky about it. I just keep telling myself that it's going to the hungry, so it's ok. Right? At least that's what I tell myself.

-Since the majority of the coupons are for processed foods, that in turns means extra packaging. And this in turn means more resources utilized to create that packaging, ship it all, and more waste from the packaging. Highly processed= highly wasteful.

CONCLUSION:

Throughout this whole month, I felt very uneasy about this little challenge. Amoral, if you will. I tout living with less and here I am amassing large quantities of food. At least, I can say that it's going to a good cause. But still the guilt lingered. I couldn't quite put my finger on why I have so much disdain for extreme couponing until today. This whole phenomenon is mirroring how our economy got to how it is. And it's funny because this whole extremity is coming from these economic woes. You'd think we would learn from our mistakes. It looks like we are just transferring it to another area of life. Let me explain...

I think we can all agree that the economic downturn is pretty much the result of greed. On an individual level. On a corporate level. On a governmental level. We took too much. More than what was needed. The same can be said with extreme couponing. People are taking more coupons than needed. Buying more food than needed. Becoming organized hoarders who are applauded rather than institutionalized. Isn't that what we did with the economy? Flaunted the bigger houses and cars and appliances. Flaunted our economic successes. Flaunted our amazing country's "super power" name. We all know what happened next. A huge wake up call. My question is when will this wake up call come to the extreme couponers? When there are more hungry people begging for food and you see your garage full of mustard and canned soup? It's got to end. Balance is needed.

Take only what you need. This is the lesson from this whole challenge. By all means, use coupons to your advantage. Save your family some money. However, do so within reason. Don't hoard the coupons. Don't hoard the food. Share. Make sure that when you see a stack of coupons at a store, take one or two, not a handful. Allow someone else to enjoy the deal too. And that room you kicked your kid out of to make an extended pantry? Keep a realistic amount from that. Donate the rest. Yes, I'm sure you can use it all. But is that really what you want to be pumping into your body for months? Do you really want to see all that packaging back in the landfill? Stop. Think. And please, take only what you need.

And that's that. I'm looking forward to some deals now and then and still have a small stack of coupons.But I'm mainly looking forward to the gained time now that I don't have to spend my time becoming something I am not.

Stay tuned as the next Challenge du Mois will be announced tomorrow. Have an idea? There's still time to send one my way!

Going Into Overtime

2011-08-31T22:26:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to say much. And that's mainly because I still have $15 to spend to finish this Green Extreme Couponing Challenge off. For today, I'll leave you with a picture--one that cost $21.80 and contains over 100 items. Yes, that's right, over 100 items. Enjoy.

Beyond

2011-08-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about this a lot. Where do I want this blog to go? Go deeper? Keep it light? Recipes? Money saving? What's really going on? Then I read series like "What I Want You To Know" on Rage Against the Minivan or posts like this from Brave Girls Club. And it becomes clearer. I need to go beyond. Beyond the sarcastic mask. Beyond the steals at Fry's. Beyond that homemade recipe for whatever. I need to speak the truth.

Originally, I started this blog with the intention of getting a lot readers and making some money. I figured that I liked to write, and I saw other moms doing it, so why the hell not? Plus, I may be having to pull in my own income soon anyway, so it was the perfect way to make some money and be able to continue my current full-time position as a stay-at-home-mom. Then, I started reading other blogs. And the neural juices started flowing. And I yearned to use those connections and all this education I worked my whole damned life for. I was a trained thinker, and being a stay at home parent didn't often put those skills to their full usability. I needed a thinking outlet. I needed to express some of those ideas that were kicked off by reading a simple blog post by another.

It then came less about the money and readers and more about spewing all of this neural garbage swarming in my skull. Things got a bit deeper around here. As an MTV show so easily puts it, "...when people stop being polite, and start getting real." Welcome to my own version of Real World. But frankly, that's what I've been needing. Someone to talk (er, write) to. Someone to listen. If that someone is me just re-reading what I needed to purge from my head, great. If some others came along for the ride, well I hope they enjoy it. But this is for me now--to get out what needs to be said. To be me. Taking off the mask to expose my heart.

