F-U, FB!

Alas, it's the end of October. A week free of TV & Netflix. A sort of week free of a cell phone. And a partial week void of the internet. Best of all, I was off of FaceBook for the ENTIRE month.

No cheats. Strong withdrawals. Missing Friends. Frantic fingers begging to type in "fac..."

But then the cravings subsided and relief set in. I wasn't keeping up with my eighty or so friends every minute of my waking hour. Frankly, I no longer care. This is not to say that I no longer care about my friends, but I now understand why The Hubs has no desire to do anything on FaceBook. It's easy to get caught up on little things. It's easy to get too involved.

However, I didn't get this the first few weeks of the experiment. I was frantic, to say the least. What if I missed something important? What if I was considered a "bad" friend now because I stopped commenting on every freaking thing, which I felt immensely compelled to do in order to "prove" my level of devotion to the friendship. And conversely, that's how I judged certain friendships at times. Oh Sue hasn't commented on anything I've posted in days, but she's updating her status several times a day and commenting on other friends' posts. She must not like me. My feeling of self-worth was dumbly wrapped up in who did and did not respond to me on a social networking site. Sad, isn't it? Since I removed that source of ego-boosting, I felt lost.

How did I overcome it then? I mean, I've been a FaceBook addict for several years. How can one quit cold turkey and not feel crushed when their daily boost is eliminated? It all came from a FaceBook e-mail. As those of you on FaceBook know, there have been a ton of recent changes. One such change is that you receive fewer e-mails. Now, a weekly e-mail is sent out reminding you of updates and notifications. What totally rubbed me the wrong way in that first e-mail? I was told that I was missing important information from friends, like Sue commented on Beth's picture. Are you f-ing kidding me?! A friend commented on a different friend's picture, and this was Earth-shattering news?! How could my life be going on when I was missing out on friends commenting on other friends' posts?! THE HORROR! Needless to say, a bitter taste was left in my mouth. Then came the e-mails to The Hubs who rarely, if ever, checks FaceBook (or his e-mail for that matter). He was receiving frequent e-mails about how he should sign in because he's been gone for a long time and is also missing out on the most important happenings ever! No need for strike three because that strike two was a double whammy. Seriously, FaceBook, stop harassing your users to check your site out more often. That's extremely daft.

From those two e-mails, I went on no longer feeling my fingers hang over the letter "f". I moved on from social networking. I moved towards finding ways to create and strengthen friendships outside of such a site. I moved towards finding value in friends away from how often they commented on rather ridiculous and overly-abundant updates. I lived life and formed relationships the way people have done for millions of years. Granted, e-mailing and calling people are extremely useful, but I still prefer seeing friends and family in person. I now get why and how so many people can live without the aid of FaceBook. Being with people just feels better.

Will I return? Unfortunately, yes. I'm a part of a pre-school co-op that is ONLY on FaceBook. If I want to attend events or know about them, then I have to be on FaceBook. Then there are the close friends and relatives that I enjoy getting quick updates from since our chances to meet in person are few and far between. Overall, my plan is to be on FaceBook the least amount of time possible. I will allow myself to not comment on every single thing. I will be ok when I don't comment on anything or when people don't comment on things I post. And that posting I'll be doing? MUCH less. Fewer pictures. Fewer status updates. Fewer "liking" of pages. I'm hoping to use the damn site infrequently and continue to move forward with REAL life.

Finally, as for the other two sites I tried, Twitter and Google+, I'm truly not a fan of either. I don't get them. They don't share the appeal that FaceBook has. And I generally feel over all social networking sites as they seem to divert my attention from real life socializing. I'll still keep the accounts, but only plan to use them for blog stuff.

Connecting--I'm learning how to do just that. FaceBook can be a tool just as Twitter and Google+ can be, but I firmly believe they come at the larger cost of not teaching us real, in person social skills. There's often a lot of feelings and emotions wrapped up in who did and who did not say X,Y,Z. When you take away the superfluous social networking sites and take those lists of "friends" to your real life, it's often extremely apparent what level of relationship you have with certain people. Business associate. Acquaintance. Friend. Relative. To have all of that in one site hinders our ability to filter ourselves and share ourselves exactly how we want. Why not leave that for phone calls or e-mails? Or you can always avoid putting anything on those sites or create intricate lists to only share certain information with certain people, but that's a lot of work. For me, I'll just plan to put myself out there via Ye Olde Blog. Want to know what I'm thinking or feeling or what's happening in my life? Read here. Otherwise, I'll see close friends and family on FaceBook as a simple means to keep in touch with weddings and babies and to be a part of our co-op group.

Conclusion: Real relationships win in this growing battle between virtual and in-person relationships.


What are you thoughts on social networking? Do you have a favorite site? Do you over-share? Do you avoid sharing anything? Let's chat!