The Lie We Believe

As parents, we want the best for our children. One area all parents are in agreement on is education. I'm sure we can all say that we want our children to get the best education humanly possible. Ok, well our ideas of what the "best" education entails is up for debate, but at the end of the day, we all want our kids to have all the educational opportunities possible.

What a better way to start their education than at home! As much as I agree with this statement, I think companies have taken advantage of parents' helicopter-ness when it comes to education. Buy this! It will increase fine motor skills. You need Y, so your child will develop a healthy imagination and better problem solving skills. Well, we all need well-rounded children. How could we deprive our children of an object that will enhance their intelligence? So we buy and buy and buy some more until our house looks like a preschool or children's museum. The kid just won't turn out right if we don't give them every opportunity for growth possible!

Like most I know, I completely bought into that idea--that our children must have these items to grow up appropriately. Even in my first post about what we own child-wise, I discuss that I keep items under the guise of it being "educational." Through this whole process of practicing what I preach, I had to take a hard look at all the kid crap paraphernalia. After having a long talk with myself, I realized that no amount of fancy educational doodads will increase my children's IQ or make them a better person. At the end of the day, a lot of it comes down to genetics. IQ and personality are both highly heritable. As much as I'd love my children to be the next Einstein, I also have to realize that it's most likely not in their genes. Yet, it also means that more than likely, they will have higher than average IQ's just due to genetics (average is 100, if you graduated high school it jumps to 105, graduated college & it jumps to 115). There goes worry number one that I won't have smart kids. Genetics generally say otherwise.

Then there's the developmental factors. Genetics is just a portion of the picture. Often to achieve our "full potential," we have to be in certain circumstances to increase the likelihood of bringing out a trait. And this is where the toy companies get you. However, what they fail to realize is that every child will utilize toys and items in different ways. Some children are more predisposed to be creative over being analytical, so a toy made to enhance mathematical understanding may not even work for that child's inherent learning style. See where I'm going with this? Not a single toy will achieve everything for everyone. But now you're thinking what the companies want you to think--but what if it can bring that out in my child?! I had those same thoughts too.

But I got over them. How? I took a look around the world and throughout history. My own father who grew up with very, very little (especially in the way of toys), grew up to be a highly intelligent man. If you look around the world and you make the assumption that toys lead to greater intelligence, would you then say that people in South America or Africa are less intelligent because they have less stuff to enhance their natural abilities? I'm guessing we can all agree that conclusion is a bunch of B.S. There are just as many intelligent people coming from less than there are from countries that have more. Thus meaning, the amount of educational crap you fill your house with probably isn't going to do much to educate your children over any other child worldwide.

And from that conclusion is how I am getting rid of the majority of our boys' educational gadgets same ol' toys. Those three ride on toys can help their gross motor skills, but so can tumbling and jumping off their beds. Those toys that supposedly increase reasoning abilities can also be created from items in the recycling. Why house a small library when you can just go to one and return the books when your child tires of them? There's really just no need.

Our kids will turn out fine with three toys or three hundred toys. No amount of coercion and promises from "educational" toy companies will change my child's genetics or make them something they are just not.

So what to keep then? That's up to you to decide. We still have the play kitchen, trampoline, ride on toys, and a whole Expedit bookcase full of toys. Could we deal with less and still have happy, educated children? Absolutely. However, it's a process. The boys are involved in every de-cluttering process. Noah generally decides what stays and what goes. I often find him telling me at stores that he wants to get rid of ALL of his toys just to get one toy. One of these days, I may just take him up on that offer. Plus, I often find that they play with the simplest toys--hand tools, balls, sticks, every item from recycling, sheets, and painting/drawing items. For now, we'll take it a day at a time and hope we come to a place where the boys still have enough to keep them busy playing, but not too much where toys are left to collect dust.

For those already concerned that their children will complain about getting rid of stuff, let me give you some hope. I have seen a significant increase in playing when we have less toys out. I believe that the more you have, the more overwhelmed a child can get. There are too many options. When there are less options, the boys seem to find more creative ways to play and utilize items more. Just some food for thought for those wary of my claims!

What's your toy strategy like? Have you also been susceptible to all of the educational claim of toys? I'd love to hear your experience and ideas!

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