I started doing this on another blog, but really went into the abyss. I got embarrassed. I got sheepish. I put the mask back on. And quit. Right after I'd post, it was cathartic. A few days after, and all I could think was, "Did I say too much? Will people still accept me? Like me?" So I got swallowed up by fear, yet again, and stopped exposing myself. Truthfully? I need to be honest. To you. To myself. I know a lot of people aren't "sharers" (ahem, The Hubs), but I hope that by exposing so much on the interwebz, I can even encourage a few to share in more intimate settings. Plus, I get the space to get it all out there. Clear my mind via typed word. Free therapy in a sense.

I truly hope to see you all around as I continue this journey. There will likely be more fluff from time to time. But don't be alarmed when you keep finding more raw emotion and over-thought ideas. For those sticking around, I truly appreciate it. I hope I can encourage you to do the same in your lives, even just showing someone a bit more of your true self. That's how we connect. That's how we end our prejudices. That's how we come together.

And yes, I'm probably a bit of a hippie too.

Summer Time Blues

2011-08-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

Like almost every kid, I excitedly awaited the arrival of summer all year long. Sleepovers. Living in the pool. Sleeping in. Sneaking junk food all day. Vacations. Who wouldn't love summer? Oh yeah, parents.

And one of the worst places to be a parent of young children during the summer? Arizona. If your kids are anything like mine, they adore playing outside. But when it's 110 degrees out? Not an option. This leaves us stuck indoors almost all of our waking hours. I wanted a small house. Still do. But these children? They need it to be full of jumping spaces, climbing structures, and plenty of space to run all day. 1200 square feet isn't cutting it. There's always the option of heading to indoor play areas. However, the owners of those places understand the dire need for them, so charge accordingly. There's also libraries, but those really aren't the place for kids to run around and scream at the top of their lungs. So that leaves errand running, friends' houses, and our home. Remember how I noted that it's well into the 110's at the end of August (and most of the rest of the summer)? Well, imagine a car in that heat. Kids? They don't want to sit in the scalding car seat that has almost no access to the air vents. Really, I don't blame them. Even with car seat coolers (basically schmancy covers filled with ice packs for all you non-AZ people), the car is no comfortable place to be. I often find that just walking from the car to the store is enough to have all of us sweating and red-faced. You'd think we ran there. Now, leaving the house has been eliminated too, just for the sheer heat factor of a simple car ride. What's left? Our meager abode. You want to know why I wanted this property in the first place? The yard. Well, this yard that I so desperately yearned for sits empty all day. No trampoline jumping. No mud castles. No rock digging. No climbing and sliding. Just dead space begging for a friend. We'd love to fill that space with noisy children and an open back door. I dream of it daily. Maybe the weather would like to cooperate and, you know, get below 100 degrees any time soon. Then we can stop going stir crazy. And I can stop having to come up with creative ideas of how to keep kids active, busy, and happy without the aid of Netflix and with the aid of the few toys I sparingly kept. I know, I know, you're all thinking that I should stop my complaining because once December rolls around, we'll be living outside in 70 degree weather. But for now, let me ruminate in these summer time blues. And pray for a Culture Pass, so we can head to an indoor playground for free.

Conceding

2011-08-28T14:19:00.000-07:00

Marriage can be filled with friendship and bonding. But truthfully? Sometimes it means war--and wars over pretty ridiculous, meaningless items with hints of meaningful undertones. This week it all revolved around a bathroom scale.

You see, I've been purging the house as if we were getting ready to move into a tent. I just wanted it all gone. The Hubs? He does not share that mentality, which is fine (or I'm trying to make it fine in my own head). An item I've been thinking about getting rid of is our trusty bathroom scale. A simple glass digital scale that has yet to leave it's perfect accuracy or need a new battery in the almost six years we've owned it. It's functional, yes. But to me, it was an omen beckoning to further diminish my self-esteem. Maybe most feel this way about scales. Maybe it's just me. That rectangular glass thing held a lot of me in it, whether I liked it or not. Unlike most, I've been praying to gain some weight. Trusty scale was there to lift me up when a pound was gained. Mainly, it was there to berate me as I continually failed at gaining any amount steadily. It's a rectangular sign of failure that laughs at me when I am first waking up for the day. It's still there sneering and jeering as I brush my teeth before bed. "Come hither, Megyn. Step on me. I dare you." I listen, but only to hear, "Hahahaha! See you're failing. You're the skinny, anorexic-looking little being that's withering away. FAIL!" Not quite the message I want as I try to enter a calm, relaxing slumber. So my remedy? Get rid of the damn thing. I begged, asked, reasoned with The Hubs. It wasn't his enemy. It's not his fault, it's mine. And as hard as it is to hear that your enemy will not be allowed to leave your life, you realize he's right. It's not his fault. And he shouldn't have to "suffer" for it.

