When Family Time Ain't Worth It

I'm warning y'all that this may come off as a total bitch-fest. But this is something I just don't understand.

The topic of my confusion--why families with young children choose to travel.

Firstly, I have to say that if you have the time, resources, and patience to travel with small children, by all means, go right ahead. This is not a post against you, but rather my opinion of why I refuse to partake in traveling with children in tow.

Let's begin...

When I was pregnant with Noah, I had dreams of traveling with my son. Taking him to far away lands. Camping in the mountains. Spending less time at home and more time away. Growing up, we rarely traveled and never did so out of the country. I wanted my son to have a better life than me. Experience more. Be well-versed in other cultures.

Then reality of infancy set in. When Noah was four months old, we took an eight hour car ride to visit GraNana. This wasn't so bad. Except for the diaper changing. And lack of schedule. And having to nurse all the time. And the exhaustion. My goals of traveling seemed possible with a little work. A year later, we took the same trip. This time? Not so easy. Keeping a one year old busy in an eight hour car ride was a chore along with keeping him busy in a hotel room and at GraNana's where every surface was laden with breakable items galore. Add to the fact that I had traveled with just my mom, meaning no extra help from Daddy. Stressful doesn't even begin to explain it.

A few months passed, and K-man was born. Soon after, my mom's side of the family held a reunion in Florida. Despite having the trip paid for, I declined. Who turns down a FREE trip?! Me, the mother of a toddler and newborn, that's who. After guilt set in once the rest of my family returned from their glorious beach trip, we decided to take yet another eight hour car ride to GraNana's. Thankfully, The Hubs was able to go this time. And yet again, we welcomed another bout of stress all in the name of family time.

Well, I've decided no more. As bad as it sounds, I'm slightly glad GraNana canceled on us when we were set to journey yet another eight hours to see her this past month. Taking two toddlers with just my mom for help seemed a bit cruel to me. With yet another upcoming family reunion planned for The Hubs' relatives, I've decided to put my foot down. Maybe I'm selfish, but frankly, I'm not one who welcomes any added stressors.

Now, you may be thinking that this may not seem like a "good" minimalist thing to do--avoid family time for selfish reasons. However, I've created a list as to why it may just fit in line with minimalism.

Why We Won't Travel With Toddlers:

1. MONEY. Traveling is wicked expensive. With Keegan almost being two, it would mean four plane tickets should we choose to fly somewhere. Add in a rental car and hotel room. There goes two grand. Minimalism encourages you to spend your money wisely on things you love. A trip is not fun with young children. I'd rather save that dough.

2. STUFF! Ok, so I know there are people who travel lightly with small children. Kudos to them. However, right now, we require at least one crib or pack & play for Keegan. Add in the stroller if we want to walk anywhere (have you seen The Chariot?! That thing is a beast!). If we fly, then we'd need a vehicle, meaning we'd have to bring both boys' car seats. Oh yeah, and the diapers, changes of clothes, entertainment, blankees, etc.

3. SLEEP. The few times we have traveled with the boys, it meant we got little sleep. It takes them forever to calm down at night. They rise early. And forget about naps! When I hear the word "vacation," I envision lots of delicious sleep. This is exactly the opposite of what happens on a so-called vacation with young children involved.

4. MISSING FAMILY. This is a tough one for me. I love being with family. However, I prefer to do so in the comfort of my own city as long as there are wild boys involved. I figure that most of the relatives are older. Thus meaning, they either have no children or adult children. It makes more sense for them to come to us than us to come to them. So if you're a family member reading this, please come see us! We miss you!

5. MEMORIES. I get this a lot. "Don't you want to give your kids lasting memories." Sure. However, episodic memory (memories of events) doesn't usually kick in until at least two years of age, meaning kids will have no memories of such events. Even with Noah having episodic memory, who remembers trips from when they were three? I know I sure don't. I barely remember much before five. Stick that money into savings, spare the stress, and take the kid to the zoo. It will be just as fun as going to Disneyland at this point. When the boys are actually old enough to remember a trip, we may actually consider going somewhere.

6. FUN FACTOR. Let's be real. When you travel with small children, or any children for that matter, vacations are usually planned around activities they want to do. When I go on vacation, I want to do things that are fun for me. Such things as staying out late, sleeping in, hiking, action sports, and general young adult debauchery. Even with family to help babysit, you never get out of parenting when the kids are with you. Plus, the idea of walking around Disneyland all day makes me want to saw off an arm. It's already become an agreement that my parents will take the boys to Disneyland, while The Hubs and I can go on the real rides at Six Flags. I'm just so not a fan of kid stuff. Period. And thus, what grandparents are for!

This is by no means an extensive list. Just a quick list to give family when they start to yell at me for being lame and not going anywhere.

How about you? Do you/have you traveled with young children? Did you find it stressful? Or are you like me, and avoid traveling with small children as if it were the plague? Let's share!