This is where I conceded. Said ok, and realized I had some work to do. You see, items have meaning because we give it to them. The scale is just a simple measurement tool. I allowed it to take on a spirit, a voice. That number it so quickly brings up is just a simple measurement. It doesn't hate me, that scale or that number. Realistically, I let that simple piece of glass and wires tell me off. Beat me down. But it was all me, yet again, allowing an inanimate object take on the voice of so many I know and what I have allowed myself to believe because of those comments. I have now been forced to deal with such negativity about my image all because I'm stuck with a bathroom scale. Concessions may not be fun or what you think you need, but, as I am finding, they may be necessary to lead you to the real issues at hand. Meaningful undertones surfaced. Meaningless item stays. And I promise to ignore the little voice I give it. Or change it...maybe to a more Mr. Hankey-like voice. That should do the trick, right?!

Almost Done: Week 3 Recap

2011-08-27T14:25:00.000-07:00

One week. One week. Only one more week of this gig. In case you haven't been reading, I'm talking about the Green Extreme Couponing Challeng where I try and coupon it up on "green" items for charity. I'm a little past week three and am more than ready for this challenge to be over. I'm biting my tongue and holding all my thoughts in until the finale next week. That means, I should make this quick. Here are the Week 3 details:

- 5 West Soy soy milks: 4 @ $0.94 and 1 @ $0.99 ( 4 $0.55 & 1 $0.50 coupons)
- 4 Soy Dream soy milks: $1.29 each (2 $1 off any 2 coupons)
- 3 Horizon Organics chocolate milk: $0.66 each ($1 off 3 coupon)
- 4 EnviroKidz cereal: $1.49 each (on sale at Fry's)
- 3 Earth's Best letter cookies: $1.69 each ($0.55 off coupon doubled for each at Fry's)
- 1 Garden of Eatin' chips: $1.89 (had a coupon, but apparently was for some obscure store; thus couldn't be used)
- 3 EnviroKidz crispy rice bars: $1.49 each (on sale at Fry's)

The total for the week was $29.30 for 23 items, with the average item price at $1.27 each. Ok, so that's over my average, but I knew the under a buck average would have to be thrown out at some point, especially since I'm running low on coupons for lower priced items. However, the overall average is still below a dollar. Thus far, I have 86 items for only $63.35. A little less than $37 to go, and it's done. All I have to accomplish is obtaining 15 items for $37, and I'm golden. Food for St. Mary's Food Bank Alliance. The average item less than a buck. All items considered natural and/or organic. Mission accomplished.

For now, that's about all I have to say on this challenge. Check back next week for the real deal about this whole thing beyond a quick picture and simple math. Oh yeah, and I get to announce the next challenge.

Hop On Over

2011-08-25T15:23:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of being featured on Tasmanian Minimalist today. If you haven't checked out her blog, please do. Seriously, not only does she have some rad style, but her story is pretty amazing. And she makes me want to move to Australia. Feel free to hop on over! My guest spot can be found HERE.

Other End of the Spectrum

2011-08-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

We all know the saying that stuff does not buy you happiness. Would that imply that not having stuff, getting rid of stuff, buys happiness? That's what we minimalists are made out to believe. Get rid of stuff. Clear some physical space, which will, in turn,make room for mental space to be cleared. Sounds promising, doesn't it? I've bought into that theory for a long, long time. Although, I believe it can be true, I think we are forgetting a huge point here, stuff or no stuff, we all need to f-in clear our minds already. Ok, so I'm really talking to myself here.

You see, I'm way on the other end of the spectrum. I would get rid of every single thing I own or just about in order to obtain that clarity of mind. The thing is? It doesn't exactly work that way. Yes, I do feel like I have a clearer mind when space is uncluttered. However, constantly getting rid of more and more does not in fact equate to things becoming better mentally.

I've had a really shitty week. Some ups. Mostly a lot of pain-staking lows. A lot of tantrum-filled kids. Very little sleep. Future promises thrown in the trash and spat on. My first migraine. Like I said, a general shitty week. My solution was to just keep purging this place. Cleared off a shelf. De-cluttered some drawers. My mind? No clearer. The stress? Only growing. So if having stuff does not equate to happiness and getting rid of stuff does not equate to happiness...and clearer minds. What does?

Balance. Such a simple, but confusing idea. How do we know when we are balanced? One person's idea of balance is surely not another's, so how is this balance thing calibrated? I really don't know. I'm trying to achieve this vague "balance", but am not quite sure what all needs to be balanced, what goes on each side, and how to know when everything is just so. All I do know is that quite obviously things are very off balance. I suck at taking care of myself (ex: stress-induced illnesses and subsequent substandard weight). I suck at saying no to others. I'm fantastic at taking on too much. I'm fantastic at putting my kids' physical needs before my own. I'm fantastic at letting myself get to such a low point where I have no other option other than to beg for help, and that's only because it's for the kids' safety (like when I'm passing out all the time). It takes me to days like today where I feel myself screaming HELP! to anyone who will hear--only having to sheepishly admit that I do this to myself. Because this balance thing is freaking confusing and feels near impossible to figure out when you are a mother to two very young children. So where do I go from here, other than bitching on this blog with a "woe is me" tale in which I am the cause?

Little things. Simple, tiny things that may surmount to larger changes. Tip-toeing up the steps towards balancing the scale between self v. marriage v. job. motherhood v. house manager. Here's the thing, I know some steps I ~~could~~ should be taking to get back on track towards being balanced. The hard part is in enacting them. And I think that's why I go straight towards getting rid of things. It's the easy, albeit wrong, answer to solving my balance issue. It's that surface solution, just like with my supposed dairy allergy. The quick fix. So I guess what this really means is that I need to gain some patience and more thorough analysis of the situation at hand. That is the cornerstone piece to my balance puzzle. See? Not something I can acquire or get rid of physically. And this is where I think the battle over stuff v. mind ends. No matter how much or how little we have, it ultimately is up to us doing a more thorough analysis of our own thoughts to get what we are looking for. Have 50 purses or one--just don't blame the cluttered mind on objects. Blame yourself (isn't that so nice of me to say?!). It's not stuff, it's you...or in this case me. All me.

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Monday: A Mother's Tale

2011-08-22T23:31:00.000-07:00

As I awake to the sound if high-pitched screaming,
I clench my teeth, I'm already steaming
All I want is a little shut eye.
Oh why must these children cry?

The covers are off, my feet on the floor
Shuffling as I go. I finally reach the door
To aid the tiny screaming one
when his brother runs up ready for fun.
But it's 7 am. I already feel done.

"Up" he signals, gesturing to the sky
Big brother chimes in that he's ready to try
"something crunchy" for breakfast today.
This is really not a game I want to play-
Guess the correct food in this category.
But this is what comes with the territory
of being a mom at home non-stop.
You've got to play chef, friend, and cop.
Now it's "something smooth." Yogurt it is.
Thankfully, I'm now done with that little quiz.
Two bowls on the table. One for each.
"I don't want pears. I only want peach!"
The war is now on over breakfast fruit.
I find it frustrating. He thinks it's cute.
The battle waged on 'til I conceded.
He wouldn't eat any fruit, as much as I pleaded.
He did eat the yogurt and so did the baby.
The aftermath, though, makes me think just maybe
this will be the day they clean up their mess.
Then I remember that's a job for a dog named Tess.
She licks them clean-fingers, bowls, and toes.
And finally this brings breakfast to a close.

I now smell poop. Off to wipe a butt.
Once clean, he runs off like a nut.
Screeching, smiling, dancing around
More of an act you'd expect from a clown.
I just ignore him. Bare butt and all.
Because I know he'll do anything to stall.
Onto big brother who's begging for a show.
The one with the elephant. Of course, I know.
It's on. I sit and breathe a sigh of relief
even though I know it's only a minute before someone has beef.
He took my spot. He stole my ball.
He pushed baby and made him fall.
The crying resumes. The break is over.
Damn it , TV, I thought you would cover
this time in between awake and asleep.
Help quiet these kids, not even a peep.
Instead I console and talk about feelings
and try to remember to follow my inklings
that this is motherhood, like it or not.
It's only Monday, in case you forgot.

Back to full-time, no help from Daddy.
It's only Monday, and I miss him badly.
So he can be the jungle gym, not my small frame
with two small monkeys of which to tame.
And lunches and dinners and snacks in between.
And tiny bottoms which need to be clean.
Along with the house. Don't forget about that too.
Really, there's always something to do.
Welcome to Monday. One day down.
At the end of all this, I deserve a crown.
It may not be glamorous, and there is no pay,
but "I love you, Mommi" is all they have to say
to turn this first of the week into a really great day.
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Like A Branding Iron

2011-08-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

Branded. We all are in a sense. Slave to businesses. Everything has a brand. Even us bloggers are our own brand. Like a herd of cattle, we have been stabbed with the scorching iron. But is it the worst thing?

That's the impression I've been getting lately from quite a few fellow minimalism bloggers. I get it. I do. But really only to a certain extent. I understand the frustration with businesses constant poking to get us to buy their junk. It's non-stop. Bombardment. However, are we buying everything that is being thrown in our face? No. Obviously, we are immune to quite a few of their ploys. A lot of people like to make it out that if you don't reject every aspect of marketing, you will be putty to the businesses. You have failed. Advertisers seem to be right up there with Satan. I often hear the argument that most reject buying brands and TV's and anything with any sort of marketing because they feel the attempts to grab their attention insults their intelligence. What's really happening is that these arguments are insulting everyone else's intelligence too. It's as if they are making the assumption that people who buy certain brands or own a TV or who choose to stare at ad campaigns are being sucked in. I personally like to think that we are all generally smart enough to realize that ads are, well, just ads. Something to grab your attention and maybe get you to consider a product. Does that mean you drop everything and rush to the store? No. We make conscious decisions. Does that mean we never fall into a trap of an ad? No. But that doesn't mean we are complete lemmings. We all get persuaded from time to time to do anything. Everyone is a marketer in some way. Whether it be about the food they eat or the religion they follow or how they raise their children. Everyone is a walking billboard, whether they like it or not.

This is a concept I've struggled a lot with in regards to this blog. If I do a giveaway, does it mean I'm one of those bloggers who is just trying to sell their blog through free stuff? When I mention I like certain things (have you not discovered all my odes?), does that mean I'm ditching minimalism to support consumerism? If I sell some ad space, am I moving in a spot closer to Satan? I've often wondered how all of this fits in with my morals. I have been torn. On the one hand, I firmly believe that every person is capable of finding the right things for them without my suggestions. I also don't want to encourage people to run out and buy stuff for not much of a reason. However, we all have to consume. We need to buy food. Cleaning supplies. Clothes for ourselves and kids. Furniture. And the list goes on. Shouldn't we make informed purchases rather than spur of the moment ones? I find that I'm more likely to purchase and item if I know people who also purchase it and highly recommend it. Our society loves sharing their feelings on products and services so much that there are several sites dedicated to just that. I also know that if I had a friend trying to make an income off a really cool, useful product, I'd want to help her out. Isn't that in a sense all marketing is? Some things end up on a huge scale. Some on a really small one. There will always be crappy stuff trying to be pawned off on us. But like I said, we are all capable of doing the research to see through their false claims. And those who choose to live in ignorance? Well, that's their choice to make.

It seems like a confusing subject. To be or not to be advertised. That is the question. Do I uphold an extremely minimalist approach and just go with the fact that I will make no money on this blog? Or do I become a choosy advertiser, accepting sponsorships and paid ad space for companies I believe sell good, useful products? I'm leaning towards the latter. I need money to put food on the table and pay for health insurance and preschool and such. Money is, unfortunately, an undeniable necessity in this life. Will I be selling out? I like to think not. It's all about being a conscious consumer and conscious advertiser. I like to think that I won't make you all feel pushed into buying products. My goal would be to merely suggest things that I've found work for me and are of use. Like I said, we all have to consume, so why not buy something that is trusted by others over just something you saw that looked cool on TV. Not that I have companies knocking on my door asking to be talked up. None of my giveaways have even been sponsored. I'm just trying to plan for the possible future.

What are your thoughts on advertisement? To you think it's over blown in general? Do you find that blogs with ads are less appealing than blogs without ads? Do you think most who allow ads do so because they believe in the product? Comments, opinions, help is all appreciated.

Rotten Tomatoes & Dented Cans

2011-08-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

That's what a large part of my day consisted of. Today, I decided to walk the walk and headed over to St. Mary's Food Bank Alliance to put in some time. After all, this was where my extreme couponing items will be donated to, so I wanted to see what really went on with all that food. How was it processed? Who did it go to? Are there really that many needy people right in my own backyard? Questions swirled in my little head the whole ride over.

Frankly, I didn't really want to go volunteer today. My car had to go to the shop unexpectedly. I had to sell something through Craig's List on our way to the food bank. It was our last weekend day--meaning my last chance for an ounce of a break for the next four days solid. Kids were screaming. And used me as a jungle gym. The house had once again exploded. The dog needed a walk. All I wanted to do was send everyone out of the house and relax. Yeah, like that's ever an option...

Services for me?!

So instead I bucked up, stuck with my commitment, and off we went. I got my head in the game. Slapped on a smile. And tried hard not to fall asleep on the way over. We quickly signed in and headed over to the volunteer break area. It was filled to the brim. I guess this means school is back in session. Thankfully, we found a cozy spot in time to get the usual background information on the company before heading to our assignments. Unlike most company spiels, this one meant a lot to me. Firstly, there were lots of statistics. And since I generally swoon over talks of numbers, my knowledge-seeking brain gobbled up any and every fact put out there. Firstly, St. Mary's is the first and oldest food bank--in the world. That's a pretty cool thing to have in our backyard. Something to actually be proud of about our state. What's not so cool about our state? 26% of children are considered poor, 1 in 5 families and 1 in 7 seniors are considered to be food insecure, meaning they have to decide if those medications are more important than buying food. The kid part though? One of the worst in the nation. I guess we need the giant food bank after all.

But enough facts. They're depressing, are they not? Let's move on to the positive. We started our assignment sorting tomatoes. Many growers donate left over crops or those going bad. Thus, the need to sort through the bruised and moldy ones to hopefully find some edible ones. Boxes and boxes sorted and repacked. The rest was dumped into a huge bin of lovely smelling decaying tomatoes. Mmm...makes you hungry. Well, our group started getting down to the bottom of the pallet only to discover that so many tomatoes were decaying that their juices were seeping into the boxes below. Super. A few of us ventured through the dripping boxes, but the food bank employee decided it was a relatively lost cause and sent us on to our next big assignment: sorting general donations. This was a biggie for me. I got to see exactly what people, just like me, were donating...and what the food bank allowed. Relief set in as we walked by the sorted bins, and I found one dedicated entirely to snacks. Woo! The couponing extravaganza loot will actually be accepted! With a huge sigh, we walked on to complete our task. It was relatively simple. Keep the non-expired. Keep the expired, as long as there's no expiration date before August 2009. I was quite surprised that they allowed food to go two years after expiration. I guess that's what all the preservatives are for (yuck!). What they did throw away? Things without ingredient listings. But mainly? It was a lot of dented cans. Even the tiniest dent sent the can into the trash. Truly sad. Ok, so I know a dent can lead to bacterial growth and botulism. However, the occurrence of that even in dented cans is low. The food bank is just following rules. Some really sucky rules. So I threw and threw and threw big cans and little cans. Soup cans and vegetable cans. I desperately wanted to retrieve them all, dump the contents, and recycle them. Dumpster dive where all the dumpstered items ventured to. Oh well. Maybe they will be recycled. I know they do send some of the food waste to some who compost it. Any step to create less waste is a good step.

Good v. bad

In the end, the time was invigorating. Being with others to help even more. Granted, I know most did it for the hours to just get signed off on, it's still great to see people getting out there. We were only two of six individual volunteers, meaning we were not affiliated with a business requiring community service or a school. That was pretty discouraging. The most discouraging part of the whole thing? Seeing the food waste just from the food bank. The tomatoes that had all decomposed. The dented cans. Someone would have eaten those. They could have been used before going bad. Food is an absolute necessity, and it's sad to see how we see it as just a throw away item instead of something we can spread and nourish others with. And this gives me incentive. Incentive to actually use up all that we purchase. Like most, we are great at creating food waste. Not getting to something in time and just tossing it when it goes bad. We've stopped purchasing as much food, but we still find that things go to waste faster than can be eaten. And that comes down to laziness. It's easier to eat some crackers than to wash, cut, and cook some broccoli. I have a strong disdain for laziness, but I'm just so good at it. So that's mainly what I got out of the whole day. Eat what you have. Stop being lazy. Be thankful. If not, your life is just going to be full of rotten tomatoes and dented cans.

An Honest Mistake

2011-08-18T23:24:00.000-07:00

Today, I found out some news that could be considered purely awesome. And truly, it is. But the extra baggage with the news? Embarrassment. And subsequent apologies, like need to hold a Tiger Wood's press conference style apologies. Ok, so I didn't cheat on my wife (or husband) with anyone else. All I did was live in an altered reality that was fully believed to be true, but in the end good ol' fashioned science wins. And truth prevails.

So here's the truth. I don't have a dairy allergy. I most likely have an intolerance, but not the "I'm gonna die if even a trace amount of dairy rests for a second on my tongue" allergy like once believed. For almost six whole years. Avoiding restaurants. Food cooked by others. General deliciousness. All from fear.

Now, you may be wondering how does one even think they have a severe allergy when one is not present? Let me begin. I've had a lot, I mean a lot a lot, of digestive problems. I've spent the last ten years of my life between various doctors trying to find a cause of my problems. About six years ago I thought I stumbled upon an answer. I went out to dinner to the Cheesecake Factory with family and consumed a meal full of dairy-like an udder full of dairy-filled products. That evening I felt like sheer death. I was miserable and holding the dinner down as if it were a life or death scenario. I concluded that dairy must be the cause of my problems. So I did what most would do if they suspected a food intolerance. I started eliminating the food from my diet. And I started feeling better. For about a year, I just chocked it up to lactose intolerance. I never tried any of those lactose-free things because I was mainly lazy and didn't want to chance that it wouldn't work. On I went with a reduced dairy diet. But then I started feeling yuck again. Oh, it must be such and such since it contains some dairy. More and more items were eliminated from my diet until not even a trace amount of dairy was allowed to graze my lips. Again, I started to feel better. Validation. Sometimes, I would find out there was dairy in something I ate, but that was generally after I started feeling sick and my throat would feel tight. Thus, it was the only probable conclusion that I had a dairy allergy now, not an intolerance. And the rest is history.

Through these five years, I told various doctors I thought I had a dairy allergy. Not a single one suggested allergy testing or lactose intolerance. I was told to just avoid it and take some Benadryl. As most young, naive people do, I accepted the doctors' nonchalance as agreeing with me about my allergy. The next reasonable step is to start telling people about said allergy. I told my friends and family. Added it on doctor's forms. Googled nutritional information for any restaurant I wanted to go to. But it was hard and depressing living dairy-free. Often, I felt like I had lost a good friend. That my life would have to be this hard for as long as I lived. Traveling would be near impossible since I had to be careful about anything I ate. It was hard enough to go to restaurants in places that did speak my language and try to explain my allergy. Life felt like a very tiny plastic bubble revolving around food. And for someone who is a crappy meal planner and picky eater, it seemed that no hope was in sight.

Then I got a brilliant idea--ask a doctor to get allergy tested. Duh. I often hinted at it at previous doctor appointments, but to no avail. This time I demanded. After jumping through insurance hoops galore, I was finally given a blood test. Everyone, the allergist included, told me there was no hope. That my symptoms trumped the results. But those damn results? Negative. With 98% certainty. The allergist was stunned. I was shocked. My mother thought, "I told you so." Life had opened up, but not without backlash.

The embarrassment? Killer. How do you tell people who have been so generous and gone out of their way to make you special food or go to the five or so "approved" restaurants that "so yeah, I'm not allergic to dairy"? (Through a blog, obviously). I'm thankful, I am. For all of the kindness of friends and family. For my life taking a hopefully positive twist. For a chance to gain some fast weight. For ice cream and pizza and Italian food and cheese.

I still don't know how my body will react as I start adding dairy back in. I tried a single organic cheese sandwich cracker today. And frankly? It was disgusting. Seriously, I don't get how my kids down these things like they have not eaten in months. Just vile. But I didn't die or throw up or feel more miserable than normal. A relative success. It will be a slow path back to the really good stuff though. Dairy is not so easy for our bodies to digest, but I hope a healthy dose of Lactaid will remedy that. Ok, so I know now being able to consume dairy will not automatically make me healthier, but I was a crappy vegan. There are many who are great at it. Enjoy it. Unfortunately, I'm just not one of those people. Plus, I see this as my rescue from possibly having to end vegetarianism as I have been at the end of my rope trying to gain even an ounce of weight. Now I can consume some cow product without having to look in those big brown eyes and say sayonara. Instead, I can say thank you and get daily cow licks (you know, since I have a dairy farm and all).

This path has been long and treacherous. Depressing and isolating. However, there are some positives out of this whole experience. I learned how to do some new baking and cooking with products I may have never tried otherwise. Granted, I'm not a huge fan of the all the processed faux dairy products, but I did find some amazing vegan recipes with simple, delicious ingredients in place of dairy. I also learned that my old high school self knew the truth of life when I came up with, "what the eyes refuse to see, the mind knows to be." Deep, I know. That's what teenage angst is for. In this case, what was on the surface, a possible dairy allergy, was what was believed. If I had really delved deeper, really examined all the clues, my mind knew the true answer or solution all along. It's hard to have to analyze things so deeply when all you want is a simple answer. After years of analyzing and delving into the depths of brain folds, it's apparent what the causes of my problems are--stress. This is not an answer doctors like. There's not much they can do for that. No tests. Or medications. So they come up with other possible solutions. Truthfully, I'm quite done being a guinea pig. I'm moving on. Dealing with my stress. Not blaming the poor, defenseless dairy cows. And pleading to you all to forgive me for my udder stupidity. (hardy-har-har. that was a dad-level joke).

Please excuse me as I now covet my new possible meals and dream of dancing ice cream cones and donuts and grilled cheeses singing,"Let's all go to Megyn's tuuummy. Let's all go to Megyn's tuuummmy. Let's all go to her tummy and not kill her today."

Week 2- Are We Done Yet?!

2011-08-17T22:44:00.000-07:00

Week 2 of the Green Extreme Couponing Challenge is over. Thank goodness! Really, I have so much to say about this challenge, that I'm not sure I'll make it to September. The bomb is ticking, my friends...

So let's get this over with. The grand total for this week? $16.43-- bringing the overall total to $34.05. And the month is half over. And I still have to spend $65.95. Crap.

Anyhow, here's the breakdown of items:

Ok, a little less junk than last week.

-3 Horizon Organics chocolate milk: $2 with $1 off 3 coupon
-Kettle Chips: $1 with a $1 off coupon
-Annie Chun's Seaweed Strips: Free! On sale for $1 & had $1 off coupon
-3 Barbara's Bakery Snackimals: $0.99 each $1 off each coupon & on clearance for $1.99
-Think Thin bar: $0.50 with a 50 cent of coupon that was doubled
-Whey to Go protein powder package: FREE sample
-Cascadian Farms jelly: $1.79 with $1 off coupon
-Rice Select Texmati: $1.69 with a $2 off coupon
-3 MaraNatha natural peanut butter: $1.99 each with $1 off coupon each
-6 cans O Organic beans (various): $0.51 total with $1 off coupon for each

Again, I somehow succeeded in getting each item to average to less than a buck. This week each item averaged $0.82 and overall the items are averaged out to $0.55 each. Not too shabby, especially since I'm now getting to the higher priced items. As for the conundrum of last week over organic junk v. healthy pesticide-laden, I'm still not too sure. I was able to get more protein filled items instead of just straight carbs this week. A baby step up, but it's still a step in the right direction.

As for the actual shopping, it feels quite schizophrenic. I ended up at three stores this week after trying to compile a list of the coupons I had and the the locations with sales. Slight fail. Here's the problem--a lot of the sales and deals are not advertised. I always find myself meandering around stores trying to match an item with a coupon while trying to scan through my mental price list of the same item's price at other stores. I was going to be super organized and make a list of the coupons with the item's price at each of the local stores. But the truth? I'm lazy. And have a life. So that's when I get to look lost in the woods, causing store employees to give me funny looks and awkwardly ask if I need help. Maybe they'd like to make a spreadsheet for me. I didn't ask. After I end up wandering aimlessly with maybe a couple decent finds, I completely forget what I needed to get at said store. This leads to me either getting random things for the boys or, in most cases, or just leave empty-handed for the fam. Thus, the "let's see how creative Mommi can be today" comes into play. A general epic fail. (Other than the random vegan creamy walnut sauce I whipped up. That was an epic win...if only I can replicate it).

So there you have it. Two weeks down. Two to go. Bare pantry and fridge for us. Full bags for the food bank. Oh the irony...